ronald in pictures official its official or whatever ya

[zonelistener]

Deathbear and Kieran finally "do in the ronald"

 

[ABEL]

Here's something I bet deathbear didn't even know:

Willard Scott is the original Ronald McDonald

http://www.thejoyboys.com/ronald.htm

In the early 1960s, in addition to his radio work, Willard Scott played Bozo the Clown on a local children's TV show. Children love clowns and hamburgers, so it was only natural for Bozo the Clown to make an appearance when the first McDonald's hamburger stand opened in Alexandria, Virginia. Willard tells the story in his book, The Joy Of Living:

At the time, Bozo was the hottest children's show on the air. You could probably have sent Pluto the Dog or Dumbo the Elephant over and it would have been equally as successful. But I was there, and I was Bozo... There was something about the combination of hamburgers and Bozo that was irresistable to kids... That's why when Bozo went off the air a few years later, the local McDonald's people asked me to come up with a new character to take Bozo's place. So, I sat down and created Ronald McDonald.


So Ronald McDonald was born, wearing a paper cup on his nose and a cardboard carry-out tray on his head. (Notice the milk shake, hamburger, and fries on top of the tray.)

McDonald's corporate web site credits Willard as being the first Ronald McDonald. Unfortunately, McDonald's chose another actor when they took the character into a nationwide ad campaign.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Uncle Ronnie... is a man of many faces. This.... excellent.... burger... buy.... it.

Yes, even I can endorse McDonalds products, but only if my words are taken completely out of context.

 

[Red Ships of Scalla-Festa]

Re: Deathbear and Kieran finally "do in the ronald"

well, close, but thats not quite how you do the ronald.

 

[zonelistener]

well, close, but thats not quite how you do the ronald.

Am I getting closer?

 

[ABEL]

"Do-do the Ronald, do-do the Ronald, do-do the Ronald, Ronald McDonald!
Do-do the Ronald, do-do the Ronald, do-do the Ronald, Ronald McDonald!..."

 

[ABEL]

 

[Red Ships of Scalla-Festa]

Am I getting closer?

right there, ya, thats it, bingo, right on the money, indeed yes sir.

 

[cell]

this thread gives me nightmares

 

[Red Ships of Scalla-Festa]

carefull icelle, the last time you wrote that in one of my threads i got banned from lemonade stand.

 

[Angela Harlem]

i love this thread so much i want to post my ronnie article and my favourite homeless ronnie pic.

alas.

i cant be arsed.

 

[Red Ships of Scalla-Festa]

do it angie.

ive probably seen it in yours or kierans dearest diaries, but still, do it for the soldiers in 'nam - i mean us internet whores at home.

 

[cell]

carefull icelle, the last time you wrote that in one of my threads i got banned from lemonade stand.

are you serious?

 

[Angela Harlem]

dont blame icelle!!!!!!!


don't listen to him icelle.

Here's your stinking pic and article bedhair

Self-proclaimed "King of Clowns", Ronald McDonald has lashed out at journalist Martin Bashir after watching the controversial documentary, "Making A Name For Martin Bashir."

McDonald had agreed to allow Bashir to film him for eight months on condition that it would help him shift copies of his new comic book, thus helping to alleviate something of the 0 million loss that his fast-food chain incurred in the last financial quarter pounder.

This was not a problem during the 1970's and 80's when McDonald was the highest-selling corporate figurehead in the world. Yet with falling sales he has been seen as increasingly irrelevant to the needs of modern children. This was made germane when, at the Burger Vending Awards in 1996, McDonald indulged himself with a messianic juggling display, in which he appeared to be boasting an enchanted ability to heal sick children and bring peace to all mankind. KFC CEO, Colonel Sanders, infamously stormed the stage and removed McDonald's baggy-pants as a protest. It later transpired that McDonald was facing the sack from his company, until he agreed to take part in the comic book enterprise.

ITV and Bashir have since denied the clown's allegations that more mentions should have been made of the book, claiming that they had, "complete impunity to do whatever the hell they liked."

It was not just the contractual obligations however as McDonald was also upset about the way he had been duped into trusting Bashir: "Martin told me that it was him who had got Princess Diana where she was today."

Furthermore, McDonald was displeased with repeated allegations made by Bashir that he had had cosmetic surgery on more than no, err? one, err? two occasions:

Bashir: Ronald, 12 months ago you were six feet tall, had a small white nose instead of a big red one, normally spaced eyes, your haircut wasn't ridiculous ? now you look like a freak!

