Ask the Homo

[Irvine511]

Ive got a question for ya since Jude Law came up
What exactly is it about him that attracts so many gays?
I understand that he's extremely good looking but theres other good looking men out there that just dont have the same sort of gay following.
but hey, if i was a guy I'd probably do him

not sure ... i think he's of a transcendent beauty, more unique than most. he's distinctive, in the fashion of Paul Newman, as opposed to a more blandly handsome person like Brad Pitt.

he's also a good actor, and has played a couple of gay roles ... one in "midnight in the garden of good and evil" and another, i think. and we did get to see him naked in "talented mr. ripley."

i think he's also got a "quality," if you will, that makes him seem plausibly gay, even though it appears, by all accounts, that he's totally hetero.

 

[Palace_Hero]

1. by "sound gay" i assume you mean if my voice is high, if i have a lisp, if i endlessly reference show tunes and Liza Minelli. the answer, to all those things, is no. however, i do sound gay because most gay people sound like me.

2. i wish it were me but it is Jude Law.

3. the most derogratory term we have for straight people are "Republicans."

just kidding -- the closest thing to "poof" would be to call straight people "breeders." but the more common term would be "straights" or "heteros."

About sounding gay, I basically meant being camp. I am intrigued as to why a vast majority of gay people are camp, is it natural, is it a bit exaggurated etc..?

I sound a bit brash, but thats the point. I'm honestly interested. Whilst being 100% straight in the way I love women, have no sexual urges towards men and the like, I think gay people have very intersting qualities I both share and am fascinated by.

 

[Irvine511]

About sounding gay, I basically meant being camp. I am intrigued as to why a vast majority of gay people are camp, is it natural, is it a bit exaggurated etc..?

I sound a bit brash, but thats the point. I'm honestly interested. Whilst being 100% straight in the way I love women, have no sexual urges towards men and the like, I think gay people have very intersting qualities I both share and am fascinated by.

i don't know enough about camp as i should, but i do know that one of the seminal works on camp is Susan Sontag's "Notes on Camp" -- i read it years ago, and i recommend it if you're interested. i would also say that the vast majority of gay people are not camp, but many campy gay people are very easy to notice.

i think that gay people are camp for a few reasons ... the main one is that when you are in the position of being a perpetual outsider, you tend to find yourself in a role of observation, so you notice the different signs and signifiers of social contact and context that those who are able to fully participate in the dominant paradigm might not be as keenly tuned into. the result of this, sometimes, is to then be able to ironize your existence, to see the silliness and ridiculousness behind the machinations of society -- everything from weddings to first dates to report cards -- and then to take what might not be obvious to some, and to blow it up. gay people, in this sense, have lots in common with jewish people, in my opinion. it's not too much of a secret that the great American comedians tend to be either African-American or Jewish, and being out of the mainstream helps a comic since a good comic's job is to point out the absurdity of everyday life. i think gay people do this, but in a naturally more flamboyant manner -- take a look at Drag Queens. while i have absolutely no interest in women's clothing (either taking it off or putting it on), i love Drag Queens and have never laughed harder than i do at the few drag shows i've seen. i would say that what separates the Drag Queen from the Jewish or black comic is that the gay performance is a bit more multi-dimensional, it involves both cutting observations as well as clothes, music, dance, and performance and presentation.

those are just my initial impressions and observations. i'm sure lots of great writing has been done on this topic.

 

[joyfulgirl]

i love Drag Queens and have never laughed harder than i do at the few drag shows i've seen.

I have never laughed harder in my life than I did at a John Kelly (Joni Mitchell impersonator) performance. I guess that's different than a drag show but it just popped into my head for the first time in years. If you ever get a chance to see him, go. I nearly died laughing but you might have to know every nuance of Joni's singing style to really appreciate it.

/end random comment

 

[echo0001]

the genesis of homophobia?

there's a long answer and a short answer.

short: we fear difference, and i think it's rather natural to find a sexual act that is not to your liking unappealing, if not disgusting. there are some sex acts that i am totally uninterested in, so i understand where a straight men would find the idea of two men having sex gross (yet, they seem to like "lesbians" making out). however, there's a huge difference between finding something gross, and claiming that something is "wrong" or "immoral" simply because the Bible tells you so (and then plead innocence to bigotry because, golly gosh, it's not me saying it, it's the Bible!!!) this is then combined with the idea that all gay men are simpering, limp-wristed half-men (i.e., essentially female), so i'd almost say that homophobia is rooted more in misogyny and sexism than anything else, the idea that femininity is at its core inferior to masculinity. and there's also the idea that one can "turn" gay, which means, in essence, to be feminized -- hence the use of anal rape by men on men in war or otherwise as a means of subjugation.

