10 Is The New 15

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MrsSpringsteen

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What are the implications of all of this? Geesh it makes me feel so old when I think about what life was like for me at 10, and at 15. That quote from the doctor is very interesting, that physically they're adults but cognitively they're still children. How confusing must that be for a kid?


10 is the new 15 as kids grow up faster

By Martha Irvine, AP National WriterSun Nov 26

Zach Plante is close with his parents — he plays baseball with them and, on weekends, helps with work in the small vineyard they keep at their northern California home. Lately, though, his parents have begun to notice subtle changes in their son. Among other things, he's announced that he wants to grow his hair longer — and sometimes greets his father with "Yo, Dad!"

"Little comments will come out of his mouth that have a bit of that teen swagger," says Tom Plante, Zach's dad.

Thing is, Zach isn't a teen. He's 10 years old — one part, a fun-loving fifth-grader who likes to watch the Animal Planet network and play with his dog and pet gecko, the other a soon-to-be middle schooler who wants an iPod.

In some ways, it's simply part of a kid's natural journey toward independence. But child development experts say that physical and behavioral changes that would have been typical of teenagers decades ago are now common among "tweens" — kids ages 8 to 12.

Some of them are going on "dates" and talking on their own cell phones. They listen to sexually charged pop music, play mature-rated video games and spend time gossiping on MySpace. And more girls are wearing makeup and clothing that some consider beyond their years.

Zach is starting to notice it in his friends, too, especially the way they treat their parents.

"A lot of kids can sometimes be annoyed by their parents," he says. "If I'm playing with them at one of their houses, then they kind of ignore their parents. If their parents do them a favor, they might just say, 'OK,' but not notice that much."

The shift that's turning tweens into the new teens is complex — and worrisome to parents and some professionals who deal with children. They wonder if kids are equipped to handle the thorny issues that come with the adolescent world.

"I'm sure this isn't the first time in history people have been talking about it. But I definitely feel like these kids are growing up faster — and I'm not sure it's always a good thing," says Dr. Liz Alderman, an adolescent medicine specialist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. She's been in practice for 16 years and has noticed a gradual but undeniable change in attitude in that time.

She and others who study and treat children say the reasons it's happening are both physical and social.

Several published studies have found, for instance, that some tweens' bodies are developing faster, with more girls starting menstruation in elementary school — a result doctors often attribute to improved nutrition and, in some cases, obesity. While boys are still being studied, the findings about girls have caused some endocrinologists to lower the limits of early breast development to first or second grade.

Along with that, even young children are having to deal with peer pressure and other societal influences.

Beyond the drugs, sex and rock'n'roll their boomer and Gen X parents navigated, technology and consumerism have accelerated the pace of life, giving kids easy access to influences that may or may not be parent-approved. Sex, violence and foul language that used to be relegated to late-night viewing and R-rated movies are expected fixtures in everyday TV.

And many tweens model what they see, including common plot lines "where the kids are really running the house, not the dysfunctional parents," says Plante, who in addition to being Zach's dad is a psychology professor at Santa Clara University in California's Silicon Valley.

He sees the results of all these factors in his private practice frequently.

Kids look and dress older. They struggle to process the images of sex, violence and adult humor, even when their parents try to shield them. And sometimes, he says, parents end up encouraging the behavior by failing to set limits — in essence, handing over power to their kids.

"You get this kind of perfect storm of variables that would suggest that, yes, kids are becoming teens at an earlier age," Plante says.

Natalie Wickstrom, a 10-year-old in suburban Atlanta, says girls her age sometimes wear clothes that are "a little inappropriate." She describes how one friend tied her shirt to show her stomach and "liked to dance, like in rap videos."

Girls in her class also talk about not only liking but "having relationships" with boys.

"There's no rules, no limitations to what they can do," says Natalie, who's also in fifth grade.

Her mom, Billie Wickstrom, says the teen-like behavior of her daughter's peers, influences her daughter — as does parents' willingness to allow it.

