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Old 11-13-2003, 03:53 AM   #1
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it's official#you can take me out of Interference

but you can't take Interference out of me.

A random witty saying from your favourite random witty poster.

Ta.
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Old 11-13-2003, 05:13 AM   #2
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yertle must be bored



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Old 11-13-2003, 05:14 AM   #3
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abel must be perceptive!
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Old 11-13-2003, 05:18 AM   #4
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Old 11-13-2003, 06:05 AM   #5
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The Scottish Football League is divided into four divisions - The Bank Of Scotland Scottish Premier League, The Scottish First Division, The Scottish Second Division, and the Scottish Third Division. Teams are promoted and relegated every season, with the bottom club of the higher division exchanging places with the top club of the lower division. In addition, a playoff is held between the second bottom club of the higher division and the second top club of the lower division. The winner of this playoff will play in the higher division. Scottish teams meet four times a season, playing two games at home and two games away.

The traditional powerhouses of the Scottish game are Glasgow rivals Celtic and Rangers, affectionately dubbed as 'The Old Firm' by locals. They have god knows how many trophies between them. Their success has manifested itself in attendance figure disparities - the Old Firm game can attract tens of thousands of supporters, while other clubs struggle to break 5000-6000. Lower division clubs are lucky to even break 2000.

In addition to the regular league, Scottish teams participate in two cup competitions - The CIS Insurance Cup, also known as the Scottish League Cup, and the Scottish Cup.
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Old 11-13-2003, 06:14 AM   #6
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Actually the Scottish League is in 2 parts. Celtic/Rangers, and the rest.
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Old 11-13-2003, 06:14 AM   #7
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Old 11-13-2003, 06:43 AM   #8
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English Soccer, A Short Introduction
by yertle-the-turtle

England has often been credited with the invention of the game known as football in everywhere but America and other places, where it is called 'soccer', a short form for 'association football', the game's proper name. Whatever it is, football promises loads of fun. The English game is one of the most widely followed around the world.

England operates a four tier main league, known as the Football League as well as various amateur leagues. The Football League was orginally divided into three divisions - The English First Division, Second Division and Third Division. The Third Division was further divided into the Third Division North and Third Division South, until sometime in the 1930s the weaker teams of both divisions formed the Fourth Division. In 1992, the First Division changed it's name to the FA Carling Premiership, with the Second Division becoming the First Division and so on. The formation of the 'EPL' (short for English Premier League) allowed for more TV rights and money for the so-called bigger clubs in it, and did cause some unhappiness. Nonetheless, it is the most widely followed league in the world, attracting millions of television audiences every week.

The Football League operates on a two round round robin system, where every team plays every other team twice - once home, and once away. Three points are awarded for a win, and one for a draw (a 'tie'), with no points for a loss. The points system affects a team's position in the league 'table', obviously, those with more points would be higher in the table. In the case of similar points accumulated, 'goal difference' is used to determine positions. Goal difference is calculated by subtracting the number of goals conceded by a team from the number of goals scored. Prior to the late 1970s the Football League used a more confusing system known as goal average, which I know next to nothing about so I won't write it out here. At the end of a season, the team with the most points is crowned Champion. The bottom three teams, meanwhile, are relegated to a lower division, while three teams from the lower division are promoted to the higher division. For instance, last season, the bottom three in the EPL were West Ham United, West Bromwich Albion and Sunderland. This season, they are playing in the First Division. Last season's league table in the first division went something like this:

Portsmouth
Leicester City
Sheffield United
Nottingham Forest
Reading
Wolverhampton Wanderers

Because Portsmouth and Leicester finished first and second respectively, they were awarded automatic promotion to join the English Premier League. The other four teams were drawn into a playoff, played over two legs. In this case, Wolverhampton Wanderers beat Reading and Sheffield United beat Nottingham Forest. Both Wolves and Sheffield United then went to Cardiff's Millennium Stadium, and with Wolves winning 3-0, they were promoted to the Premier League. The reason for the playoff system is simply to make the end of season more interesting, as mid-table sides in the lower leagues would still be in with a chance of fighting for a place in the top flight.

The league immediately below the main Football League is known as the Nationwide Conference, formerly known as the Vauxhall Conference. The Conference is more or less an EPL of 'non-league' football, as it is the top-tier of non-professional football in England. The Conference Champions are allowed admission into the Football League (in the Third Division), but only if they can prove they can financially survive in the professional environs of League football. Last season, playoffs were introduced, with Doncaster Rovers beating Dagenham & Redbridge to return to League football in style. Meanwhile, Exeter City and Shrewsbury Town, who finished as the two worst sides in the Third Division, were relegated from the League and now play in the Conference.

There are four cup competitions in England - The FA Cup, the League Cup (also known as the Worthington Cup, the Carling Cup, the Milk Cup, the Coca-Cola Cup, or whatever sponsor they had at the time), the LDV Vans Trophy and the FA Vase.

The Vase is contested by mostly amateur teams in the country, while the LDV Vans Trophy is contested by teams from the English Second Division downwards. The League Cup is only open to the 92 Football League teams (ie. those in the EPL, First-Third Divisions), and was jokingly known as the 'Worthless Cup' for sometime, punning on the 'Worthington Cup' name. Indeed, many big teams have been fond of putting out youth or reserve sides in the Cup, which many feel is a waste of time.

The big, historic tournament, however, is the FA Cup. Played even before the formation of the League, it has it's origins in a House competition at Eton (or Harrow, or Oxford, or whatever). Amateur teams around the country first have to go through some gruelling qualifying rounds, where they are drafted into the First Round to meet teams from the Second and Third Divisions, as well as the Conference. FA Cup 'draws' are held at the offices of the Football Association. Each team plays the other once, and home advantage depends purely on the luck of the draw. If there is a tie, there is a replay at the opponents home ground, failing which an additional overtime period is played. Should this still not decide a winner, a penalty shootout is employed, where each team takes turns to take penalty kicks until one team misses.