'The idea that feminity is at its core inferior to masculinity' is one that every woman can understand; we live with that one from the second we are born to the day we die, much to the anger of many of us. If men wished to understand one of the many reasons women can be so hard on men ('men are pigs', etc.) they need look no farther than this. Women are sick and tired of being devalued, patronized and denegrated just for lacking a bit of anatomy.

And as you say, it also ties into homophobia.

long: it's challenging for people to imagine that a different way of being human is not only acceptable, but as good as how they understand themselves. also, the "value," i think, gay people bring to the human family is to prove that we can and do exist beyond our capacity to reproduce. that's also a scary notion, especially if you root your worldview in a sort of God-Country-Family mindset. a huge discussion could follow, but the essence of it is simple.

The sort of people who carry the God-Country--Family mindset do not automatically hate/devalue a straight man or woman who, for strictly medical reasons, is even less likely to reproduce than a gay man or lesbian woman. Of course that's just another sign of the mental laziness of these people; they wouldn't even recognize their own strange double standard there.

I do believe that, very simply, people who are homophobic have very closed, rigid minds and cannot (or choose not to) deal with difference, diversity, unconvention, ambiguity, and complexity.

Or have simply been steeped all their lives in the intellectual laziness of society--don't think about what we do, just do as we do. Conform, and don't ask why.

As much as we may try, some people just will not/cannot be taught to think for themselves.

as for America ... on a global scale, our society is verant. i'd be beheaded in Saudi Aery tolrabia, stoned to death in Afghanistan, and jailed in Egypt. American cities are great places to be gay, as urban Americans are as sophistocated and accepting of diversity as anyone else on earth. the probablem with more rural parts of America -- yes, forgive me for stereotyping, but we're speaking in broad strokes here -- is that 1) you can move to a town where you do not have to deal with people who are different from yourself, so you never have to encounter anyone who isn't a white Christian hetero, so it's easy to deamonize those who are different, and 2) there's no quesiton that Christianity is more important to the fabric of American life than it is to our Western counterparts in Europe and Australia; sadly, many churches and politicians have used Christianist homophobic bigotry -- to the point where it seems as if the Bible is nothing more than an anti-gay pamphlet -- in order to mobilize their masses to get to the voting booth. its' really no different than how racism was used to convert, post 1968, racist Dixiecrats into Republicans.

I believe conformity and fear of being the outsider also have a part in this. I grew up, and now live, in rural America. In places like this if you are different or think differently than the majority, you are the outsider, the weird one, singled out; and in a small town, there is no escape from a label. This is why homosexual teens have a rough time in rural areas, of course.

But trust me when I tell you that anyone who holds an idea contrary to the majority opinion is in almost as rough a place, especially during adolescence. I suspect that peer pressure in such places is enough to encourage many people, in youth, to stop considering different ideas, like maybe gays aren't the soldiers of satan (or whatever the term is this week.)

So, it's not just that you can remain fully insultated 'among your own kind' in rural areas. It's that the shoulder-to-shoulder atmosphere of small towns encourages, and sometimes forces conformity on those who can't or won't leave, until their minds become so petrified that they are no longer capable of considering a new idea.

BTW, thanks for your answer! It was really a great idea to start this thread, and you're very generous to take the time to answer our questions. Round of applause for you.

 

[Irvine511]

 

[karmic_postmark]

if we could meld larry's face and body, Bono's charisma, Edge's brain, and Adam's willy -- a perfect man you'd have.

 

[LadyRhia]

Originally posted by Irvine511

if we could meld larry's face and body, Bono's charisma, Edge's brain, and Adam's willy -- a perfect man you'd have.

Hey now what's wrong with the other boy's willies?? huh

 

[Irvine511]

Hey now what's wrong with the other boy's willies?? huh

i've only ever seen Adam's willy, on the cover of achtung baby.

the others, i cannot speak for.

though i wonder if there are some PLEBA people who haven't got some very interesting pix out there ...