"Some parents make it hard on those of us who are trying to hold their kids back a bit," she says.

So far, she and her husband have resisted letting Natalie get her ears pierced, something many of her friends have already done. Now Natalie is lobbying hard for a cell phone and also wants an iPod.

"Sometimes I just think that maybe, if I got one of these things, I could talk about what they talk about," Natalie says of the kids she deems the "popular ones."

It's an age-old issue. Kids want to fit in — and younger kids want to be like older kids.

But as the limits have been pushed, experts say the stakes also have gotten higher — with parents and tweens having to deal with very grown-up issues such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Earlier this year, that point hit home when federal officials recommended a vaccine for HPV — a common STD that can lead to cervical cancer — for girls as young as age 9.

"Physically, they're adults, but cognitively, they're children," says Alderman, the physician in New York. She's found that cultural influences have affected her own children, too.

Earlier this year, her 12-year-old son heard the popular pop song "Promiscuous" and asked her what the word meant.

"I mean, it's OK to have that conversation, but when it's constantly playing, it normalizes it," Alderman says.

She observes that parents sometimes gravitate to one of two ill-advised extremes — they're either horrified by such questions from their kids, or they "revel" in the teen-like behavior. As an example of the latter reaction, she notes how some parents think it's cute when their daughters wear pants or shorts with words such as "hottie" on the back.

"Believe me, I'm a very open-minded person. But it promotes a certain way of thinking about girls and their back sides," Alderman says. "A 12-year-old isn't sexy."

With grown-up influences coming from so many different angles — from peers to the Internet and TV — some parents say the trend is difficult to combat.

Claire Unterseher, a mother in Chicago, says she only allows her children — including an 8-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter — to watch public television.

And yet, already, they're coming home from school asking to download songs she considers more appropriate for teens.

"I think I bought my first Abba single when I was 13 or 14 — and here my 7-year-old wants me to download Kelly Clarkson all the time," Unterseher says. "Why are they so interested in all this adult stuff?"

Part of it, experts say, is marketing — and tweens are much-sought-after consumers.

Advertisers have found that, increasingly, children and teens are influencing the buying decisions in their households — from cars to computers and family vacations. According to 360 Youth, an umbrella organization for various youth marketing groups, tweens represent $51 billion worth of annual spending power on their own from gifts and allowance, and also have a great deal of say about the additional $170 billion spent directly on them each year.

Toymakers also have picked up on tweens' interest in older themes and developed toy lines to meet the demand — from dolls known as Bratz to video games with more violence.

Diane Levin, a professor of human development and early childhood at Wheelock College in Boston, is among those who've taken aim at toys deemed too violent or sexual.

"We've crossed a line. We can no longer avoid it — it's just so in our face," says Levin, author of the upcoming book "So Sexy So Soon: The Sexualization of Childhood."

Earlier this year, she and others from a group known as the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood successfully pressured toy maker Hasbro to drop plans for a line of children's toys modeled after the singing group Pussycat Dolls.

Other parents, including Clyde Otis III, are trying their own methods.

An attorney with a background in music publishing, Otis has compiled a line of CDs called "Music Talking" that includes classic oldies he believes are interesting to tweens, but age appropriate. Artists include Aretha Franklin, Rose Royce and Blessid Union of Souls.

"I don't want to be like a prude. But some of the stuff out there, it's just out of control sometimes," says Otis, a father of three from Maplewood, N.J.

"Beyonce singing about bouncing her butt all over the place is a little much — at least for an 8-year-old."

In the end, many parents find it tricky to strike a balance between setting limits and allowing their kids to be more independent.

Plante, in California, discovered that a few weeks ago when he and Zach rode bikes to school, as the two of them have done since the first day of kindergarten.

"You know, dad, you don't have to bike to school with me anymore," Zach said.

Plante was taken aback.

"It was a poignant moment," he says. "There was this notion of being embarrassed of having parents be too close."

