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Old 06-23-2007, 02:27 AM   #61
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FSH raised the point that the age of consent is in fact 16, though by the sounds of things, I have my doubts this guy kept his hands off her prior to her 16th birthday. And I was under the impression that some limitations are placed on 16 and 17 year olds even when the age of consent is 16?

Quote:
Originally posted by randhail
was this guy actually her teacher or just her coach? because from the article it sounded like he was just her coach - if so, while not making it right, it would not be as bad as a teacher getting together with a student.
Whether he's a coach or a teacher, he's still in a position of authority, so I don't think it changes things much, if at all. And I don't know how things work in the States, but all the sporting coaches at the schools I attended in New Zealand and Australia were qualified teachers.
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Old 06-23-2007, 02:32 AM   #62
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Quote:
Originally posted by randhail
was this guy actually her teacher or just her coach? because from the article it sounded like he was just her coach - if so, while not making it right, it would not be as bad as a teacher getting together with a student.
Are you serious?

He is still a figure of authority, he still has the power of saying: "you have to stay with me, because if you don't I can ruin your record...". Etc...
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Old 06-23-2007, 04:35 AM   #63
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It's hard to say in this case, but...well...When I was in high school, one of the female student in my grade did something opposite.

She told the PE teacher to divorce and wait for her to reach the leagal age of marriage. The teacher refused, and she simply took him to court and said he tried to take big advantage from her. The guy lost his job, his wife, got to spend about 3 yrs behind bars. And she took her new boyfriend did the court appearance.

The PE teacher taught my class as well, and personally I think he's a nice guy. Not sure what exactly happened between them, but the girl was quite mean, IMHO.
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Old 06-23-2007, 02:28 PM   #64
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It must be dangerous to be a male teacher these days because all it takes is one accusation to really hurt your career.
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Old 06-23-2007, 10:09 PM   #65
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I actually knew a girl in high school who ran off with a guy in either his late 30s or early 40s.

She was my date ("as friends") for a school event and she ran off with him the night before the event. Nobody could find her for awhile but eventually she turned up with him. She married, they had a couple of kids and they are absolutely miserable. He is reviled by everyone who knows him (I don't know him myself, but this is from mutual friends), apparently he is a vile person and treats her like dirt. Last I heard they were still together, but they may not be now.

My wife had a close friend who had a relationship with their history teacher. They got married as well while she was in high school. They split up.

Usually people pursuing these types of relationships are pretty unhealthy emotionally, and unhealthy people don't make for great marriages.

They way all of this has come down for the coach and girl doesn't suggest a lot of maturity or emotional health on the part of either.
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Old 06-23-2007, 10:12 PM   #66
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Quote:
Originally posted by A_Wanderer
It must be dangerous to be a male teacher these days because all it takes is one accusation to really hurt your career.
You just avoid all appearance of impropriety. No hugging. Keeping a door open during a conference with a student. Stuff like that.

I've never worried too much about it, but then I've never done anything that would give me cause to worry.
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Old 06-23-2007, 11:55 PM   #67
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I think it's very different from condition to condition. Depends on not only what the teacher behave, but also the student.

Not sure if anyone here ever saw the whole grade of young girls chasing one male teacher, all the stalking, spying...etc, etc... And the school has to take him off the position not because he's not good at his job, but for his looks.

It's not necessary to have a relationship or something, but more like make a very unique impression (good or bad) and win a spot in someone's heart. Stupid teenage thing. But well... I was one of them.
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Old 06-24-2007, 05:00 AM   #68
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You have to question what a 40 yr old man wants with a 16 yr old? I mean in their photo they look like Dad and daughter. So wooooooo after all the 'we;re so naughty, im a hot stud sleeping with a 16 yr old' high has worn off on him, where doe it leave them? She wants to go to a hilary duff concert and he sits how with a beer and plays cards? does he "chaperone her" and why would she want some saggy assed old man in her bed when she could get some hot 17 year old track star?

The worst of it though is her parents giving in. If she was my daighter, i'd have kept her at home, and sent my husband and friends around to kick his fucking ass. How dare he turn their professional relationship of a trusted coach into a sneaky sms and hidden dates type thing. While i don't go into the "impressionable" route because shes not mentally retarded and knows what shes doing - i think he's a sad fuck for trying to regain his youth by marrying a 16yr old. I mean in this day and age, with society the way it is, its never going to last. This isn't the polite oldie days where young was in, or Africa where its the norm and understandable. This is a sad old fuck and a very confused girl wanting to be old before her time.