 

[LadyRhia]

i've only ever seen Adam's willy, on the cover of achtung baby.

the others, i cannot speak for.

though i wonder if there are some PLEBA people who haven't got some very interesting pix out there ...

Well true...But if I had to guess from pics then..

Wouldnt those pics to be to die for,but imagination sometimes can be more exciting,dont you think

 

[Irvine511]

a friend of mine just wrote this to me, and i thought it was very, very interesting and a great way of putting a human face on the whole marriage equality debate:



"$748. That is how much money I just "paid" the federal government. Now, normally I'm not the kind of person who complains about paying taxes. Sure, I'd love to keep all the money I make, but all the money I make is not mine to keep. There are lots of benefits that I receive just by being an American, and there are many Americans who are just as deserving who benefit from the programs our tax dollars fund. This tax money is money I can afford to let go, and if others need it, who am I to make a claim?

This past year I have been working my butt off. I have taken almost a dozen trips, talked to hundreds of people, met with PhDs, Directors, Captains and Majors in the Army, been on a zillion planes in a zillion cities in a zillion airports. I have worked hard. I have enjoyed my work and I have been compensated with a bonus because of it. I deserved that bonus and the raise I got, but I did not deserve the hit of the federal government taking $748 of my dollars away.

Why, you might ask?

Well, also in the last year I got married. And because I married a woman, I *had* to get married in Massachusetts. Yes, it is where I live, so it was no real hardship, but because it is something only this state allows me to do, my rights and responsibilities associated with being married end when I cross any state line. When either of us visits our families in NY, we are technically not married, and when we go for emergency hospital room visits in Rochester, we are not married. When we go to our favorite beach in Rhode Island, we are not married. When we talk about buying a house, we have to look in Mass. because living anywhere else means we are not married. When we paid our federal income tax this year, we were not married. We did not receive any of the federal benefits of every straight married couple in this country.

So here I am, traveling the country for work, recruiting people to go to school to become social workers with a focus on the Army and social workers to provide services to those coming back from war, and I am not a full citizen. No, I do not belong to the armed services. In fact, they would kick me out if I was. But I spend my days giving something back to this country. I spent time away from my family and home to do this work. It's time this country give me what I deserve, too. And if not, at least give me back my fucking money."

 

[u2bonogirl]

wow. that sounds really unfair to me

I have a really dumb question, and I dont remember it being asked before so here goes.
Is it possible, if a man is attracted to other men, and he himself is attractive to actually find himself to be a turn on?
I know that sounds kind of weird but Im really wondering

 

[dandy]

 

[XHendrix24]

I have a really dumb question, and I dont remember it being asked before so here goes.
Is it possible, if a man is attracted to other men, and he himself is attractive to actually find himself to be a turn on?
I know that sounds kind of weird but Im really wondering

Well, I'm perfectly straight, but I find myself incredibly handsome as well as a major turn-on.

 

[LadyRhia]

a friend of mine just wrote this to me, and i thought it was very, very interesting and a great way of putting a human face on the whole marriage equality debate:



"$748. That is how much money I just "paid" the federal government. Now, normally I'm not the kind of person who complains about paying taxes. Sure, I'd love to keep all the money I make, but all the money I make is not mine to keep. There are lots of benefits that I receive just by being an American, and there are many Americans who are just as deserving who benefit from the programs our tax dollars fund. This tax money is money I can afford to let go, and if others need it, who am I to make a claim?

This past year I have been working my butt off. I have taken almost a dozen trips, talked to hundreds of people, met with PhDs, Directors, Captains and Majors in the Army, been on a zillion planes in a zillion cities in a zillion airports. I have worked hard. I have enjoyed my work and I have been compensated with a bonus because of it. I deserved that bonus and the raise I got, but I did not deserve the hit of the federal government taking $748 of my dollars away.

Why, you might ask?

Well, also in the last year I got married. And because I married a woman, I *had* to get married in Massachusetts. Yes, it is where I live, so it was no real hardship, but because it is something only this state allows me to do, my rights and responsibilities associated with being married end when I cross any state line. When either of us visits our families in NY, we are technically not married, and when we go for emergency hospital room visits in Rochester, we are not married. When we go to our favorite beach in Rhode Island, we are not married. When we talk about buying a house, we have to look in Mass. because living anywhere else means we are not married. When we paid our federal income tax this year, we were not married. We did not receive any of the federal benefits of every straight married couple in this country.