McDonald: But you change!! But you change Martin...

Bashir: And don't you blame your indescribable pallor on Vitiligo. Ronald, I saw that bottle of bleach.

McDonald: That wasn't for me it was for my children!

McDonald's children, Birdie (15) and Hamburglar (14), were featured in the film, but they were never been seen without their masks on. Ronald has claimed he would rather them not be identifiable. McDonald's parenting skills have been called into question ever since Hamburglar's chronic obesity had been put down to a poor diet. Moreover, McDonald's beloved pet taste bud, Grimace (a pre-requisite for the discerning of McFlavour) nearly died last year of a heart attack. This was thought remarkable for a being with no heart, and he has subsequently been relocated to an animal sanctuary.

Ronald McDonald has also been accused of setting a bad example. In a trip to Germany last year he threw Birdie out of a window to please screaming fans, whilst laughing and singing, "Fly little bird! Fly!" Bashir condemned this on film claiming: "I had never seen Ronald like this before. There was an almost manic quality to him. At the McDonaldland ranch he had seemed so normal." McDonald was unperturbed and claimed that he had enjoyed the experience.

What Bashir did not find so normal was McDonald's relationship with other peoples' children. The following is a transcript taken from the film:

"Whilst at McDonaldland I had encountered Ronald's children's charity, and the work it was doing to help under-privileged children. They revelled in the fact that a 40-year-old clown would play with them and the little toys he gave them. I began to be disturbed however when I met a 12-year-old boy who claimed to have actually shared a dinner with his host. I challenged Ronald on this point.

Bashir: Ronald, I spoke to a boy, and he said that you and he had actually shared a "Happy Meal". Is this right?

McDonald: Of course! The most loving thing you can do with someone is share a Happy Meal.

Bashir: But Ronald, can't you see that many parents would be worried about their children eating Happy Meals?

McDonald: Well? perhaps if they were wacky? they're not Jack the Ripper!

Bashir: But Ronald, I wouldn't want my children eating Happy Meals with anyone! They are devoid of nutrition, the strangest things have been found in the burgers, and Happy Meal toys are known to be as inflammable as matchsticks? Perhaps what is at the forefront of most people's minds is what happened in 1993 ? or what didn't happen.

Macko: *gesticulates wildly and co-conspiratorially* What DIDN'T happen!

Bashir: I dunno Ronald. I seem to recall bacteria, traces of Matthew Kelly's shaven beard, a live baby gecko all being found in the burgers. Not to mention the unfortunate incident where a disgruntled employee was found ejaculating into the milk-shake machine.

"Just as I was taking stock of how, although my questioning had remained journalistic, my narrative had become intrusively like Louis Theroux's, I suddenly became aware of something - my questions had clearly upset him.

Macko: *sobbing* Why must you do this Martin?"

McDonald's close friend, the conjurer and spoon-frustrater Paul Daniels, was asked what he thought of the film. "Notalot" was the familiar response, before he continued, shaking his head: "Ronald would never do anything to hurt children. He's magic. The film? Shit."

In spite of the damage done to McDonald's reputation, sales of the McDonald classic, "The Big Mac", have increased 800% since the broadcast of the film. Unfortunately, not one person has yet requested a comic book, in spite of the fact that they are free. It seems that although McDonald the artist is untouched, McDonald the man has been very severely knocked.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Ronald is not only a liar and a cad, he sells drugs to children and puts special white sauce in his burgers. And believe me, you don't want to know where the special white sauce comes from.

*waits for Dave C to object vigorously as to McDonalds working conditions*

 

[Angela Harlem]

I think we can see from the above picture of Ronnie delivering some stock to a McDonalds restaurant in the ghetto, that this is not the case.

 

[Red Ships of Scalla-Festa]

thanks angela.

i have posted indisputable proof that ronnie has links to terrorist organizations, yet will that stop people from donating organs for their kebabs? i dont think so.

mcdonalds can only be brought down from the inside. so...im planning on applying for a job as junior assistant part manager for the graveyard shift where ill be given a free masausage burger every morning.

 

[Lemon Meringue]

 

[Red Ships of Scalla-Festa]

the one with jacko is honestly frightening.

 

[HeartlandGirl]

I should never have opened this thread.