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Old 05-29-2005, 08:45 AM   #331
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Oh, and Carrie's apt is actually pretty typical. It's just that the supermodel wardrobe doesn't match the apt but there was an episode devoted to why that is (her shopping addiction).


ah yes, she was literally the little old woman who lived in her shoes.
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Old 05-30-2005, 06:42 AM   #332
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I have a question, I hope it's not offensive to you. I hope you know by now how much I respect you

I was just curious about your opinion, in general of course..of course it's a generalization and there are always exceptions

Do you think gay men or straight men are more obsessed w/ looks when they're looking for someone to date, a partner/mate/ whatever? For example..if a gay man/straight man had a rapport w/ someone they had been chatting with online w/out knowing what they look like, then they found out and weren't attracted to them physically-which would be more likely to lose interest in that person?

Of course you could also just ask, are looks more important to straight men? I happen to think they are. It runs contrary to the stereotype some people have about gay men, perhaps?

Of course you could also ask that same question about women..and of course some people are just fixated on looks regardless of their sexual orientation and that's the most important thing in their attraction to someone.
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Old 05-31-2005, 08:57 AM   #333
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Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
I have a question, I hope it's not offensive to you. I hope you know by now how much I respect you

I was just curious about your opinion, in general of course..of course it's a generalization and there are always exceptions

Do you think gay men or straight men are more obsessed w/ looks when they're looking for someone to date, a partner/mate/ whatever? For example..if a gay man/straight man had a rapport w/ someone they had been chatting with online w/out knowing what they look like, then they found out and weren't attracted to them physically-which would be more likely to lose interest in that person?

Of course you could also just ask, are looks more important to straight men? I happen to think they are. It runs contrary to the stereotype some people have about gay men, perhaps?

Of course you could also ask that same question about women..and of course some people are just fixated on looks regardless of their sexual orientation and that's the most important thing in their attraction to someone.


i think gay men are as obsessed with looks as straight men are with the way that women look. i think, however, that this can get amplified because the gay man has the unique position of being both the giver and receiver of what's known as "the male gaze." a gay man can notice what he notices in other men, and then turn to himself and see how he measures up, so to speak. i also think gay men are very realistic about this male gaze, and simply decide to lose weight, join a gym, start training for marathons, or start spending cash on a skin care routine.

i also think that, if we're talking about one night stands, and since we know that men tend to have an easier time having sex with no emotional attachments, men tend to be very simple when making decisions. speaking from personal experience, there are certain men who turn me on, and certain men who don't. some people who turn me on aren't good looking by conventional standards, and there are some very good looking people who i wouldn't be interested in sexually. and since we're talking about sex in it's most superficial form (the one night stand), most men make such a decision in a matter of seconds.

but at the end of the day, when we're talking about relationships, gay men are about the same as straight men -- i've seen many couples where one partner is clearly better looking than the other, or they're both gorgeous, or both homely. most gay men get past the looks thing fairly quickly, or at least gay men of substance do. while i think all men -- gay or straight -- find a spectacular looking individual appealing from a sexual standpoint, experience teaches gay men, in particular, that some of the best looking men out there are little more than totally superficial, shallow, self-absorbed assholes who should spend a little less time on their abs and a little more time learning how to be a fully functioning human being with developed tastes and interests beyond bars, Fire Island, egg whites, tanning, and who's sleeping with whom.
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Old 05-31-2005, 08:59 AM   #334
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thanks Irvine, I always enjoy reading your answers

and you can substitute great looking straight men for that last statement, except for the Fire Island part I suppose
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Old 05-31-2005, 08:48 PM   #335
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edited by pax for reasons of being totally inappropriate.
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Old 06-01-2005, 06:21 AM   #336
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thanks Irvine, I always enjoy reading your answers

So do I
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Old 06-01-2005, 06:40 AM   #337
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edited by pax for reasons of being totally inappropriate.


bring it on. i'll answer anything.
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Old 06-01-2005, 06:44 AM   #338
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No, believe me, you wanted no part of that one.

Anyway, that member won't be visiting FYM any longer.
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Old 06-01-2005, 07:25 AM   #339
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No, believe me, you wanted no part of that one.

Anyway, that member won't be visiting FYM any longer.


so i take it homophobia is still alive and well?
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Old 06-01-2005, 07:31 AM   #340
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"homophobic" was probably too nice a word for it.
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Old 06-01-2005, 07:34 AM   #341
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oh well.

i'll let my imagination wander ...
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Old 06-01-2005, 08:12 AM   #342
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"homophobic" was probably too nice a word for it.
And his profile says he's a teacher.
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Old 06-01-2005, 08:33 AM   #343
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Who cares Irvine, dare I say most of the people here show you respect and would be disgusted at whatever that was. Good thing I didn't see it

It's just the internet and the irresistible power it has for some people to sit there and say whatever the hell they feel like saying regardless of how offensive it is or whose feelings it hurts.

I must think of some more questions for you
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Old 06-01-2005, 08:35 AM   #344
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can i ask a question to my loyal readers?

has your attitude towards gay people and homosexuality changed a lot over the past 10 years? past 5? past 2 years?

if so, how? why?
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Old 06-01-2005, 08:38 AM   #345
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I think I was lucky in that neither of my parents passed on any kind of fear or distrust of gay people to me. When I was a kid and I asked my mom what it meant to be gay, she said something like, "Well, you know how you think boys are cute? If you were gay, you would think girls are cute the way you think boys are cute now. And if you were a boy, you'd think boys were cute, not girls."

And that was all. My dad, conservative politically though he is, has always insisted that what adults do in their bedrooms, so long as it hurts no one else, is their own business and the government has no right legislating it. So I came from a pretty positive background with that anyway, and consequently my views on homosexuality are pretty much the same today: it doesn't bother me.
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