So here I am, traveling the country for work, recruiting people to go to school to become social workers with a focus on the Army and social workers to provide services to those coming back from war, and I am not a full citizen. No, I do not belong to the armed services. In fact, they would kick me out if I was. But I spend my days giving something back to this country. I spent time away from my family and home to do this work. It's time this country give me what I deserve, too. And if not, at least give me back my fucking money."

Thank you for posting this.So wrong....

 

[Irvine511]

wow. that sounds really unfair to me

I have a really dumb question, and I dont remember it being asked before so here goes.
Is it possible, if a man is attracted to other men, and he himself is attractive to actually find himself to be a turn on?
I know that sounds kind of weird but Im really wondering

actually, that's not a dumb question at all.

for me, i would never look at my naked self in the mirror and get aroused. i don't know anyone who would.

however, what i do think can happen, is because you possess, as it were, what you desire sexually (and not just genitalia, but the whole male form), i think this can often show itself in the somewhat obsessive gay male hygene and fitness regime. most gay men are, firstly, very well groomed, and more often than not, in very good shape. it's kind of odd -- whenever i leave DC, or any urban area with a significant gay population, i find myself thinking, "where did all these fat people come from? and just who told them that wearing tapered jeans was a good idea?!?!?!"

i mean that with humor and love, but there's a kernal of truth there. some of this has to do with being urban. i would say that one of the more obvious traits of the urban dwellers of most of the major cities is that, 1) people tend to be much thinner, and 2) people tend to spend more time and money being in style and looking their best.

this is not to say that looking good is, in and of itself, a virtue; however, i do think the urban lifestyle, which often involves lots of walking, is a generally good thing.

now, if we could just do something about the air quality ...

 

[Irvine511]

at one point, someone asked about what famous people were gay. i came across this list, which i'll post below, but it's important to note that these are people who might not have identified as gay, but they were known to have same-sex experiences, or perhaps were closeted, or perhaps were bisexual. essentially, these are people claimed by the BGL community (Bi, Gay, Lesbian) as members of the "family":



