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Old 02-02-2005, 07:29 PM   #16
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Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar
I throw off gay men all the time. I've been labeled as a metrosexual...

take it as a compliment.

and i bet the girls love it.
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Old 02-02-2005, 07:31 PM   #17
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Would Genesis re-unite ???
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Old 02-02-2005, 07:31 PM   #18
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Bono or Edge?
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Old 02-02-2005, 07:42 PM   #19
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Would Genesis re-unite ???

no, Phil's ego is way too big.
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Old 02-02-2005, 07:45 PM   #20
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Originally posted by LyricalDrug
Bono or Edge?

while Edge certainly looks gayer, with the shaved head, stubble, and creative headware, i think Bono is much hotter. in fact, i blame the "one" video -- the smoking, smoldering, i'm-an-angstful-blue-eyed-irish-poet video -- for my orientation. i was transfixed by the B-man at 14, and to this day have a thing for accents.

so, Bono.

of course, were we to include the band, LMJ takes the cake.

all the gay boys in the house LOVE him.

seriously. those smooth pecs, that hair ...
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Old 02-02-2005, 07:53 PM   #21
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Originally posted by Irvine511



take it as a compliment.

and i bet the girls love it.
I do, and absolutely.
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Old 02-02-2005, 07:58 PM   #22
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Im curious as to know how and when you started having feelings for guys? There is so much controversy wether people are born with these feelings, or they come about later in ones life for uncertain reasons. ( I have heard that if you start having a fascination with sex at a very young age, or pornography at a young age can do this). I hope my question doesnt offend anyone.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:01 PM   #23
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Im curious as to know how and when you started having feelings for guys? There is so much controversy wether people are born with these feelings, or they come about later in ones life for uncertain reasons. ( I have heard that if you start having a fascination with sex at a very young age, or pornography at a young age can do this). I hope my question doesnt offend anyone.

probably the same time as most people start having feelings for the opposite gender. 6th or 7th grade for me.

before that, i do distinctly feeling different from the other boys in my elementary school. i never particularly liked sports, for example, nor was i interested in some very typical boy things -- cars, for example. i did love music and movies, so that was how i tended to make friends. i remember feeling slightly apart from everyone, especially at recess. playing soccer didn't much interest me, but i didn't want to play on the bars with the girls either. i usually solved this problem by "playing pretend" if it was possible, reading if that wasn't possible, though by the time 5th grade rolled around i was fairly certain that whatever it was i prefered to be doing (not soccer), wasn't what was expected of me. i was being a sissy. so i forced myself to play soccer. but by this time, i found swimming -- an individual sport, no physical contact -- and that consumed my life through college.

i do remember pre-sexual crushes on other boys that i never felt for girls. this was the beginning of a unique kind of pain that all gay people feel: a longing based on a structural lack of reciprocity. you never mention this. you know that something is up, that you crave a different kind of intimacy with your peers that is different than the typical friendships that develop between heterosexual members of the same gender. i spent lots of time psychoanalyzing this: i was a swimmer, and surrounded by nearly nude male bodies, so that's what was wrong; it would all go away once i finally had sex with a girl; once i got out of my suburban town i'd finally find girls who appealed to me; etc. i've stopped swimming, had sex with a woman, and now live in a city. still like male bodies.

it isn't as natural as sneezing, or eating, as some claim. for me, it was a secondary part of my psychological and emotional make up in that confusing part of the brain. my first explicit sexual experiences -- the "heavy petting" at 14 or so -- was with girls, but it was pantomime, doing what i thought it was is hould be doing. i have always enjoyed the company of women, sometimes preferred it to men especially when i was younger; but i have never longed for a woman in the way that i have longed for a man, craving a physical embrace and emotional solidarity. this starts to consume you, probably more so than heteros because you have to suppress it, so it moves from desire to obsession. you're constantly checking yourself, trying to see if you're outgrowing it. i remember trying SO HARD to masturbate to pictures of naked women (pun sort of intended). i couldn't do it without significant effort.

i also think, that had i grown up in a different time, i would have tried even harder to be straight. to suppress and repress. to do what was expected of me (i do what is expected of me, and more, in all other areas of my life ... i've always been a rather typical overachiever). but what made me eventually "come out" was two things:

1. finding myself in the midst of a real relationship with a man, and not wanting to keep him secret from my friends

2. realizing that the cruelest thing would be to continue to lie, especially when combined with trying to date a woman.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:59 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511



probably the same time as most people start having feelings for the opposite gender. 6th or 7th grade for me.

before that, i do distinctly feeling different from the other boys in my elementary school. i never particularly liked sports, for example, nor was i interested in some very typical boy things -- cars, for example. i did love music and movies, so that was how i tended to make friends. i remember feeling slightly apart from everyone, especially at recess. playing soccer didn't much interest me, but i didn't want to play on the bars with the girls either. i usually solved this problem by "playing pretend" if it was possible, reading if that wasn't possible, though by the time 5th grade rolled around i was fairly certain that whatever it was i prefered to be doing (not soccer), wasn't what was expected of me. i was being a sissy. so i forced myself to play soccer. but by this time, i found swimming -- an individual sport, no physical contact -- and that consumed my life through college.