Sad sad situation
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Old 06-24-2007, 08:36 AM   #69
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Quote:
Originally posted by A_Wanderer
It must be dangerous to be a male teacher these days because all it takes is one accusation to really hurt your career.
which is why you never... EVER... allow yourself to be in a position where you are alone with a student/athlete, regardless of gender btw.

as long as you do that, it's really not that difficult.
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Old 06-24-2007, 10:48 AM   #70
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Quote:
Originally posted by A_Wanderer
It must be dangerous to be a male teacher these days because all it takes is one accusation to really hurt your career.
It's not easy being a female teacher either. A female teacher in my district a few years ago was "asked" to resign after rumors of inappropriate conduct with male students were circulated.

I think the boys are just as aggressive as the girls. I had to write a kid up this year for saying "I'd tap that" after I walked away from him in class.
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Old 06-24-2007, 04:58 PM   #71
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Even at the college level, these kinds of policies are standard...I never close my office door when meeting with a student, and neither do any of my colleagues. It really is a fairly straightforward question of appropriate professional conduct--your students are not there (and a captive audience at that) in order to supplement your social circle or dating pool.
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Old 06-24-2007, 05:01 PM   #72
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Quote:
Originally posted by yolland
Even at the college level, these kinds of policies are standard...I never close my office door when meeting with a student, and neither do any of my colleagues.
When I was still an undergrad student, this was my experience. The Profs would leave their doors open, unless you were discussing something that was confidential, like grades, etc.

But in law school, the profs almost always close the door. The only time they don't is if I drop in to chat about something that's almost more social in nature. Otherwise, the door is almost always closed, whether you are working with them on research, or going over cases or getting some pre-exam help. Then again, the average age of a first year law student is 25, so maybe we are past the point of concern about what it looks like?
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Old 06-24-2007, 08:07 PM   #73
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Are these professors who also teach undergrads, or is it a purely graduate-level program? I conduct myself the same with undergrads and grads as far as that goes, it's just an automatic habit for me that if I have a student in my office then the door stays open, period.

I suppose it's fair to say though that I do tend to view my undergrad and grad students somewhat differently in terms of how exactly I construe my relationship to them...it's less a question of "past the point of concern about what it looks like," and more a general sense that undergrads (traditional-age ones, anyhow) are not yet fully formed as personalities, a greater proportion of everyday adult stressors are still relatively new for them and in that sense they're carrying a more precariously piled-up plate psychologically, you don't expect quite as much of a professional self-directed attitude from them, and so on. That's a generalization of course, and it doesn't tie directly into whether one might date a student or not (which in any case is seldom a legal issue at this level), but I can see to a point where if I had only grad students, I might perhaps be less inclined to think in terms of the importance of things like not unwittingly ratcheting up psychological tensions or creating an 'appearance of impropriety' by closing the door.

I found it rather bizarre in the case in question that the principal apparently found nothing inappropriate in the coach's relationship to his student despite the parents' records of him exchanging text messages with her at 2 AM when she was 14 years old...
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Old 06-24-2007, 08:33 PM   #74
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Have any of you ever seen the David Mamet play Oleanna?

It was a film, too.

I say leave the door open
and have someone else in the room, if possible.
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Old 06-25-2007, 04:40 PM   #75
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Quote:
Originally posted by BluRmGrl
When they saw that to be untrue, they approached the school principal, the school board, and finally the county sherriff's office. None of these entities could find proof of any illegal activity - immoral & inappropriate perhaps, but not illegal.
As discussed upthread, while this may not have been against the law, it was clearly unethical, immoral, inappropriate, abusive, whatever you want to call it. Most professionals in positions of power (doctors, lawyers, social workers, nurses, camp counselors with 1 year age difference, even bosses within some adult working environments, and most teachers) have already committed to uphold these standards or be not only fired but stripped of their licenses. I think most schools in the country, if they found proof of "immoral and inappropirate" behavior without proof of illegal activity, would already have it within their contracts/rules/whatever (and teachers' unions too) and would have fired the guy.

I fault the parents for signing the consent, because they should have done something like pack her off to boarding school or if that was unaffordable transfer her to another school or something. But if they really did do everything they could to get the school to get rid of the coach, then the school is also majorly at fault for the progression of the relationship (with the parents being at fault for the marriage).
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