Since then, Zach has been riding by himself — a big step in his dad's mind.

"Of course, it is hard to let go, but we all need to do so in various ways over time," Plante says, "as long as we do it thoughtfully and lovingly, I suppose."
 
I wonder what these kids will think of their childhoods when they grow up into actual adulthood. People in my age bracket all share a similar view that our child years were idyllic, free, filled with sport and games, no computers or anything flashy. We stayed kids until we were dragged into young adulthood. We look back fondly.
Will these kids?
 
I don't see this as a new development.
For many years now it's rather normal to see 11-12 year olds attending parties drinking way too much (that age even one beer is too much, but they don't even start with beer) and staying out long after midnight.
Young first or second graders calling you swearwords or trying to push you aside waiting for the bus are not new as well.

I myself started playing computer games or watching movies not appropiate age 7 or 8.
And in kindergarten many of the other children whose parents were equipped with sattelite dishes talked about Knight Rider and other stuff they saw every day.

I think all this leads to a faster development, and as they say it even affects the physical development of kids.

I also think it's rather disturbing to see toy companies producing toys or computer games that are more and more violent for these tweens.
 
My son is going to be 11 this winter he is a big kid and looks older than what he is. I monitor the tv, computer games, and music he listens to. I try to do so without being a tyrant. I try to get him interested in certain things without being to pushy. He is very athletic but, has already noticed girls wants the ipod and cell phone. Alot of his classmates are riding around town on their bikes already but not him....at least not yet. Its a job, to keep them from all these adult like things that are thrown their way everyday. Their attitude may be adult like, but when it comes down to it thats all thats adult about these kids...including mine. :huh:
 
Maybe they won't miss it because they'll have nothing to compare it too. I think it's sad, though. What do they have to look forward to--no rites of passage, just more of the same.

And then there will be their kids. How quickly will they grow up?
No time to reflect, to sort things out. Maybe we're romanticizing our childhoods, not completely though. We had days that went on forever. How quickly their days must go.
 
BonosSaint said:
Maybe they won't miss it because they'll have nothing to compare it too. I think it's sad, though. What do they have to look forward to--no rites of passage, just more of the same.

And then there will be their kids. How quickly will they grow up?
No time to reflect, to sort things out. Maybe we're romanticizing our childhoods, not completely though. We had days that went on forever. How quickly their days must go.


I used to remember the day taking forever to end and it seemed like I had so much time. Especially, spending my first 8 years in Brooklyn. Even my son says the day goes by so quickly...they do so much school work. He only does basketball on Saturdays at 11 right now and thats it, but he still thinks things just wiz by.
 
:eyebrow: THink of this: it's only been within the last century or so that 11 and 12 year olds weren't getting married and the like. Sometimes I think we try too hard to make sure kids have a childhood - it just doesn't freaking /end/. I think we're seeing the pendulum shift back towards the actual rate f maturation that is correct, biologically speaking.
 
The_One1932 said:
Devlin is correct, but that doesn't make it psychologicaly healthy.

Is it inherently psychologically unhealthy or only unhealthy because of the culture we live in?
 
There's a big difference, though, between giving two 14-year-olds both the responsibilities and the sexual outlet that marriage provides, and doing what we do--which is delay the responsibilities part until later, while meanwhile allowing regular exposure to sexual stimulation from late childhood on. Devoting most of your second and even third decades of life to education has the benefit of enabling a higher standard of living in later years, but it also means spending most of your youth in what is in fact a very unnatural social environment, i.e., where virtually all your peers are the exact same age. I think a lot of people spend much of their late 20s and 30s unlearning that impulse to limit their social networks to people of near-identical age and life experiences--you can get away with that while you've still got Mom and Dad supporting you, but once you don't, it gradually but inevitably becomes untenable.
BonoVoxSupastar said:
Talk about growing fast, a friend of mine's daughter had her first period a few months ago and she's only 8!
One of our son's friends invited all his classmates to his 9th birthday party a few weeks ago. I helped his parents out with overseeing the activities and noticed that a couple of the girls were already clearly developing. I felt sorry for them--girls who develop first always get extra taunting and humiliation from their classmates, and boys that age in particular are often cruelly immature in how they respond. The adults present also got a chuckle out of how the boys with the most obvious "Ewww, girls!" attitudes were unmistakably also the ones who were most preoccupied with girls at the same time.