Alexander the Great
*Macedonian Ruler, 300 B.C.
Socrates
*Greek Philosopher, 400 B.C.
Sappho
*Greek Woman Poet, 600 B.C.
Hadrian
*Roman Emperor, 1st-2nd c.
Richard the Lionhearted
*English King, 12th c.
Saladin
*Sultan of Egypt and Syria
Desiderius Erasmus
*Dutch Monk, Philosopher
Francis Bacon
*English statesman, author
Frederick the Great
*King of Prussia
Lord Byron
*English poet, 18th c.
Walt Whitman
*U.S. poet, author, 19th c.
Oscar Wilde
*Irish author, 19th c.
Marcel Proust
*French author, 20th c.
Colette
*French author, 20th c.
Gertrude Stein
*U.S. poet, author, 20th c.
Alice B. Toklas
*U.S. author, 20th c.
Federico Garcia Lorca
*Spanish author, 20th c.
Cole Porter
*U.S. composer, 20th c.
Virginia Woolf
*English author, 20th c.
Leonard Bernstein
*U.S. composer, 20th c.
Pope Julius III
*1550-1555
T.E. Lawrence
*English soldier, author, 20th c.
Jean Cocteau
*French writer, director, 20th c.
Charles Laughton
*English actor, 20th c.
Marguerite Yourcenar
*Belgian author, 20th c.
Tennessee Williams
*U.S. Playwright, 20th c.
James Baldwin
*U.S. author, 20th c.
Andy Warhol
*U.S. artist, 20th c.
Michelangelo
*Italian artist, 15th c.
Leonardo Da Vinci
*Ital. Artist, scientist, 15th c.
Christopher Marlowe
*Eng. Playwright, 16th c.
Herman Melville
*U.S. author, 19th c.
Horatio Alger, Jr.
*U.S. author, 19th c.
Tchaikovsky
*Russian composer, 19th c.
Willa Cather
*U.S. author, 19th c.
Amy Lowell
*U.S. author, 19th & 20th c.
E.M. Forster
*English author, 20th c.
John M. Keynes
*English economist, 20th c.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
*Australian mathematician, 20th c.
Bessie Smith
*U.S. singer, 20th c.
Noel Coward
*English playwright, 20th c.
Christopher Isherwood
*English author, 20th c.
Pier Paolo Pasolini
*Italian film director, 20th c.
Yukio Mishima
*Japanese author, 20th c.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*U.S. stateswoman, 20th c.
Julius Caesar
*Roman Emperor, 100-44 B.C.
Augustus Caesar
*Roman Emperor
Harvey Milk
*U.S. politician, 20th c.
Bayard Rustin
*U.S. Civil Rights activist, 20th c.
James I
*English King, 16th-17th c.
Queen Anne
*English Queen, 18th c.
Marie Antoinette
*French Empress, 18th c.
Melissa Etheridge
*U.S. Rock Star, 20th c.
Pope Benedict IX
*1032-1044
May Sarton
*U.S. author, (1912 - 1995)
Edna Ferber
*U.S. author, 20th c.
Elton John
*English Rock Star, 20th c.
Margaret Fuller
*U.S. writer, educator, 20th c.
Montezuma II
*Aztec ruler, 16th c.
Peter the Great
*Russian Czar, 17th-18th c.
Langston Hughes
*U.S. author, 20th c.
Pope John XII
*955-964
Madame de Stael
*French writer, 17th-18th c.
Martina Navratilova
*U.S. tennis star, 20th c.
Greg Louganis
*U.S. Olympic swimmer, 20th c.
Billie Jean King
*U.S. tennis star, 20th c.
Roberta Achtenburg
*U.S. politician, 20th c.
Barney Frank
*U.S. Congressman, 20th c.
Gerry Studds
*U.S. Congressman, 20th c.
Hans Christian Andersen
*Danish author, 19th c.
Tom Dooley
*U.S. M.D. missionary, 20th c.
J. Edgar Hoover
*U.S. director of the FBI., 20th c.
Frida Kahlo
*Mexican artist, 20th c.
Suleiman the Magnificent
*Ottoman ruler, 15th c.
Rock Hudson
*U.S. actor, 20th c.
Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz
*Mexican author, 16th c.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
*U.S. author, 19th c.
Candace Gingrich
*Gay Rights activist, 20th c.
Margarethe Cammermeyer
*U.S. Army Colonel, 20th c.
Zoe Dunning
*U.S. Military Reservist, 20th c.
Tom Waddel
*U.S. M.D., Olympic star, 20th c.
Kate Millet
*U.S. author, 20th c.
Janis Joplin
*U.S. singer, 20th c.
Rudolf Nuryev
*Russian dancer, 20th c.
Waslaw Nijinsky
*Russian dancer, 20th c.
Ernst Röhm
*German Nazi leader, 20th c.
Dag Hammerskjold
*Swedish UN Secretary, 209th c.
Aristotle
*Greek philosopher, 384-322 B.C.
Paula Gunn Allen
*Native American author, 20th c.
Angela Davis
*U.S. political activist, 20th c.
June Jordan
*U.S. author, activist, 20th c.
Rainer Maria Rilke
*German poet, 20th c.
James Dean
*U.S. actor, 20th c.
Montgomery Clift
*U.S. actor, 20th c.
Baron VonSteuben
*German General, Valley Forge
Edward II
*English King, 14th c.

 

[financeguy]

I know it's not supposed to be a "complete" list, but isn't Michael Stipe gay? I think he said so in an interview.

 

[Irvine511]

I know it's not supposed to be a "complete" list, but isn't Michael Stipe gay? I think he said so in an interview.

as far as i know, yes. he went through an "i'm bisexual" stage, then an "i'm a queer artist" stage, and now i think he's just simply gay.

so is the singer for Husker Du -- Bob Mould.

he also lives in DC these days, sort of a cult figure.

 

[u2bonogirl]

actually, that's not a dumb question at all.

for me, i would never look at my naked self in the mirror and get aroused. i don't know anyone who would.

however, what i do think can happen, is because you possess, as it were, what you desire sexually (and not just genitalia, but the whole male form), i think this can often show itself in the somewhat obsessive gay male hygene and fitness regime. most gay men are, firstly, very well groomed, and more often than not, in very good shape. it's kind of odd -- whenever i leave DC, or any urban area with a significant gay population, i find myself thinking, "where did all these fat people come from? and just who told them that wearing tapered jeans was a good idea?!?!?!"

i mean that with humor and love, but there's a kernal of truth there. some of this has to do with being urban. i would say that one of the more obvious traits of the urban dwellers of most of the major cities is that, 1) people tend to be much thinner, and 2) people tend to spend more time and money being in style and looking their best.

this is not to say that looking good is, in and of itself, a virtue; however, i do think the urban lifestyle, which often involves lots of walking, is a generally good thing.

now, if we could just do something about the air quality ...

