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Old 06-04-2005, 04:52 PM   #16
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According to the FAQ of that site, I must be asexual. I have no desire to have a sexual relationship with anyone, and when I see a beautiful woman, the thought of having sex with her doesn't enter my mind.

I do rarely wish I had a wife, but my motivation for that is that I would like a companion. It is my realization that I would only want a wife for companionship and not physical intimacy that keeps me from pursuing anyone; I know it wouldn't be fair to her.
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Old 06-04-2005, 04:57 PM   #17
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Originally posted by 80sU2isBest
I do rarely wish I had a wife,
Well I don't have a wife but wish I did (and not just rarely).

As Melon said, sexuality is complex.
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Old 06-04-2005, 09:23 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by 80sU2isBest
According to the FAQ of that site, I must be asexual. I have no desire to have a sexual relationship with anyone, and when I see a beautiful woman, the thought of having sex with her doesn't enter my mind.

I do rarely wish I had a wife, but my motivation for that is that I would like a companion. It is my realization that I would only want a wife for companionship and not physical intimacy that keeps me from pursuing anyone; I know it wouldn't be fair to her.
Well, I have seen asexual "personal ads" online, so there are other people out there with your exact interests in the world.

It's all a matter of seeking out the right person.

Melon
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Old 06-04-2005, 10:09 PM   #19
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I appreciate that, but back in the 90s, I had a very strange experience with the whole "blind date" phenomena - enough to make me never want to do that again.

I'm really okay with not having anyone, I hardly ever even think about. Every once in a long while, however, it gets me. But it's nothing more serious than a minor case of gas.
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Old 06-04-2005, 10:34 PM   #20
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I find the use of the word asexual to be interesting... in that it has not always been a valid term (biologically speaking) to describe those who innately abstain from sex. Of course, this is due to the lack of understanding and study with regards to sexual orienation on the part of the scientific community (in the past). Traditionally, those without desire for sexual activity would be more accurately referred to as nonsexuals, in order to avoid the connotation of a self-propagating fecund. Asexual would more aptly categorize those with a lack of genitalia, not necessarily those with a lack of desire.

Since sexual orientation is now being understood to a greater extent as a biologically driven expression, the word asexual can be used with less confusion... if a biological determinant is theorized as the cause for the identity of "sexless", they can be known as asexual.

Yes. Semantics is fun.
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Old 06-04-2005, 10:39 PM   #21
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This, whcih I have edited, written by someone at the fore-mentioned asexual site, could have been written by me - it so accurately describes my feelings in the past. It doesn't bother me as much anymore, but at one time, I felt exactly like the author.

"...Not being tied down, I have been able to jump at some opportunities for which my sexual acquaintances envied me. I have been able to change careers and continent of residence on short notice without having to consult anyone. If I get a wild desire to drive a hundred miles in the middle of the night for a sandwich, off I go. Whatever. I enjoy, and have always enjoyed, a lot more freedom and creativity in how I manage my life than any of my sexual acquaintances. Being alone, to me, is a walk in the park.

Being insignificant is another matter altogether. I have not been the most significant person in someone else’s life since I was 17. Various people for various amounts of time and various reasons have been the most significant people in my life, but I have not fulfilled that role for another person for almost 40 years. Yes, there are people who love me, who care what happens to me, on whom I can call in an emergency. But there is no one to whom I matter more than anyone else.

No matter how much I matter, someone else always matters more. No matter how much I mean to someone, someone else means more to them than I do. No matter how significant I am to others, others are more significant than I am. Socially, professionally, personally. I am never first to anyone.

Lonely? I can do lonely standing on my head. Lonely is a Sunday-school picnic. Lonely is a walk in the park. Always being less significant, less important, always mattering less than someone else, in every relationship and circumstance in life? That gets old after a few decades.
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Old 06-05-2005, 10:57 AM   #22
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Seriously sounds good to me right about now.
The kids are grown and im still young, id love to not have to answer to anyone.
Ive been weighing the pro's and con's of a single life again, it appeals to me grander every waking moment.
As far as the sex side, ive done without for many lengthy periods, in both of my marriages.
To me its getting to be more work then enjoyment because mainly i have always been the giver, its my own fault but has gotton tiresome.
I know this is a little off subject, but the 'lonely' type posts got me goin'


Is 'gotton' even a word?
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Old 06-05-2005, 12:08 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by verte76

Isn't there more to life besides sex?
exclude sex

and we are doomed
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Old 06-05-2005, 12:11 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by 80sU2isBest



No matter how much I matter, someone else always matters more. No matter how much I mean to someone, someone else means more to them than I do. No matter how significant I am to others, others are more significant than I am. Socially, professionally, personally. I am never first to anyone.



this sounds exactly

like something one of my gay friends said to me once
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Old 06-05-2005, 12:40 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by deep


exclude sex

and we are doomed
this is definitely true.
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Old 06-05-2005, 03:11 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by deep




this sounds exactly

like something one of my gay friends said to me once
I believe that. The desire to feel important, like a "special someone"is very common.
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Old 06-05-2005, 04:37 PM   #27
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I find the whole concept strange but to each his own.
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Old 06-05-2005, 06:56 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by Maggie1
I find the whole concept strange but to each his own.
The thing is that if you go to the web site and read the forum messages, you'll find that many of them feel that people who do have sexual feelings are strange.
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Old 06-05-2005, 07:24 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by 80sU2isBest
The thing is that if you go to the web site and read the forum messages, you'll find that many of them feel that people who do have sexual feelings are strange.
but they are not normal
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Old 06-05-2005, 09:42 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by deep
but they are not normal
In the strictest definition, no, they are not "normal."

But asexuality is as "natural" as homosexuality or heterosexuality. Just as same-sex acts have been reported in the animal kingdom, asexuality has also been observed in animals who should feel sexual desire. Instead, they refuse to have sex with either gender.

Melon
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