In January, most of the big names enter the Cup in the Third and Fourth Rounds. These big names are all from the Premier League and First Division. It is a chance for many of the smaller teams to cause giant killings and upsets. Recently Third Division Shrewsbury beat Premiership highflyers Everton 2-1, while non-league side Sutton United managed to beat Premiership Coventry. Most amazingly, perhaps, was Wrexham's 2-1 defeat of Arsenal in 1992 - Arsenal had finished as Champions the season before while Wrexham found themselves bottom of the Fourth Division! The final two used to play at England's Wembley Stadium but since that is under renovation right now the Final venue has shifted to the Millennium Stadium, ironically, considering it is in Cardiff, Wales!

Then there is European competition. Europe has two main competitions - The UEFA Champions League, and the UEFA Cup. The Champions League is regarded by many as the best competition in the world. Top European sides vie for this prestigious trophy every season. In England, the Champions automatically qualify for the next season's Champions League tournament, as does the runner-up. The third and fourth placed teams find themselves in a qualifying draw, playing home and away with other teams in Europe. They will whittle down all this to 32 teams who will play in 8 groups of 4, with the top 2 advancing to a knock-out competition, playing home and away. The aggregate score is calculated, and the team with the higher score goes through to the next round. If the scores are level on aggregate, and 'away goals' system is applied, in which the team that scored the most goals away from home would go through. Should this still be level, extra time and penalties ensue. The first English winner was Manchester United in 1968, beating Benfica at Wembley, although they were not the first British winner - Celtic of Scotland had won a year earlier. United took the trophy again in 1999.

The UEFA Cup is a slightly more minor competition than the Champions League. In England, the fifth and sixth placed team, as well as the winner of the FA Cup qualify for the UEFA Cup 1st round. If the winner of the FA Cup has already qualified for the Champions League, then the losing finalist qualifies for the UEFA Cup. In addition, if England tops the European Fairplay Table, then the most disciplined team not already in European competition qualifies for the Champions League. Also, teams that have lost their Champions League qualifying rounds or have finished third in the group stages of the first round of the Champions League qualify. This season, England's UEFA Cup representatives are Southampton (FA Cup runners up to Arsenal), Blackburn Rovers (6th place), Liverpool (5th place), Manchester City (fair play table) and Newcastle (lost to Partizan Belgrade in Champiosn League qualifying). Teams play home and away with aggregate scores, away goals, extra time and penalties all applying. Already, Southampton and Blackburn have exited, with Southampton losing to Steaua Bucharest of Romania and Blackburn crashing out to Glenclerbigli of Turkey.
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Old 11-13-2003, 06:47 AM   #9
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I was watching an episode of Car Sharks one night and they had a Wolves team and some other team doing a car each. The Wolves car looked pretty good but it was a heap of crap mechaincally.

I know a Wolves fan though. He is my bartender. He is also a Dundee or Rangers fan, cant remember which. I cant get passed the Wolves without laughing.
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Old 11-13-2003, 07:02 AM   #10
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lol. I'm bored. anyways...

Last Season

UEFA Champions League
AC Milan (Italy) def. Juventus (Italy)
3-2 on penalties (0-0 after extra time)

UEFA Cup
Porto (Portugal) def. Glasgow Celtic (Scotland)
3-2 after extra time (2-2 at full time)
Por: Derlei Silva (2), Dmitri Alenichev
Cel: Henrik Larsson (2)

FA Cup
Arsenal def. Southampton
1-0
Ars: Robert Pires

League Cup
Liverpool def. Manchester United
2-0
Liv: Gerrard, Owen

LDV Vans Trophy:
Bristol City def. Carlisle United
2-0

FA Vase:
Brigg Town def. AFC Sudbury
2-1

English Premier League
Champions: Manchester United
Runners up: Arsenal
Champions League Qualification: Chelsea, Newcastle United
UEFA Cup: Liverpool, Blackburn Rovers, Southampton, Manchester City
Relegated: West Ham United, West Bromwich Albion, Sunderland

English First Division
Champions: Portsmouth
Runners up: Leicester City
Playoffs: Sheffield United, Nottingham Forest, Reading, Wolves*
Relegated: Grimsby Town, Brighton & Hove Albion, Sheffield Wednesday

English Second Division
Champions: Wigan Athletic
Runners up: Crewe Alexandra
Playoffs: Bristol City, Queens Park Rangers, Oldham Athletic, Cardiff City*
Relegated: Cheltenham Town, Huddersfield Town, Mansfield Town, Northampton Town

English Third Division
Champions: Rushden and Diamonds
Runners up: Hartlepool United
Third Automatic Promotion Place: Wrexham
Playoffs: Bournemouth*, Scunthrope United, Lincon City, Bury
Relegated to Conference: Exeter City, Shrewsbury Town

Nationwide Conference
Champions: Yeovil Town
Playoffs: Morecambe, Doncaster Rovers*, Chester City, Dagenham & Redbridge
Relegated to Regional Amateur Leagues: Nuneaton Borough, Southport, Kettering Town
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Old 11-13-2003, 08:18 AM   #11
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Old 11-13-2003, 08:23 AM   #12
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football

Nottingham Forest
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Old 11-13-2003, 09:34 AM   #13
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football

The Hearts


Although I have a Celtic jacket.
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Old 11-13-2003, 11:18 AM   #14
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What's going on in here ...

I just wanted everyone to know that Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
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Old 11-13-2003, 11:35 AM   #15
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If you eat Polar Bear liver in April it will kill you


There is too much Vitamin A in it
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