I think one of the potentially more problematic consequences of cellphones, MySpace and the like is that they tend to expand that age-group bubble young people already live in all the more, not because of anything inherent in the technology but because of the environment they're being used in. It's very difficult for parents to confidently weigh the benefits of such things against any adverse effects they might have--it's normal and healthy for t(w)eens to begin turning elsewhere for socialization, but inevitably this turns into perceiving parents as unwelcome interlopers at times, and often something that parents perceive as simply "spending time together" (like the father in the story, biking with his son) is interpreted by kids as an attempt to control their time and activities. Nothing new about this of course, but the more competition there is for your child's attention and the less you know about who they're interacting with and how, the harder it is. Being suspicious and overprotective is always unhelpful, but you have to guard against that tendency to want to be your child's pal and always on their "good side", too--ultimately that's not the job you've been charged with, and having already earned their trust in childhood is crucial to being able to wield authority appropriately later.
 
Color me obvious, but I just see this in relation to how our world has evolved. There simply wasn't the same "cool" things availible when most of us were kids as there is now. I didn't see my mom or dad on a cell phone, so I didn't feel I needed one. I remember when the word "virgin" was said on "Saved by the Bell" and I had to ask my mom what that meant. I couldn't watch that show for weeks b/c it was such a big deal.

I'm not defending, or applauding this early maturation at all however, b/c I've seen it myself in working with kids at the gym I used to work at. For whatever reason, it always rubbed me the wrong way. Like, childhood was escaping these kids and they didn't even know it. I don't know, again maybe I'm too old school or conservative, but if we skip childhood and get strait to teenage years so fast, what kind of things will these "kids" that we talk about not only want, but NEED next?

Edit: I walked away and thought of this however as well. What about those kids who develope faster or mature faster? Is it fair to try and hold them back? Their development isn't anyone's fault at all. I don't know. Tough issue.
 
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I (male) matured at a very young age, i started puberty at like 9 (no joke) was shaving by 11 and excelled at school... and then i got really, really bored (and started going bald at 14 to boot!). It would have theorheticaly been in my best interest to get my GED and start at a JC when i should have been in high school. But from a cultural standpoint, the high school years are socially formative in a way that can't be measured. The people that learned to communicate and network in high school have excelled in many ways, whereas i also see that the people that couldn't develop these skills are still suffering for it. what if i had missed those years and gone to a JC??? i'll never know.
 
Isn't there an actual marketing term KGOY -Kids Getting Older Younger? I think much of the change is down to marketing and advertising agencies specifically targeting the pre teen group with clothing, mobile phones, IPODs etc. There was an outcry here not long ago when some stores were heavily criticized for trying to sell scanty underwear to girls as young as around 8. With such advertising and peer pressure, it's more difficult for parents to say no when their kids want the same things that all their friends seem to have.
My son is nearly 11 and is already showing some signs of development (including typical teenage grumpiness :sigh: ),whilst some of the girls in his class have already started their periods. He wants more independence and has been asking for a mobile and IPOD for a while, mainly I think because some of his friends have them, but we've refused. We think he's too young and so far it's not been a big issue thankfully. It seems worse in some ways for girls though. They're targeted to look upon the likes of Britney, Paris and co as role models and it's all too easy for them to copy the looks.
 
I don't see how things like computers, cell phones, game systems, and iPods are intrinsically bad for kids as long as they are properly monitored. Our rule growing up was, you can have it if YOU can afford it. That meant if I wanted a Discman at 14, I had to find a way to make and save money to get one. We never had computers as kids, or video games, mp3 players, cell phones, cars.... I'm 22 and just got my first cell phone because it's through work and I don't have to pay. If parents are just giving out these gadgets to their young kids, then they should stop complaining about the damage they can do as far as being brainwashed playing video games all day or girls being stalked on MySpace by 40 year old men. You can't have it both ways.

