It's Official # Rhyming Cockney

[theSoulfulMofo]

Stumbled upon this tonight...

http://www.thecockney.btinternet.co.uk/cockney3.htm

THE BODY, ITS PARTS AND FUNCTIONS

Barnet Fair = Hair
Berkshire Hunt = Cunt (He's a right Berk)
Boat Race = Face
Bottle and Glass = Arse
Bristol City = Titty (breast)
Chalfont St Gyles = Piles
Chalk Farm = Arm
Cobblers Awls = Balls (A load of old cobblers)
Derby Kelly = belly
Douglas Hurd = Turd
Eartha Kitt = Shit
Fife and Drum = Bum
Friar Tuck = Fuck
Ghunga Dhin = chin
Gregory Peck = Neck
Gypsies Kiss = Piss
Ham and Eggs = Legs
Hampstead heath = teeth
Hampton Wick = Prick (penis)
Hobson's Choice = Voice
Ivory Band = Hand
J. Arthur Rank = Wank (Having a J. Arthur)
Jimmy Riddle = Piddle (urinate)
Khybur Pass = Arse
Loaf of Bread = Head
Mince Pies = Eyes
Newington Butts = guts
North and South = Mouth
Oliver Twist = Wrist
Orchestra Stalls = Balls
Plates of Meat = Feet
Pony and Trap = Crap
Raspberry Ripple = Nipple
Raspberry Tart = Fart (blowing raspberries)
Richard the 3rd = Turd
Tom and Dick = Sick
Tom Tit = Shit
Tommy Rollocks = Bollocks
Turkish Delight = Shite

CLOTHING ETC

Airs and Graces = Braces
Almond Rocks = Socks
Daisy roots = Boots
Dicky Dirt = Shirt
East and West = Vest
Kippers = Slippers
Peckham Rye = Tie
Round the Houses = Trousers
Sky Rocket = Pocket
Tit for Tat = Hat (titfer)
Turtle Doves = Gloves
Whistle and Flute = Suit




DOWN THE PUB

Aristotle = Bottle
Brahms and Liszt = Pissed
Battlecruiser = Boozer (Pub)
Elephants Trunk = Drunk
Fine and Dandy = Brandy
Finger and Thumb = Rum
Fishermans Daughter = Water
Gold Watch = Scotch
Pigs Ear = Beer
Plink-Plonk = vin Blanc (Wine, A bottle of plonk)
Rub-a-Dub = Pub
Salmon and Trout = Stout
Tiddlywink = Drink
Vera Lynn = Gin

PEOPLE AND SLANG USED FOR THEM *edited for obivious reasons

Artful Dodger = Lodger
Bricks and Mortar = Daughter
China Plate = Mate (Hello me ol' china)
Duchess of Fyfe = Wife (The Duchess)
Dustbin Lid = Kid
Love and Kisses = Mrs.
Merchant Banker = Wanker
Mother of Pearl = Girl
Skin and Blister = Sister
Treacle Tart = Sweetheart
Trouble and Strife = Wife
Tin Lid = Yid

MISCELLANEOUS

Adam and Eve = Believe
Apples and Pears = stairs
Ball and Chalk = Walk
Barnaby Rudge = Judge
Barny Rubble = Trouble
Bird Lime = Time
Bob Hope = Dope (Marijuana)
Borasic Lint = Skint (broke)
Brixton Riot = Diet
Brown Bread = Dead
Bread and Honey = Money
Bubble and Squeak = Speak
Bull and Cow = Row
Butchers Hook = Look
Cain and Abel = Table
Cape of Good Hope = Soap
Cat and Mouse = House
Cherry Hog = Dog
Cock and Hen = Ten
Collar and Tie = Pie
Currant bun = Sun
Dicky Bird = Word (Don't say a Dicky Bird)
Dog and Bone = telephone
Duke of Kent = Rent
Elephant and Castle = Parcel
Flowery Dell = Cell (Prison Cell)
Fore and Aft = Daft
Frog and Toad = Road
Gary Glitter = Shitter
Greengages = wages
Half-inch = pinch (to steal)
Harry Tate = Eight
Highland Fling = Ring
Holy Ghost = Toast
Jam Jar = Car
Jack and Jill = Hill or Bill
Jack the Ripper = kipper
Joanna = Piano
Johnny Horner = Corner
Kick and Prance = Dance
Lady Godiva = Fiver
Lemonade = Spade
Linen Draper = Newspaper (Reading the Linen)
Little White Mice = dice
Mickey Bliss = Piss (Taking the Mickey)
Mutt and Jeff = Deaf
Oily Rag = Fag (cigarette)
Oxford Scholar = Dollar
Paraffin Lamp = Tramp
Pen and Ink = Stink
Pork Pies = Lies
Potatoes in the Mould = cold (It's taters, aint it !)
Rabbit and Pork = Talk (Rabbit's too much)
Rory O'Moore = Door
Rosie Lee = Tea
Ruby Murray = Curry
Sausage and Mash = Cash
Septic Tank = Yank
Sherbet Dab = Cab
Steam Tug = Mug
Sweeny Todd = Flying Squad (Police)
Syrup of Fig = Wig
Tea Leaf = thief
Tin Tack = Sack
Tomfoolery = Jewellery (A nice piece of Tom)
Tom Mix = Six
Trick Cyclist = Psychiatrist
Todd Sloane = On your own (on yer Todd)
Uncle Ned = Bed

NON RHYMING SLANG

Monkey = ?500
Pony = ?25
Score = ?20

 

[yertle-the-turtle]

I know apples and pears and trouble and strife!

and there was an only fools and horses joke about the old 'new delhi' once.

 

[zonelistener]

It's all pork pies!

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

someone in england told me no one uses those phrases anymore

 

[Salome]

I didn't know that

 

[FizzingWhizzbees]

Well would you adam and eve it?

Actually nobody I know even in London uses half those words anymore, but they're still good for a laugh.

 

[meegannie]

Friar Tuck = Fuck

Okay, NO ONE here has told me that.

Why must my name always be so abused???? WHY??

 

[zonelistener]

Your name is Friar?

 

[celia]

some of my uncles used to talk like that! lol...but yeah most people from London dont use that slang anymore...it's fun though

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

i would love to see a visitor to London use these words thinking that they were all hip to the slang meanwhile they look like a big .

 

[celia]

i would love to see a visitor to London use these words thinking that they were all hip to the slang meanwhile they look like a big .

lol I have actually met a couple of people like that before, some friends from up north seem to think we all still talk like it everyday!