In the United States, politicians discuss Afghanistan, Iraq, the overall war on terrorism, gun control, gun ownership, abortion, partisanship, social security, tort reform, electoral reform, Medicare, unemployment, immigration, deficits/debt, Jesus, liberal media, conservative media, missile defence…
In Canada, politicians discuss polygamy, pizza shop discussions involving the minister of immigration, sex trade transactions involving the minister of immigration, and Stephen Harper’s haircut.
When real issues emerge, such as health care, health care, and health care, Canadian politicians are always quick to address the issue.
Overall, Canadian politicians tend to let contentious matters solve themselves.
“Kyoto? We’ll sign it, and hope the hippies do all the work for us!”
“Gay marriage? Well, send it to the Supreme Court, I don’t want to deal with it right now. Wait, they’ve almost reached a decision? Crap. Add another question. Ok, they’re finished? Hmm. Can we get another election out of this thing? No, damn. Ah, what does the current public opinion poll say?…”
“Border protection? Our side is the safe side!”
“Mad cow? You guys got it all wrong. The cows were depressed, not mad. Understand? Oh, really, you’ll buy some, awesome! Excuse me, my friend here has something to say in private. WHAT?! Ah, ah, nothing. Calm down. But, uh, apparently, the cows have regressed into depression. Let’s continue this discussion over the next three years.”
“Ontario, Ontario needs more money? Haha, we’ll just take more from them! Dumb bastards.”
“Native land claims, hmm. Ok, we’ll agree to it, where should we sign? You know, once we‘re done, we’ll have to get the courts to conform the signature.”
“He took down the flag? Our nation’s flag? That doesn’t sound good. Oh, he’s from Quebec.”
“He took down the flag? Our nation’s flag? That doesn’t sound good. Newfoundland? Ah, it’s cold there, I don’t want to make a trip. What does he want?”
“If it’s snowing in Ottawa, you know what that means! The military should be arriving in Toronto any minute now.”
“Alberta, Alberta needs money? No, I didn’t think so.”
“The federal government has not forgotten about British Columbia. It’s just kinda left of everything, if you know what I mean.”
“Canada is more than one territory? Oh, you mean we have more than one territory. But there’s only one Canada, how could we possible have more?”
“Poutine, or French fries with cheese and gravy. I just don’t know.”
In Canada, politicians discuss polygamy, pizza shop discussions involving the minister of immigration, sex trade transactions involving the minister of immigration, and Stephen Harper’s haircut.
When real issues emerge, such as health care, health care, and health care, Canadian politicians are always quick to address the issue.
Overall, Canadian politicians tend to let contentious matters solve themselves.
“Kyoto? We’ll sign it, and hope the hippies do all the work for us!”
“Gay marriage? Well, send it to the Supreme Court, I don’t want to deal with it right now. Wait, they’ve almost reached a decision? Crap. Add another question. Ok, they’re finished? Hmm. Can we get another election out of this thing? No, damn. Ah, what does the current public opinion poll say?…”
“Border protection? Our side is the safe side!”
“Mad cow? You guys got it all wrong. The cows were depressed, not mad. Understand? Oh, really, you’ll buy some, awesome! Excuse me, my friend here has something to say in private. WHAT?! Ah, ah, nothing. Calm down. But, uh, apparently, the cows have regressed into depression. Let’s continue this discussion over the next three years.”
“Ontario, Ontario needs more money? Haha, we’ll just take more from them! Dumb bastards.”
“Native land claims, hmm. Ok, we’ll agree to it, where should we sign? You know, once we‘re done, we’ll have to get the courts to conform the signature.”
“He took down the flag? Our nation’s flag? That doesn’t sound good. Oh, he’s from Quebec.”
“He took down the flag? Our nation’s flag? That doesn’t sound good. Newfoundland? Ah, it’s cold there, I don’t want to make a trip. What does he want?”
“If it’s snowing in Ottawa, you know what that means! The military should be arriving in Toronto any minute now.”
“Alberta, Alberta needs money? No, I didn’t think so.”
“The federal government has not forgotten about British Columbia. It’s just kinda left of everything, if you know what I mean.”
“Canada is more than one territory? Oh, you mean we have more than one territory. But there’s only one Canada, how could we possible have more?”
“Poutine, or French fries with cheese and gravy. I just don’t know.”