IMO, the most important things teenagers can learn are respect, responsibility, and accountability. They can't do it on their own - parents need to set a good example and provide reasonable boundaries. If a 12 year old kid thinks she's old enough for a 700 minute cell phone plan, then I say she's old enough to get a babysitting job and help pay for it.

Like others have pointed out, I see kids demanding access to "toys" that are really geared towards adults. Really, why does a 12 year old need a cell phone? If you want to know where your kid is, make her tell you where she's going and with whom before she goes.

I guess I don't really see kids growing up any faster these days, I see kids pretending to be adults but actually acting less mature and less responsible.
 
Besides society's influence, does anyone in their 20s notice that kids of 10-15 are bloody huge compared to when we were the same age not so long ago?

Is it like this outside North America, because I notice it especially in the US. Maybe all the growth hormones that are in the beef. I don't mean fat, I just mean larger in general. It's a bit weird.
 
I've always thought American kids looked huge in comparison to us in Europe, they have always looked more physically mature to me.
 
Canadiens1160 said:
Besides society's influence, does anyone in their 20s notice that kids of 10-15 are bloody huge compared to when we were the same age not so long ago?

Is it like this outside North America, because I notice it especially in the US. Maybe all the growth hormones that are in the beef. I don't mean fat, I just mean larger in general. It's a bit weird.

I have kind of a biased view since I grew up in a Dutch community and the Dutch are actually the tallest people in the world, but if it's true, I'd guess that it's mainly to do with less physical exercise and more access to junk food. It seems like more kids get allowances or money, and now that kids eat at school rather than going home for lunch, they just eat out of a vending machine. Not to mention many schools have contracts for their vending machines. My high school had about two dozen Pepsi vending machines and I think only one or two had water and juices. Combine this with schools cutting requirements for PE classes and kids spending more and more time indoors and you get some BIG kids!
 
I wonder if there is any relationship with the Flynn effect, in any case I am not sure that these trends are a bad thing; society doesn't dramatically alter biology that rapidly - it is physical environmental factors.

For all the carping many indicators show taht this generation as a whole may be better; safer sex, less drugs, more intelligent etc.
 
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A_Wanderer said:
For all the carping many indicators show taht this generation as a whole may be better; safer sex, less drugs, more intelligent etc.



in many ways, this is spot-on.

i think it's easy to get caught up in easy nostalgia, childhood as a romantic, carefree time, and it was for many, at least some of the time. how lucky we are that much of the awfulness seems to melt away over time and we're left not with memories of hurt feelings, awkward birthday parties, petty humiliations, forgotten lines in the school play, and bad teachers, but we remember riding bikes to the playground, elaborate games of pretend, climbing trees, and school successes. we all do it, but probably because we all forget so quickly.

i do think that kids seem a bit older, and i do think, based upon my experience, that 11 or 12 seems to be a bit young for proper dating, but i think A_W is right -- research indicates that kids today do less drugs, smoke less, get pregnant less, and generally do better on some meausres of achievement (standardized tests, which are a poor measure, but what else have you?) both academically, athletically, and in whatever other areas of interest (music, theater, etc.) than kids did even 15 years ago.

there are nuances to this, i suppose. we could get up in arms about the popularity of, say, oral sex amongst high school students, but isn't that better than the teen pregnancy rates of the 1980s? it's a series of trade offs -- kids with more information are possibly better able to protect themselves, be it safer sexual practices or perhaps engaging in entirely controlled recreational uses of drugs, even if they are now more likely to engage in these activities. are we really to say which is better and which is worse?

i suppose i'm less concerned about a 12 year old acting like a 15 year old chatting on a cell phone and talking about "hot" girls than i am about a 7th grade teacher who can't spend the last 20 minutes of English reading, say, A Separate Peace outloud to her class of 13 year olds and instead has to cram for yet another state test.
 
