Ask The Old Married Guy

[AcrobatMan]

NBC

Have read most of thread - and have tried to keep up with your posts - in last 2 - 3 years

1) What does NBC crusader mean ?

2) Why do you think you are old ? Guys at 50 get girls aged 19 and 20

3) Do you believe that - "if you do bad to others, bad will happen to you" ?

4) Your views on bands like Oasis , Coldplay and Blur because I havent seen you in JB&C


Thanks
AcrobatMan

 

[nbcrusader]

what does this mean to you: "when you are in love, you only see the eyes"

it sort of makes sense to me, butI would like to hear others take on it.

Makes sense to me as well. The eyes are often called the windows to the soul. When you are in love, you don't see the physical imperfections, the "annoying" habits, etc. You see the inner beauty of the one you love.

 

[nbcrusader]

So, if you agree with me - please explain your statement of true love because if you agree with me, it seems to be contradictory.

Do you mean that in order to have true love all other aspects of love have grown and that is the only way that true love is achieved?

I had to think through this last night.

I guess when I thought of "looking for love" it was looking for someone to love me. That can't be bought, coerced, bargained for, or demanded. I think the hardest part of a relationship is waiting until the other person grows to your level of commitment. It may take a while, it may never happen.

I didn't want to suggest that the giving with no expectation of return meant that one had to submit to the intimate level of relationship. If someone is unloving (or not committed to a relationship at the same level), you still love them, but as you said, at the humankind level.

 

[nbcrusader]

What are the most important values you want to instill in your children? What kind of people do you want them to be?

On a spiritual level, I want both my children to have their own personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

From their faith, we want them to love others, show respect, be honest, do the best with what God has given them, etc. While we try to model behavior and instill values, the good stuff in our kids can only come from God.

We just got a "paycheck" from our 10-year old son. On Friday, a classmate walked up to our son at his desk and said, "I have a gun and I'm going to shoot you."

Now, this kid has been hassling our son all year with threats of "beating him up after school". Our son, who is probably the strongest in his class and stands almost a foot taller, only responded to these threats of a fight with "sorry, I have stuff to do after school."

Friday was different. In addition to the gun threat (and another student confirmed that this kid has talked about owning a gun), he threatened to pour gasoline on our 4-year old daughter and set her on fire. I think this is what really concerned our son.

We reported this to the teacher & principle on Friday. Monday, my wife was able to sit in on a meeting with the principle, teacher, our son and the kid who made the threat. The kid admitted to the statements, said he only had an air-powered BB gun, and said he was frustrated because other students were laughing and thought they were laughing at him.

As the meeting concluded, our son got up and as he left, gently touched the shoulder his class mate, saying softly "See you in a little bit". On his own, he communicated to both the principle and teacher that he was concerned about this boy. At the end of the school day, the teacher told our son “if there was a trophy for today, you should get it.” Our son replied, no, it should go to the other boy because he told the truth about what he said.

I am proud of how our son handled himself through this situation. But I can’t take credit for the values that have grown in him. That has come from his faith.

And I *think* you have boys and girls-if so, do you feel you parent them differently because of their gender, or is it more just because they are different as people?

Yes, we have a 10-year old boy and an almost 5-year old (going on 15) girl. I think we do parent them differently because they are really different people. The hard part is allowing differences because of who they are instead of falling into differences because of what society says they are (boy/girl stereotypes). The age difference also works into the equation. My wife and I regularly discuss how we handle different situations with the kids and compare/contrast what was effective with the older with what might work with the younger.

 

[Irvine511]

you sound like a great parent.

 

[nbcrusader]

1) What does NBC crusader mean ?

Interference is my first real forey into an online community. As I surveyed posts, I realized that practically no one used their real name. All my email address up until that point was my real name. So I figured it was appropriate to adopt a screen name.

About that time, I read a story about a high school that was getting pressure to drop its nickname: the "Crusaders". It struck me as yet another exercise in political correctness.

So, to show my rebellious nature, I wanted to use crusader in my name. The "NB" was added because I live in Newport Beach.

See, now you know not to mess with me because I might do something rebellious like pick a controversial screen name....

2) Why do you think you are old ? Guys at 50 get girls aged 19 and 20

Let's say I'm at the older edge of the curve for this board. Anyone who never got to see the original Star Wars movies in the theater when they came out is young to me.

3) Do you believe that - "if you do bad to others, bad will happen to you" ?

My bad is my sin. While I may be forgiven, I will have consequences. Beyond that, I really couldn't describe a rule set for the consequences.

4) Your views on bands like Oasis , Coldplay and Blur because I havent seen you in JB&C

I've heard of Oasis and Coldplay. The names of the bands, not their music. While I have a fairly good sized collection of music (250+ cds or a couple thousand mp3's), I still end up listening to U2 most of the time.

The only new music I've heard that caught my ear was Bowling of Soup.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

that's a great example of a good kid (the story of your son in the school incident), I think you have to take some credit for that

 

[BostonAnne]

Wow nbc! I am so proud of your son! Mrs Springsteen is right - you have to take some credit for that.

 

[deep]

inside joke

1) What does NB mean ?

Answer:
Guys at 50 get girls aged 19 and 20.

 

[Macfistowannabe]

We just got a "paycheck" from our 10-year old son. On Friday, a classmate walked up to our son at his desk and said, "I have a gun and I'm going to shoot you."

Now, this kid has been hassling our son all year with threats of "beating him up after school". Our son, who is probably the strongest in his class and stands almost a foot taller, only responded to these threats of a fight with "sorry, I have stuff to do after school."

Friday was different. In addition to the gun threat (and another student confirmed that this kid has talked about owning a gun), he threatened to pour gasoline on our 4-year old daughter and set her on fire. I think this is what really concerned our son.