i do remember pre-sexual crushes on other boys that i never felt for girls. this was the beginning of a unique kind of pain that all gay people feel: a longing based on a structural lack of reciprocity. you never mention this. you know that something is up, that you crave a different kind of intimacy with your peers that is different than the typical friendships that develop between heterosexual members of the same gender. i spent lots of time psychoanalyzing this: i was a swimmer, and surrounded by nearly nude male bodies, so that's what was wrong; it would all go away once i finally had sex with a girl; once i got out of my suburban town i'd finally find girls who appealed to me; etc. i've stopped swimming, had sex with a woman, and now live in a city. still like male bodies.

it isn't as natural as sneezing, or eating, as some claim. for me, it was a secondary part of my psychological and emotional make up in that confusing part of the brain. my first explicit sexual experiences -- the "heavy petting" at 14 or so -- was with girls, but it was pantomime, doing what i thought it was is hould be doing. i have always enjoyed the company of women, sometimes preferred it to men especially when i was younger; but i have never longed for a woman in the way that i have longed for a man, craving a physical embrace and emotional solidarity. this starts to consume you, probably more so than heteros because you have to suppress it, so it moves from desire to obsession. you're constantly checking yourself, trying to see if you're outgrowing it. i remember trying SO HARD to masturbate to pictures of naked women (pun sort of intended). i couldn't do it without significant effort.

i also think, that had i grown up in a different time, i would have tried even harder to be straight. to suppress and repress. to do what was expected of me (i do what is expected of me, and more, in all other areas of my life ... i've always been a rather typical overachiever). but what made me eventually "come out" was two things:

1. finding myself in the midst of a real relationship with a man, and not wanting to keep him secret from my friends

2. realizing that the cruelest thing would be to continue to lie, especially when combined with trying to date a woman.
Thanks for awnsering my question! Just one more question, you said in previous years you tried to like girls, but do you think that if you really were determined that you could overcome being homosexual? It sounds like its more phsycological than anything, so is it possible to overcome it?
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Old 02-02-2005, 11:05 PM   #25
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Will you become a Canadian anytime soon, assuming Canada allows gay marriage?

Also, what is the “traditional definition” of marriage? Why do so many people fail to understand so such definition exists? The ancient Greeks openly practiced gay relationships, and many of the participants were philosophers. ANCIENT GREEK PHILOSOPHERS HAD A HUGE IMPACT ON THE DEVELOPMENT OF ROMAN CATHOLIC CANONS! Also, what about faiths, cultures, whatever, that practice polygamy? Surely Mormons (a Christian faith that can be found in Utah, USA and British Columbia, Canada) and certain fractions of the Islamic faith are as traditional as us, no? Further, what about cases of matriarchs, where a single woman assumes multiple male partners? Hmm, hmm?

Isn’t it more appropriate to speak of a localized legal definition of marriage than a traditional definition of marriage? I mean, it’s obvious “new” traditional definitions have penetrated the dominate North American mindset. Laws must be what’s really at the heart of this matter, no? Hey, weren’t there once laws excluding woman from the definition of person, as with blacks and aboriginals?

One love, one blood, one life…
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Old 02-02-2005, 11:33 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by macphisto23
do you think that if you really were determined that you could overcome being homosexual? It sounds like its more phsycological than anything, so is it possible to overcome it?
Overcome has such a negative connotation in this instance. Wish you had used a different word, even though you didn't mean anything by it.
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Old 02-02-2005, 11:34 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by cujo


Overcome has such a negative connotation in this instance. Wish you had used a different word, even though you didn't mean anything by it.
what word do you want me to say?
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Old 02-02-2005, 11:40 PM   #28
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Maybe using transition... I don't know. Overcome implies a disparity of lifestyle.

No worries though. This isn't my thread.
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Old 02-02-2005, 11:47 PM   #29
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I have a question that could really help me out. I have a friend that has been dealing with homosexual tendencies this past year. She had a girlfriend for awhile but left her when the relationship got abusive. Now she says she's trying to "go straight." I'm having a hard time relating to her since I'm married and have a kid but I love her as a friend and want to be as supportive as possible. What literature would you recommend for family and friends of people that are "coming out?" --How we can be supportive without being judgmental and also how to keep lines of communication open even though there may be tension in the relationship?
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Old 02-03-2005, 03:49 AM   #30
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I don't really have a question but I want to thank you for being so open and for trying to make people see that homosexual people are human too. I've always argued that but so many people dont believe it from a heterosexual. A

big thanks and a biiiiiiiig for you
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