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Old 07-06-2006, 02:42 PM   #31
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If a kid is overweight, the parents are responsible to DO something. It's not going to go away on it's own. If I were a parent, I'd never say "honey you're so fat, stop eating you fatso", but something more like "honey, your weight is a serious issue that will cause major health problems later on, so I think we should together think of some ways to work on it." What would be the MOST offensive thing to do, in my opinion, would be to ignore the problem because of fear of hurting the child. To me, that's like ignoring a child who has leukemia because you're afraid how the child will react to the posibility of death. If kids are sick, you HELP them. If doctors are not telling parents the risks their children are in because they don't want to appear insensitive, that's malpractice.

Anorexia and bulemia are not caused by people saying girls are fat and need to lose weight. These are severe psychological disorders focusing on control; weight loss is incidental to the actual problem. Just my two cents.
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Old 07-06-2006, 02:51 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511


i am saying that a lack of tact and sensitivity on the part of doctors and parents can lead a child to develop an eating disorder. of course a child needs to know his health is at risk, but as joyfulgirl has pointed out, it needs to be handled with extreme care and it isn't as simple as "you have the flu" or even "you have cancer" since it is tied up in behavior and social expectations, implicit in the diagnosis of obesity is condemnation and judgement, pretty much telling someone they are ugly (since in our society, fat = ugly). i get really upset when we start to think that what's best for a kid is brutal honesty, something akin to those trashy talk shows where they bring on a kid who's a pain in the ass and swears and dispresects his/her parents and then they send that kid to boot camp and the kid gets yelled at and made to do push-ups and starts to cry while the drill sargent kicks dirt in their face and the audience cheers and totally gets off on the comeuppance that little shit deserved.

there are good ways and bad ways to do this, and i would imagine a skilled, sensitive peditrician would know what to do.
Very well said! I had an eating disorder several years ago, and I completely agree with what you posted.

My friends knew what was going on with me, and intervened. They were honest about everything, but they approached me with concern and love, and that was the best thing anyone's ever done for me. If someone had come up to me and accused me harshly of having an eating disorder, I would have vehemently denied it. Thanks to the support and encouragement of my friends and family, I was able to overcome the disorder.
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Old 07-06-2006, 02:56 PM   #33
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there shouldn't have to be nagging or telling a child he/she is obese..its the parents job to make sure they eat right.
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Old 07-06-2006, 03:30 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
If a kid is overweight, the parents are responsible to DO something. It's not going to go away on it's own. If I were a parent, I'd never say "honey you're so fat, stop eating you fatso", but something more like "honey, your weight is a serious issue that will cause major health problems later on, so I think we should together think of some ways to work on it." What would be the MOST offensive thing to do, in my opinion, would be to ignore the problem because of fear of hurting the child. To me, that's like ignoring a child who has leukemia because you're afraid how the child will react to the posibility of death. If kids are sick, you HELP them. If doctors are not telling parents the risks their children are in because they don't want to appear insensitive, that's malpractice.

Anorexia and bulemia are not caused by people saying girls are fat and need to lose weight. These are severe psychological disorders focusing on control; weight loss is incidental to the actual problem. Just my two cents.
Perfectly sums up my opinions on the subjects at hand.
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Old 07-06-2006, 04:01 PM   #35
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I prefer to call out "Hey Fatboy" or "Hey Fatty Fat Fat".
"Hey - At Risk of Being Overweight Kid" just doesn't flow right. It totally ruins the moment.
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Old 07-06-2006, 04:24 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
If a kid is overweight, the parents are responsible to DO something. It's not going to go away on it's own. If I were a parent, I'd never say "honey you're so fat, stop eating you fatso", but something more like "honey, your weight is a serious issue that will cause major health problems later on, so I think we should together think of some ways to work on it." What would be the MOST offensive thing to do, in my opinion, would be to ignore the problem because of fear of hurting the child. To me, that's like ignoring a child who has leukemia because you're afraid how the child will react to the posibility of death. If kids are sick, you HELP them. If doctors are not telling parents the risks their children are in because they don't want to appear insensitive, that's malpractice.

Anorexia and bulemia are not caused by people saying girls are fat and need to lose weight. These are severe psychological disorders focusing on control; weight loss is incidental to the actual problem. Just my two cents.
Well said.
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Old 07-06-2006, 04:32 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic

Anorexia and bulemia are not caused by people saying girls are fat and need to lose weight. These are severe psychological disorders focusing on control; weight loss is incidental to the actual problem. Just my two cents.
This is very true. And yet every woman I know who had anorexia as a teen (and sadly, I know quite a few) say they were harshly criticized by their parents for many reasons, their weight being one of them.

But I agree with all you've said (including the parts I didn't quote here).
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Old 07-06-2006, 04:46 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
If a kid is overweight, the parents are responsible to DO something. It's not going to go away on it's own.

Anorexia and bulemia are not caused by people saying girls are fat and need to lose weight. These are severe psychological disorders focusing on control; weight loss is incidental to the actual problem. Just my two cents.
Very true!

Quote:
Originally posted by joyfulgirl
This is very true. And yet every woman I know who had anorexia as a teen (and sadly, I know quite a few) say they were harshly criticized by their parents for many reasons, their weight being one of them.


The sick thing is that our culture puts way too much emphasis on unattainable visions of what being beautiful really is. There were many reasons why I fell into this trap, but definitely the media portrayal of what they believe a beautiful woman should look like, along with criticism from my mother about my weight contributed to my distorted thinking. But as Lies pointed out in her post, there were other psychological issues and circumstances affecting me at the time that started it all.
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Old 07-06-2006, 05:37 PM   #39
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I would think that's one reason girls develop anorexia as well-harsh criticism from parents usually creates perfectionism, which is usually a trait of anorexia.


