It's Officially - How NOT To Plan A Wedding

[nbcrusader]

Just got a wedding invitation from one on my employees. This is a 27-year old guy marrying a 19-year old gal (who he has known for less than 6 months).

He's talked for weeks about the wedding and the reception on a nice boat. Then he started talking about a SECOND reception, this one miles away. Turns out he invited all the office people to the second reception, which is fine.

The kicker is this - inside the invitation were two cards informing us where he is registered (Macy's and Target). I just checked out the registry on-line. He registered for 123 separate items at Target. Everything from a nice 32" television and digital video camera to DVD's to laundry soap.

At Macy's, everything is top shelf ($$$$). Just about everything he is asking for is nicer than what I have at home.

Is it me, or has he lost all sense of perspective?

 

[BAW]

123 items???? I would buy them the laundry soap!

Ugh...I can't believe some of things I've seen on wedding registries in the last few years. I was always under the impression that a wedding gift was supposed to be something the couple needed to set up their home...linens, kitchenware, china, etc. We had a relative who asked for a Playstation 2 and camping equipment

 

[fah]

I have mixed feelings about advertising where you are registered. On one hand I feel it is a complete cash/gift grab but on the other I appreciate getting the info up front especially if it is for an out of town wedding or for someone I'm not going to see before the wedding. It's important to remember that you are not under any obligation to supply a huge gift the happy couple. I also feel that as a couple they are entitled to ask for whatever they want. Camping equipment wouldn't have been my first choice but for many I'm sure they would rather get a Coleman stove than a silver cake server. It all depends of what sort of lifestyle they have and also, have they been living together or married before.

One of my best friends gave me a really great idea for wedding gift and it actually came from the bride and groom. The happy couple had been living together for 'a while' and had both been in previous relationships with kids. They felt that the best way for their friends to honour them was that instead of asking for gifts, they asked their friends to make donations to their favourite charities.

 

[nbcrusader]

123 items???? I would buy them the laundry soap!

Ugh...I can't believe some of things I've seen on wedding registries in the last few years. I was always under the impression that a wedding gift was supposed to be something the couple needed to set up their home...linens, kitchenware, china, etc. We had a relative who asked for a Playstation 2 and camping equipment

Yeah, a full assortment of camping equipment was on the list as well. Oh, I forgot, it was a digital camera and a digital video camera.

Scary, I just noticed the baby clothes on the list. I know they will have a child within 1 year, but I doubt they started this fast.

 

[beli]

I had a wedding list - power drill, directors chairs, etc. We were trying to avoid ending up with 64 white platters. Most of our friends liked the list, they didnt have to think, just bought something and knew we would like it. Most of my friends got married around the same time so we all had lists at the same store.

My husbands relatives ignored the list and bought stuff they thought of - ie F$%^ing white platters. Not that Im ungrateful. I just think if people are going to spend their money it shouldnt be wasted on objects shoved under the oven gathering dust.

As for the expensive items, we were instructed by the store to have some expensive items on the list in case a few people wanted to chip into gether. As long as theres a good selection of things from $10 up most people should be able to find something in their price bracket.

ie I think they are a good thing.

 

[shari schultz]

Just got a wedding invitation from one on my employees. This is a 27-year old guy marrying a 19-year old gal (who he has known for less than 6 months).

He's talked for weeks about the wedding and the reception on a nice boat. Then he started talking about a SECOND reception, this one miles away. Turns out he invited all the office people to the second reception, which is fine.

The kicker is this - inside the invitation were two cards informing us where he is registered (Macy's and Target). I just checked out the registry on-line. He registered for 123 separate items at Target. Everything from a nice 32" television and digital video camera to DVD's to laundry soap.

At Macy's, everything is top shelf ($$$$). Just about everything he is asking for is nicer than what I have at home.

Is it me, or has he lost all sense of perspective?

At Macy's, everything is top shelf($$$$)

What is Macy's Bridal Registry return policy? I work for a department store in a Bridal Registry area and I have had people tell me that they are registering for top of the line stuff just to be able to return it all and get cash. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
Yes, we are still giving cash back for Bridal Registry returns Call me cynical, but is it a possibilty?

 

[verte76]

These people don't seem to have much sense. Macy's????

 

[beli]

I dont know what Macys is? Is it really posh or sumfin?

 

[nbcrusader]

Macy's is a higher end department store.

Let's just say I'm not getting them the titanium cookware....

 

[beli]

Oh, thanks. We have Myers here which is a middle range department store. Thats where just about everybody does their bridal registry.

Another feature of a bridal registry is that the pressies are delivered to your house after the honeymoon ie you dont have to spend your wedding night lugging back the pressies, trying to take your wedding clobber off, AND getting ready to go to the airport.

Im really for em. The only exception is pressies from arty friends. I would much prefer a home-made-with-love thingie than a titanium saucepan.

 

[beli]

Actually I was just thinking about pressies in general. There is a divide on this issue. eg Xmas pressies. Some people purchase everyone in their family a pressie. Some give only to the children 'as they enjoy Xmas the most'. And others, like my family, draw a name out of a hat and spend $50 on that one person. We usually find out who drew our name and drop huge hints, which is not only acceptable but encouraged. The standard joke in my family is if you dont tell your name giver what you want you will get a mixed basket from the Body Shop.

Not very romantic but democratic. Were all happy. Xmas shopping is very low stress as theres only one pressie to purchase (on my side of the family anyway) No white platters on us.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

NBC re-read your first sentence, and tell me why you are surprised about their registry .