Supposedly the hormones in food are a major factor in early menstruation, I think it's "freaky" that girls are starting that at such an early age. It's bad enough to deal with it when you are 12 or 13 or whatever age. It's just a normal natural bodily function, but I would never have wanted it in elementary school-it can be so painful and uncomfortable, depending upon the individual girl.

I don't know, I loved being a relatively really carefree and innocent kid and hate the thought that kids might eventually only be a kid up until kindergarten or something :slant: And I don't think group or real dating should start until 13 or 14 at the earliest. My personal preference would be 16 or 17 for individual real dates, I guess that makes me incredibly out of touch and old fashioned.

I do think the early sexualization of kids is a critically important issue.
 
but were we as innocent and carefree as we now think we are?

i really don't know the answer, i suppose i'm just wondering if we're all prone to too much nostalgia. when i really think back to elementary school, i'm actually almost sickened at how cruel kids could be to other kids, the fat kids, the weird kids, the socially maladroit kids, the little things that would happen and you'd never socially live them down, and based upon my experiences with this same age group (3rd-6th grade) kids are every bit as mean to each other as they were in the late-80s when i was that age.

as for the sexualization of kids, this i agree with. but not only does it sell, it sells for the same reason that things like cigarettes have sold to kids -- it makes you look older/cooler/more like a teenager. i fear that girls get a weird mixed message, that what might be deemed "sluttiness" (or the trappings of sluttiness) is equated with sexual power and control. they are not (usually) the same thing, or they are only the same thing in the hands of a self-confident woman, not a 14 year old.

as for the dating thing, i generally agree with you -- a driver's license earns one the right to start to date in the traditional sense, up until then, groups are better (and way less pressure).
 
Well by innocent I generally mean the sexual issue and the technologically driven sophistication that can be dangerous and expose you to all kinds of weirdos and weird situations, and just situations that you're not emotionally prepared for as a kid-in many ways I think people who were kids without computers, cell phones and all that were more innocent in a unique way.

I for one never thought about looking hot or sexy or anything like that or wearing those kinds of clothes any age under 16 or so, and I never went on dates before then either. I don't think I was allowed to wear makeup before I was 15 (maybe 14 at the earliest, I don't quite remember).

I certainly agree that kids could always be just as cruel, the only difference now is the methods by which that is done.
 
Canadiens1160 said:
does anyone in their 20s notice that kids of 10-15 are bloody huge compared to when we were the same age not so long ago?
Yeah, absolutely, my hubby and i were actually talking about it after the U2 show here in Adelaide - he's 5ft11 - average height i always thought, but he said he felt so short and skinny compared to alot of the younger guys around him. I'm also finding alot of the younger (like 21-22 yr old) girls at my work are towering over me!!
 
Irvine511 said:
but were we as innocent and carefree as we now think we are?

Look at it this way; if you were given the choice of raising your children how you were (providing you look back fondly) or how it is now, which would you choose? My answer lies in that I would love my kids to grow up how I did, but that is just not possible. It is not safe to run the streets, to go into the bush for 4 hours at a time, to just play freely. You can barely find a street quiet enough for a good game of street cricket these days.
 
Just because a girl is getting her period at 8 or 9 does not mean she is emotionally ready for "maturity" she might not even be physically even though she is ovulating.

I do look back fondly on my childhood, having freedom, sleeping outside on the grass all night in the front yard, riding on my bie off in the bush for hours, getting lifts from people i recognised att he shops home etc... and i do believe there is more violence and the world today is pretty screwed up with things that happen, compared to the past and i think that saddens me more

Truth be told, i drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes at 11 and 12 (not much, but at a aprty) and two kids in year 8 had sex and it was a BIG thing, but it wasn't the norm in my school...

i just think todays world is catered for getting it now NOW NOW stress and pressure etc etc
 
mandy1973 said:

Yeah, absolutely, my hubby and i were actually talking about it after the U2 show here in Adelaide - he's 5ft11 - average height i always thought, but he said he felt so short and skinny compared to alot of the younger guys around him. I'm also finding alot of the younger (like 21-22 yr old) girls at my work are towering over me!!

