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Old 06-19-2003, 02:34 AM   #161
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....stuck like a greased pig.

If that wasn't the best damned...
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Old 06-19-2003, 03:07 PM   #162
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cherry pie Ive ever had...shoot me now.

As I was saying, I remember a time when...
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Old 06-19-2003, 11:42 PM   #163
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...my dog handcuffed me to a tree and stole all of the peanut butter to give to a turtle with a nasty temper.

When zoney asked me if I thought his new dress made him look fat, I told him...
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Old 06-20-2003, 03:10 AM   #164
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it made him look like the Mona Lisa!


Everyone please be quiet, I'm trying to....
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Old 06-20-2003, 03:11 AM   #165
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I would rather bathe in a vat of hydrochloric acid than answer that question.

I saw the funniest thing on TV about...
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Old 06-20-2003, 07:58 AM   #166
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bathing in vats of hydrochloric acid.

When I do dress in a dress, it's not Mona Lisa I look like, but maybe.....
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Old 06-20-2003, 08:04 AM   #167
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Al Rooker

Likewise, my diet plan also consists of....
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Old 06-20-2003, 10:56 AM   #168
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old shredded documents.

I shot...
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Old 06-21-2003, 01:27 AM   #169
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the leg off my old hound dog, Tweeter.

The last time I kicked your ass...
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Old 06-21-2003, 01:32 AM   #170
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I was eating tutti fruitti flavored jelly beans.


A photographer was taking pictures of...
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Old 06-21-2003, 03:28 AM   #171
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you getting busy with the ho down the road.

So I took the bribe money off you and....
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Old 06-21-2003, 10:03 AM   #172
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invested in stocks and bonds

the yield for this quarter was very....
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Old 06-21-2003, 11:54 AM   #173
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tastie. Yum.
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Old 06-21-2003, 12:54 PM   #174
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Quote:
Originally posted by Basstrap
invested in stocks and bonds

the yield for this quarter was very....

much like blueberry pie.


I went running down the street and jammed my toe on...
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Old 06-21-2003, 02:56 PM   #175
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Quote:
Originally posted by ABEL



much like blueberry pie.


I went running down the street and jammed my toe on...
a large mole.

I went to the dermatologist who said, "
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Old 06-21-2003, 08:33 PM   #176
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"you are living a disjointed life that makes no coherent sense. One minute you're eating shredded newspapers and before you know it you're comparing stocks and bonds to blue berry pie!! YOU NEED HELP!!! SEEEEEEEK HELP!!! NOW!!!! GOOOO!!!!! SEEK!!!!!"

being made very uncomfortable by this bizarre and unorthadox display of aggression I.....
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Old 06-21-2003, 08:38 PM   #177
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started to sing opera.


There was a loud crashing noise and it was...
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Old 06-22-2003, 04:19 AM   #178
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the sound of democracy crumbling.

Outside, there was rioting, and I saw one woman actually...
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Old 06-22-2003, 11:19 AM   #179
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...running around naked, and then I realized it was my grandma.

I was going to buy a new pair of shoes...
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Old 06-22-2003, 11:24 AM   #180
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but I decided to make my own pair in protest of sweat shop manufactured footwear

So I doned my news shoes for....
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