In general I think parents need to be sensitive with kids and self image-that's part of the job description. I know from my own experience what it's like to be constantly criticized by parents and to not receive enough praise. I would rather have an obese or overweight child than one who is depressed to the point of being suicidal because of what some parents have said and done or haven't said and done. You need to deal with weight and self-image in a sensitive and loving manner. Weight can also be a hereditary and genetic issue.
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Old 07-06-2006, 06:35 PM   #40
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I’m not sure anyone is suggesting that we be mean to overweight children, but when we back away from the self-esteem alter and begin to deal honestly with situations? Why continue feeding the self image beast by downplaying (or sugar coating) serious health concerns? Lies summed up this aspect well here:

Quote:
Anorexia and bulemia are not caused by people saying girls are fat and need to lose weight. These are severe psychological disorders focusing on control; weight loss is incidental to the actual problem.
Loving someone sometimes means telling them something they don’t want to hear. And it can, and should, be done in a loving way. And between parents and children, it is an ongoing process. Your kids don’t wake up one day overweight – you watch what they do and what they eat every day.
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Old 07-06-2006, 06:53 PM   #41
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Anorexia and bulimia are not caused by people saying girls are fat and need to lose weight. These are severe psychological disorders focusing on control; weight loss is incidental to the actual problem.
I know I've been through this before but I respectfully disagree.

Body image issues can and do lead to eating disorders. Weight loss is not always incidental.
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Old 07-06-2006, 07:03 PM   #42
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I was just thumbing through today's New York Times and came across this relevant op-ed piece from Dr. Andrew Weil. Apparently it's not just the parents that need to be educated but medical professionals as well. The problem runs so deep in American society it's hard to know where to begin.

July 6, 2006
Op-Ed Contributor
Surgery With a Side of Fries
By ANDREW WEIL

Tucson

FOUR years ago, a group of researchers at the University of Michigan conducted a survey of hospitals and found that 4 out of 10 had fast food restaurants on their premises. Today, I'm afraid, that number can only have gone up — judging by how often I and my colleagues cringe at the sight of new burger and pizza places in medical centers.

With the obesity epidemic in America getting more attention every day, nutrition experts tell us we exercise too little, eat too much and eat too much of the wrong kinds of food. What are the wrong kinds of food? We are constantly told to cut back on fat and sugar, but to my mind the greater problem is the processed food that, over the past 50 years, has increasingly displaced whole, natural food in the American diet. The proliferation of fast food is a glaring example of that change.

Modern food technology has transformed slow-digesting grains into snack foods made of pulverized, refined starches that, once eaten, quickly raise blood sugar, promoting insulin resistance and weight gain in genetically susceptible individuals — most of us, unfortunately. We have invented high-fructose corn syrup, a cheap sweetener that is ubiquitous in soft drinks and most of the sweetened products in supermarkets and convenience stores. And we have processed oil-rich seeds into chemically altered fats that can promote inflammation, heart disease and cancer.

All three of these products abound in fast food, one of America's worst contributions to world culture and cuisine. As the movie "Super Size Me" pointed out, the increasing availability and popularity of fast food is a major cause of obesity and declining health. How remarkable, then, that our hospitals would house fast food restaurants. Hospital administrators apparently like them as a source of revenue and a draw for employees, visitors and even patients. A year and a half ago, when the head of the Cleveland Clinic bravely tried to get rid of the McDonald's at that hospital, staff members and visitors made it clear they liked having the franchise close by. (McDonald's pointed to the 10 years left on its lease and refused to budge.)

Expelling fast food from hospitals is an obvious step to better health, but suggest it and you run into the same tangle of inertia and apathy that has kept hospitals from serving patients appetizing and wholesome food — and has instead allowed large food service corporations to put profit ahead of quality. I hold my profession responsible for much of the apathy. Nutrition is slighted in medical education. It is considered a "soft" subject akin to home economics, not worthy of the time and attention commanded by important fields like biochemistry and pharmacology.

We must have nutritionally literate doctors, but getting fast food out of hospitals will also require the kind of grassroots activism that has removed sugary sodas and candy from vending machines in many schools. Doctors should model healthy lifestyles for their patients, and hospitals should be places of inspiration and education as well as centers for the treatment of disease. Fast food has no place in them.

Andrew Weil, the director of the integrative medicine program at the University of Arizona College of Medicine, is the author, most recently, of "Healthy Aging."
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Old 07-06-2006, 07:04 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally posted by WildHoneyAlways


I know I've been through this before but I respectfully disagree.

Body image issues can and do lead to eating disorders. Weight loss is not always incidental.


having known far too many women who have dealt with this, i concur with the above. i do think unrealistic body image types contribute directly to eating disorders -- i think personality type and the need for control simply makes whichever individual more successful at the performance of her disorder.
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Old 07-06-2006, 07:04 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by WildHoneyAlways


I know I've been through this before but I respectfully disagree.

Body image issues can and do lead to eating disorders. Weight loss is not always incidental.
absolutely.

It's true that it's a control issue but there are often reasons people choose weight as the thing they need to control . Being told you're fat could be one of them. If you have the underlying psychological component and the environment pushes that button. You end up with eating issues.

Weight loss isn't incidental it becomes the sole focus of the disorder. Watching the numbers...
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Old 07-06-2006, 10:56 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally posted by WildHoneyAlways


I know I've been through this before but I respectfully disagree.

Body image issues can and do lead to eating disorders. Weight loss is not always incidental.
I agree. We can all state cases or personal experiences with them which are legitimate eating disorders, but not about control or simply disordered eating. About 15 years ago there was approximately 17 ways to have anorexia. I dont know whether the figure has shrunk or expanded since, but it encompasses many many issues both underlying and not.
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