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Old 11-16-2005, 03:43 PM   #1
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Abuse Or Just "Teaching A Lesson"?

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2005/11/16/D8DTOAD8D.html

EDMOND, Okla.

Tasha Henderson got tired of her 14-year-old daughter's poor grades, her chronic lateness to class and her talking back to her teachers, so she decided to teach the girl a lesson.

She made Coretha stand at a busy Oklahoma City intersection Nov. 4 with a cardboard sign that read: "I don't do my homework and I act up in school, so my parents are preparing me for my future. Will work for food."

"This may not work. I'm not a professional," said Henderson, a 34- year-old mother of three. "But I felt I owed it to my child to at least try."

In fact, Henderson has seen a turnaround in her daughter's behavior in the past week and a half. But the punishment prompted letters and calls to talk radio from people either praising the woman or blasting her for publicly humiliating her daughter.


I have to agree w/ the professor, there must be better more effective means of discipline w/ out humiliating a child in that way. She might get her desired results, but at what price? I don't have kids but I know how it feels to be humiliated by a parent, it hurts so much and it affects you still as an adult.
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Old 11-16-2005, 03:50 PM   #2
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There is a significant dynamic missing from the story. Was the punishment done for the benefit of the mother (release anger, revenge, etc.) or for the benefit of the daughter? Harsh punishment can be conducted in a loving way - such that the recipient knows the reason for the punishment and what the parent is trying to accomplish.
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Old 11-16-2005, 03:57 PM   #3
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Maybe it's for the benefit of the mother in that doing something like that is easier for her than trying to find another method. I know I have no right to judge because I don't have kids, but this just makes me cringe and feel sorry for that girl.

Maybe the mother could have consulted a professional before resorting to such a public method that was humiliating for her daughter.
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:05 PM   #4
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Public humiliation is a hell alot better than a beating......

could have been worse.
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:20 PM   #5
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Well I had both, I'd rather have a beating than emotional abuse. The scars heal much quicker from a beating. Don't get me wrong - I definitely don't condone beating a child, just completely wrong in my opinion. Physical discipline in my view just creates anger, resentment/hatred and fear-do parents want kids to behave because they're afraid of them?

Could have been worse doesn't make it right
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:26 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
Well I had both, I'd rather have a beating than emotional abuse. The scars heal much quicker from a beating. Don't get me wrong - I definitely don't condone beating a child, just completely wrong in my opinion. Physical discipline in my view just creates anger, resentment/hatred and fear-do parents want kids to behave because they're afraid of them?

Could have been worse doesn't make it right
I've had both too. I didn't say this was "right" but I doubt this will lead to emotional scarring, in my opinion this is different that telling a child he/she is a no good little bastard and get the hell outta my sight.

I don't know
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:26 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
Well I had both, I'd rather have a beating than emotional abuse. The scars heal much quicker from a beating. Don't get me wrong - I definitely don't condone beating a child, just completely wrong in my opinion. Physical discipline in my view just creates anger, resentment/hatred and fear-do parents want kids to behave because they're afraid of them?

Could have been worse doesn't make it right
That's basically what McCain said in that article on torture--in explaining why mock executions should be considered torture he said that he'd choose a beating over a mock execution because the emotional scars from the latter are lasting.

I think this is horrible. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned deprivation of entertainment. No more TV, internet, CDs, dates until grades and punctuality improve. I don't know, I'm not a parent, I don't know what works, but public humiliation sure as hell doesn't. Oh sure, there may be some immediate improvement because the kid is terrified of being further humiliated but it doesn't mean it's a healthy situation.
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:31 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by joyfulgirl


That's basically what McCain said in that article on torture--in explaining why mock executions should be considered torture he said that he'd choose a beating over a mock execution because the emotional scars from the latter are lasting.

I didn't even think of that but that is a great point, and I agree w/ you about the 'old fashioned' kind of punishment. Yes, the child is in all likelihood behaving merely due to fear of further humiliation. What point is there to that ultimately, and what scars does it leave on the child that might affect the relationship w/ the parent later in life? That might destroy it?
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:36 PM   #9
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If the kid is really all that defiant, I wonder what kinds of threats she had to level to get her to stand in that intersection to begin with.
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:40 PM   #10
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Sounds like the child wants to act like a belligerent adult. How far do you go to break the behavior? I'm not sure there is as much emotional scarring as we might expect.

And I'm not sure the "old fashion" punishments work all the time. Take away a child's television, computer or cell phone and they will find some other way to get back at the parent. One of my employees is facing a similar situation with her 14-year old son.
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:43 PM   #11
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The failure of the child to do homework pales
in comparison to the adult’s complete failure in parenting skills.



Now we have a child that has not done homework, for whatever reason, we do not know.

But we do know this child is completely alienated from a person
that is supposed to love, nurture and care for them.

How terribly sad.
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:48 PM   #12
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I tend to agree w/ that deep, and I think if a parent continues that kind of "discipline", every time chips away little by little at your soul and your psyche. What is left then?
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:49 PM   #13
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How can you jump to that conclusion? Or place all the blame on the mother's parenting skills?

For all we know, this is a single mom who cannot regulate all the influences in this child's life. Hell, watch a few hours of television and a child will be taught its okay to "talk back" to adults.
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:51 PM   #14
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Yes I understand completely that it must be so difficult for her being a single Mom, but there is help out there- professional and otherwise.
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Old 11-17-2005, 10:04 AM   #15
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I don't think this action will lead to a better behaviour of the girl...
And maybe the relations between mom & daughter will be completely ruined because of this.

I think it's quite normal that a 14 year old girl acts like a mad.. you know, rebel period and so on..

Of course, there's a limit. But don't think humiliation will solve anything.

I don't know what I would have done if I were in the mother's shoes...

But I am quite sure I don't have the cruelty (and imagination!) of taking my daughter on an intersection with a sign.

Frustration can make you do the most crazy things.. I know it.
But problems never can be solved with exagerations!
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