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Old 06-17-2005, 02:09 PM   #166
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Originally posted by pax
I have another question for you, nbc, if you don't mind...what do you think of maybe keeping a religious/spiritual wedding ceremony separate from a legal one? I've read of this as a possible solution to the gay marriage controversy; that is, allow gay couples to receive all the benefits and rights of what we now call legal marriage, but change it so that all couples, gay or straight, get something like a "civil union" or "legal partnership." Then "marriage" or "weddings" would be the sole province of religious or spiritual communities, who would be free to determine for themselves whether or not they choose to marry gay couples (or straight ones, LOL).
I think it is entirely appropriate to develop a clear body of law regarding civil relationships. As you note, there are many couples, gay and straight, who live together but have not clear body of law to help define the relationship.

Many corporations will extend benefits to partners of employees as long as the employee documents the relationship. I think this should be statutory.


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As a corollary to this question, how would you integrate some measure of prayerful/spiritual contemplation into a civil marriage ceremony which, for whatever reason, had to be carried out quickly and before the couple would have time to plan a ceremony for family, friends, and the faith community?
Interesting question. A simple time of prayer together or taking of communion (little known fact, communion need not be administered by a priest/pastor). Or a sharing of Scripture passages that are meaningful to the couple.
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Old 06-17-2005, 04:54 PM   #167
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How about this


I just did a sociology paper on how divorce affects children as they grow into adulthood, and then they are more likely to divorce themselves.


I wonder if I am falling into that catagory, because I would almost marry someone now, if i could, in a "perfect wolrd"

But I wonder if I am really soundly considering that. (in all reality, there is NO way I'm going to marry anyone soon, but I am getting that sort of.... 'urge' so to say).

I just wonder if my feelings are unfounded, and I am being too emotional or not. I know i could be happy with it, but I don't want to force that on anyone else. So I guess patience is in order....
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Old 03-10-2006, 09:04 AM   #168
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Another year under the belt. And it keeps getting better

[size=1.5]In an act of shameless self promotion, I'll answer any new questions.[/size]
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Old 03-10-2006, 09:11 AM   #169
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Another year under the belt. And it keeps getting better
aw happy anniversary

go on, shamelessly self-promote!
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Old 03-10-2006, 09:14 AM   #170
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Happy anniversary nbcrusader!!
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Old 03-10-2006, 09:21 AM   #171
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Happy anniversary!

I'll toss in a question...how does an old married guy make a 16th wedding anniversary special?
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Old 03-10-2006, 09:44 AM   #172
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Originally posted by AliEnvy
I'll toss in a question...how does an old married guy make a 16th wedding anniversary special?
We realized we couldn't top the 15th anniversary (tickets to a U2 concert), so simply going out to dinner (without the kids) will be a treat. Actually, we are going out tomorrow night (when we could get a sitter), so tonight I'm still taking our daughter out for dinner (we have a standard date night on Fridays).

My wife has already found one of the card I got for her (I'll hide a few in spot I know she will find through the day).
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Old 03-10-2006, 09:48 AM   #173
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Originally posted by nbcrusader

so tonight I'm still taking our daughter out for dinner (we have a standard date night on Fridays).
That's so awesome, sigh. My father never did anything like that for me, I was lucky if he remembered my birthday. I think he still forgets it.

Anyway I will try to think of a vexing, perplexing question for you
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Old 03-10-2006, 09:51 AM   #174
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We realized we couldn't top the 15th anniversary (tickets to a U2 concert), so simply going out to dinner (without the kids) will be a treat. Actually, we are going out tomorrow night (when we could get a sitter), so tonight I'm still taking our daughter out for dinner (we have a standard date night on Fridays).

My wife has already found one of the card I got for her (I'll hide a few in spot I know she will find through the day).
Sounds very familiar hehe
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Old 03-10-2006, 12:47 PM   #175
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Congratulations, NBC, on your special day. I celebrated my 15th anniversary in November. I hope you got your wife something special this year..... Have fun.
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Old 03-10-2006, 01:19 PM   #176
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What do you do to keep the communication good between you and your wife? What do you think you can do to make it better? (sorry if you've already answered that or the next one, this thread is old and so is my memory )

What three qualities do you love most about your wife?

Why do you think marriages that break down irretrievably do? And how long should people try to fix them before they give up, aren't some just better off broken up?

I hope those aren't too personal, you don't have to answer them if they are.
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Old 03-10-2006, 03:50 PM   #177
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Congratulations on your anniversary--been a big week for you on many fronts, hasn't it? Well, here's an unambiguously pleasurable one at least.
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Old 03-10-2006, 06:30 PM   #178
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Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
What do you do to keep the communication good between you and your wife? What do you think you can do to make it better? (sorry if you've already answered that or the next one, this thread is old and so is my memory )
Communication requires an active choice to share one's thoughts, even those one is afraid to share. More importantly, it requires active listening. Not to just the words spoken, but to the context in which they are shared. I've had to learn that while my solution may be best, it may not be best for my wife, or she simply needs more time to understand my ideas. Listening to her thoughts, not as challenges but as attempts to understand has helped.

I think we made the biggest break-through by hitting the hot topics in a way that wasn't designed to place blame, but work towards solutions as a team. There have been times when I've been tempted to walk away from a conversation. I would realize that such an action would be a cheap dramatic statement on my part and I need to get my ego out of the way.

I could probably improve communication by getting rid of the distractions. No television on, no chores or tasks in progress, no computer nearby, etc. Fully engagement leads to better communication.
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Old 03-10-2006, 06:42 PM   #179
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What three qualities do you love most about your wife?
Only three?

I probably would short change her qualities by reducing them to writing. She brings a perspective to so many things that, without her, I would be a far less of a person.
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Old 03-10-2006, 06:44 PM   #180
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader


Only three?

I probably would short change her qualities by reducing them to writing. She brings a perspective to so many things that, without her, I would be a far less of a person.
That's so.. something, I can't think of a good enough adjective. Cheers to you
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