Thanks for the response!
It was something I always wondered about but was afraid to ask any of my gay friends
tapered jeans

 

[u2bonogirl]

wow, I had no idea james dean was gay!
Was gregory peck on there?

 

[financeguy]

Re Edgar Hoover, hmmm, interesting. I read that he never married, lived with his mother until well into adulthood, and afterwards shared a house with one of his (male) staff. Indicative, certainly.

Plus Nixon is on record as saying that a number of people in his administrations were gay, but that may not have been referring to Hoover as such.

 

[Irvine511]

wow, I had no idea james dean was gay!
Was gregory peck on there?

i don't think Dean would have identified as gay, but he was known to have been bisexual and had relationships with men (and with women).

and if you look at Rebel W/out A Cause, there's tons of coded language in the film.

 

[Irvine511]

Re Edgar Hoover, hmmm, interesting. I read that he never married, lived with his mother until well into adulthood, and afterwards shared a house with one of his (male) staff. Indicative, certainly.

Plus Nixon is on record as saying that a number of people in his administrations were gay, but that may not have been referring to Hoover as such.

he was also a cross-dresser.

though most transvestites are usually straight, but whatever.

and let's not forget Roy Cohn!!!

 

[u2bonogirl]

i don't think Dean would have identified as gay, but he was known to have been bisexual and had relationships with men (and with women).

and if you look at Rebel W/out A Cause, there's tons of coded language in the film.

he was definitely a beautiful man
He kind of has that same "look" as jude law
The gayish look
thats not an offensive term is it?

 

[financeguy]

as far as i know, yes. he went through an "i'm bisexual" stage, then an "i'm a queer artist" stage, and now i think he's just simply gay.

so is the singer for Husker Du -- Bob Mould.

he also lives in DC these days, sort of a cult figure.

I'm not familar with the band.

On a related note: Rob Halford of Judas Priest.

Rob comes out, heavy metal world expresses shock / astonishment.

Rest of world goes - "er, yes, wasn't it obvious (given what he used to wear on stage,)"

 

[Irvine511]

he was definitely a beautiful man
He kind of has that same "look" as jude law
The gayish look
thats not an offensive term is it?

naw, not offensive.

as you can tell, i love Jude. and James as well.

though i find them more beautiful than outright sexy. for sexiness, i tend to go for the more virile types; but when we're thinking of male beauty, James and Jude are at the top of my list.

if you say someone looks "gay" because, well, they look gay, that's fine; however, to say that something is "gay" when you mean that something is "stupid" (in the 5th grade "that's so gay!" context), then that's a bit offensive. but, really, it's more embarassing for the individual who thinks that "gay" is an appropriate term for, like, a bad movie.

 

[u2bonogirl]

yeah I never understood the term "thats so gay"
What the hell does it mean?
When I say somebody looks gay I basically mean they're sort of.... pretty. male beauty
I called my fiance beautiful once and he looked at me funny
So who do you classify as virile hot?
Bono?

 

[Irvine511]

yeah I never understood the term "thats so gay"
What the hell does it mean?
When I say somebody looks gay I basically mean they're sort of.... pretty. male beauty
I called my fiance beautiful once and he looked at me funny
So who do you classify as virile hot?
Bono?

bono is sexy, in a kind of jesus-in-a-leather-jacket-look-into-my-blue-eyes-and-i-will-reveal-the-secrets-of-the-universe kind of way.

virile hot ... Russel Crowe (when he's not throwing telephones); Clive Owen; Denzel Washington; young Paul Newman; young Marlon Brando; Djimon Honsu; Bruce Willis, on occasion.

that's just a general list ... but that kind of type, and it seems that male movie stars tend to be more "pretty" than "sexy" ... in fact, i find your average man sexier, sometimes, than the sometimes otherworldly beauty of Jude Law. for me, sexiness has the possibility of accessibility, the idea that one day you could have that person, and their availability makes them that much more attractive.

 

[LadyRhia]

bono is sexy, in a kind of jesus-in-a-leather-jacket-look-into-my-blue-eyes-and-i-will-reveal-the-secrets-of-the-universe kind of way.

Yeah that just about sums it all up for me