21-22 is the age when they are full-grown.
But that's nothing new. Over the centuries, but most over the past decades people became taller. Average height in the 1960's for example was less than it is today, and 1.90m and above was considered huge. Now 1.90m is normal height for men. I am 1.88m, and my brother is 1.94m.
In a few years I think 2.02m will be very normal, or even above.

That is thanks to the food that has improved and also caused by less physical work.

A the moment I think we should be more scared about the enormous popularity of fast food between children. In America and also here in Europe more and more children have overweight, and still their no. 1 food is fast food.

In England children refuse to eat healthier food in school kantine's and go to the next fries station. I even read about one case where the mothers supplied their children with fries and burgers every day so their children could boycott the healthier food in the kantine.

The mother who lead this sick movement even said having seen the move Supersize Me nobody can go on and eat fast food every day, still supplying her own child with the very same food very day.

On the other hand sport becomes less and less important and in the US the government even reduced the weekly sport sessions in school to a minimum.
I think there is also the problem that only children get supported in doing their sport who are really talented. And other children miss out.

I know from friends of mine who used to be in a soccer team since they were about six, that even in the earliest years only those kids got to play who were best.

The coaches only were interested in winning matches. They didn't taught the kids the principles of team play or social behaviour doing sport, but only filtered out the best players to win matches.
I think this should start later, but in the first years the fun and the experience of team play should be the main objective.

I think that's partly a reason why not so good kids decide to stop, or at least reduce time being spent, doing sport. Together with the popularity of fast food that's a very unhealthy coalition.

I don't know if kids really start to develop early. If we try to think back a bit longer than only the Seventies or Eighties we'll see that it was only a very short time where a kid could be a kid for so long, and enjoy being a teenager for so long. The term teenager e.g. only came up in the 1950's. 100 years ago children still had to support their families at an early age. During the 1900's 8-years were normal coal-miners, and many girls became pregnant at about 15 years old.

Only in the decades after WWII children really had a childhood and could grow up careless until they became 18 or even 21.

But because parents were more strict many children didn't seem to have developed so early I think.

Now it has become easier for children to express their thoughts and so they do.
Many companies have recognized it and reacted to that by simple marketing. So children started to want to have cell phones, iPods and video games. And some parents gave in, so that others couldn't go on and say no to their kids because they feared their kids could become outsiders. And this also happens.

And girls can be way more mean than boys. So I think the pressure on girls is very big.

I think we should consider that we had some rather unnormal decades since the 1950's when we speak about the different behaviour of children compared to our youth.

And like it is said in the article, parents shouldn't behave as good pals, but also know when to say no.
And some parents should start to care about their children again. Because you see many kids doing what they want and parents just don't care.
But if you decide on getting a human being, you also have to take some responsibility in the development of this child.
 
Angela Harlem said:


Look at it this way; if you were given the choice of raising your children how you were (providing you look back fondly) or how it is now, which would you choose? My answer lies in that I would love my kids to grow up how I did, but that is just not possible. It is not safe to run the streets, to go into the bush for 4 hours at a time, to just play freely. You can barely find a street quiet enough for a good game of street cricket these days.



do i want to raise them how i actually was raised, how how i think i remember how i was raised?

i'm just suspicious of nostalgia, that's all.

i think we both agree, though, on the value of having large amounts of unstructured time for kids to play. that's very important, imho, it's how kids learn and socialize themselves, though i think that can be achieved anywhere from one's own room to an unfinished basement to out in the bush. the important thing is not to have such overscheduled children that all the joy in life -- the joy you discover exists by making your own childhood discoveries -- is sucked away.
 
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