EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try
this on their bed.
DAY 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear
into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was
chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning
foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
liquid?! My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between
my teeth.
DAY 771
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.
DAY 774
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety
is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Martha - watch your back, babe! 