I agree that it's very tacky to ask for things like electronics and just plain weird to ask for laundry soap. Could you image wrapping laundry soap in wedding paper? And imagine having to bring that up to the register and having to tell the cashier that it was on gift registry . My cousin's ex-wife put like a thousand picture frames on their registry and they already had a bunch of frames in the apartment and most of them had pictures of her by herself in them . She was a REAL winner.

 

[beli]

At least laundry soap is useful. White platters are not. (IMHO). I would have prefered to receive one box of laundry soap instead of 4 white platters.

 

[theSoulfulMofo]

I'd be lucky to get invited to my own wedding, because the girl, whom I pine after, would probably choose to marry someone else.



edited for context.

 

[beli]

Why are there so many single men in here? (interference). I wish this place was around when I was single. Would have saved me from hanging around at the Quasar tournaments every Sunday afternoon to met boys

 

[melon]

The only thing I can imagine is that he must have some very affluent friends or he, himself, is fairly affluent and really has lost perspective.

So make sure to crash him back down to reality.

Melon

 

[beli]

It doesnt matter that there are some expensive things on the list. NBC you dont seem to be the sort that is influenced by some kind of peer group pressure or 'keeping up with the Jones'"

I think you should pick something off the register that is the price you were going to pay for a gift anyway.

But Im obviously at odds with everyone in this thread. Perhaps its a cultural thing? In Australia its the norm these days to either have a register or a list with the Mothers of the bride and groom. Its easy then. Buy the pressie, shopping finished, now lets go for a swim/have a barbie/ etc. ie not waste too much time on the chores of life. Theres better things to do in life than scour artificially lite shops with the rest of the cattle. (IMHO)

 

[BAW]

beli, I have nothing against the wedding registry...I think its a great idea and keeps people from buying you things you don't need. I just question people who register for big ticket items or go wild and put 123 things on the list! I know there is no requirement to buy those things but its almost like someone is expected to or they wouldn't be on the list.

Its always been the tradition in my family that the parents and/or grandparents usually buy the expensive items, like a nice TV or furniture and the rest of the family and friends buy things like appliances and bed linens.

 

[beli]

Its always been the tradition in my family that the parents and/or grandparents usually buy the expensive items, like a nice TV or furniture and the rest of the family and friends buy things like appliances and bed linens.

Yep. Exactly. Thats how I view registry lists.

Expensive items = relatives or a group of mates getting together
Everything else = mates, colleagues.

Just about all of my friends are married now but I just used to walk up to the registry counter and say Im going to blahs wedding and I want to spend blah amount, please advise. I didnt even look at the full list. Dont care. I know we had a lot of things on our list so that people could have a bit of a choice. We werent expecting to get everything.

Whatever. Are registries new to the US? I wouldnt even be having this conversation in Aus. (Not a criticism. Just trying to get my head around this thread)

 

[fah]

Are wedding showers a big deal for any of you? It used to be you'd get the bride a small gift but now it seems that the shower gifts rival the wedding gifts.

 

[beli]

I think this kinda thing falls into the same category as the Janet Wardrobe Malfunction Incident. Im getting the impression, solely based on posts in Interference and surfing the net and absolutely NO professional research undertaken, that maybe the average person in the USA is not quite as laid back as the average person in Australia. Not that Im calling anyone here, myself included, average.

 

[beli]

Are wedding showers a big deal for any of you? It used to be you'd get the bride a small gift but now it seems that the shower gifts rival the wedding gifts.

Nup. Showers are just for kitchen utensils or plants. With my friends anyway.

 

[fah]

I used to think that too but as the last shower I went to the bride to be got several high end items including a place settings of china and a microwave oven. I bought a pair of coffee mugs and a pound of coffee (organic fair trade I might add) and I felt like I hadn't spent enough money.

 

[shari schultz]

At the department store I work at I have watched the average $ spent on shower gifts go from $25 up to $50 and more. I hate to say it but it honestly seems like the guests compete against each other.

 

[beli]

Fah, sounds like a perfectly good pressie to me. Please dont feel that you didnt spend enough money. Lifes too short to worry about what other people might be thinking about why your thought to buy your pressie.

Share the love and shove the rest.

 

[beli]

At the department store I work at I have watched the average $ spent on shower gifts go from $25 up to $50 and more. I hate to say it but it honestly seems like the guests compete against each other.

But you dont have to play if you dont want to. If your friends dont like it, then change friends. (IMHO)

 

[fah]

I have to agree with Shari, it does seem that some guests/friends do compete with each other

 

[beli]

but, but, but. Arent we then talking about peer group pressure (or the adult equivalent - Keeping Up With the Jones') ?

 

[fah]

Let me tell you about the wedding gift I bought for my brother when he got married....

I didn't know what to buy them. They had been living together and were saving up to buy their dream (which they move into next month). I waited too long and ended up buying them a gift card for a local department store. As I was wrapping it up, I thought this isn't enough, so I phoned my husband and told him to pick some lottery tickets to throw in with the gift. When my husband got home he had bought the wrong tickets but I didn't care we were late and had to go. The next day at the gift opening they were happy with the gift card and the lottery tickets. They were really happy when they discovered they had won $1003 with the wrong tickets my husband bought.

 

[beli]

You have gift openings?

We open the pressies by ourselves. No audience.