I would've dropped a load over it.

You should be proud about how you, your wife, and your son handled this matter.

 

[AcrobatMan]

thanks for answering

 

[For Honor]

How old do you have to be to understand Love?

 

[For Honor]

I'm going to guess and say like 10,000......

 

[nbcrusader]

Obviously, it varies. And, I'd say it takes a lifetime to fully understand love.

But it is a wonderful thing to discover when two people are committed to living and learning love together.

 

[For Honor]

But it is a wonderful thing to discover when two people are committed to living and learning love together.

I have never, ever, ever used that icon before in any way in any site at any time in my life. But if I am ever to use it, this would be a worthy occasion.


I guess you have to be patient for some things.
It's hard, but I'm slowly beginning to accpet that I can't do everything, no matter how much I desire it, at this point in my life.

--------------------------------



How about this:

this is an interesting question...




What U2 song, or songs, do you think go along best with love?
I wanted to come up with some question, but I can't seem to word it right. A lot of the songs are good for love....

but I guess I'll just leave it really open ended

what songs do you most associate with love
or exemplify love the best?

 

[nbcrusader]

What U2 song, or songs, do you think go along best with love?
I wanted to come up with some question, but I can't seem to word it right. A lot of the songs are good for love....

but I guess I'll just leave it really open ended

what songs do you most associate with love
or exemplify love the best?

I'll stick with U2 songs. What I like about many of U2's "relationship" songs is that they sound like it is between people, but they really are about God.

As for love songs, All I Want Is You has some mighty fine statements on sacrificial love:

You say you'll give me eyes in the moon of blindness
A river in a time of dryness
A harbour in the tempest.
All the promises we make, from the cradle to the grave
When all I need is you.

 

[pax]

to AIWIY

I'd love to have it played when I get married.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Do you write love letters to your wife? I hope that's not too personal, if it is just say so

 

[For Honor]

It seems like there are few people that a person can really conceivebly be in a loving relationship. Though I also feel that you can love anyone if you want to, it is very rare to find two people who want the same thing.


I guess I wonder how much of it is finding someone who is capable of having the right qualities. Or is it finding someone who already does have those qualities. Or is it more just finding someone who you can get along wiht, and, if you're lucky, those qualities will develope for you over time.


Eh, I think I confused myself a little
but I hope you can figure out what I mean, a little....

 

[nbcrusader]

Do you write love letters to your wife? I hope that's not too personal, if it is just say so

Not too personal at all - at least you didn't ask me to publish them


When we were dating, I wrote silly poems and stuff for her. I'm sure she still has it.

Being a man of few words (though you wouldn't know it by my post count), I haven't written classic love letters. I usually leave little notes.

I like to give her a card at random times for no reason. I also like sneaking cards into her suitcase when she travels.

Around Valentines day, I've purchased a box of kid's valentines (designed for classroom distribution), write different things on each one and hide them throughout the house. I've got to be more careful with this now as we have kids who can read - if you know what I mean

 

[diamond]

upon meeting the db9 in a public setting next to Bono and what not, did u find him to be a normal bloke and do u care when he speaks and writes in the 3rd person occassionally as i'm doing now?

thank u
db9

 

[nbcrusader]

upon meeting the db9 in a public setting next to Bono and what not, did u find him to be a normal bloke and do u care when he speaks and writes in the 3rd person occassionally as i'm doing now?

thank u
db9

It was the highlight of the pre-concert. Edge, Bono and db9 all at once!

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

aw, that's very romantic

 

[nbcrusader]

aw, that's very romantic

My notes to my wife or meeting diamond?






ps - she is going on a retreat this weekend, so I hid two cards in her suitcase

 

[diamond]

It was the highlight of the pre-concert. Edge, Bono and db9 all at once!

2 U2 fans w differing IQs
NB007 and db3

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

My notes to my wife or meeting diamond?

lol, well I won't tell your wife about you and diamond

That is so sweet that you put notes in her suitcase, I officially nominate you as Interference's most romantic man

 

[nbcrusader]

I can be a little devil with the notes & cards as well.

Sometimes I will hide the card where I know she will find it in front of her friends. I save the sexy cards for those situations

 

[For Honor]

Heh heh heh......

 

[RosieHS]

Hello nbcrusader and congratulations on your anniversary.

A little background: I have found and married the man of my dreams. I've been married five years and am counting on a lifetime together. We are both members of a Unitarian Universalist church and am thankful we both see eye-to-eye where it concerns our spirituality (he is Taoist - whose philosophies I espouse for myself). It is such a balm to be with him.

My concern is that he loves me unconditionally, he has said as much. However, I have difficulty in saying the same for him (I'm working it out nicely though). Maybe it's because I'm a woman and am "entitled" to psycho moods. (-jk) Dunno? Anywho, I do love, respect, admire, support, nurture, and even lust after him (and so much more!). I feel so fortunate to be mated with him. (Sorry if this is getting a bit "soppy".)

Can you honestly say that you love your wife unconditionally or are there conditions to your love?

 

[joyfulgirl]

Hi nbc - congrats on your anniversary and for getting a prime GA spot! When I was waiting (in vain) to get a glimpse of a band member before the opening show, I started to feel weird, like it was bordering on idolatry, so I left after about an hour and half (they didn't show up anyway). I'm not a Christian but I do have a serious spiritual practice to which I'm very devoted and which cautions against idolatry much as the Bible does. As a Christian, did you have any feelings like that? I felt pretty certain that I could make the separation between being a normal fan wanting to see a great person and idolizing someone, and I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again, but it all still felt kinda weird to me.