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Old 11-26-2003, 01:01 PM   #1
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Normal It's Official# proper english can

my arse!!!

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Old 11-26-2003, 01:36 PM   #2
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ain't grammar great?
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Old 11-26-2003, 02:43 PM   #3
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no it aint
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Old 11-26-2003, 04:14 PM   #4
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Grammar gets on my nerves.
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Old 11-26-2003, 05:44 PM   #5
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Yes, this is old and cheesy, but I'm posting it anyway.

Rules of Grammer

Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

One should NEVER generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don't use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And finally...

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Old 11-26-2003, 05:51 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by jkayet
Yes, this is old and cheesy, but I'm posting it anyway.

Rules of Grammer

Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

One should NEVER generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don't use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And finally...

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

not grammar rules

*runs and hides
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Old 11-26-2003, 09:45 PM   #7
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That is just evil.
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Old 11-26-2003, 11:29 PM   #8
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Fun!
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Old 11-26-2003, 11:34 PM   #9
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You guys want to know what's worse then the list is people actually tell you those in person after you have made a mistake
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Old 11-27-2003, 12:03 AM   #10
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speaking for all recent English graduates...

that's pretty good, jkay
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Old 11-27-2003, 03:03 AM   #11
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English
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Old 11-28-2003, 03:34 AM   #12
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I have to admit that I get inordinately annoyed when people here use American words instead of British ones - eg when people say Mall instead of shopping centre, or Math instead of Maths.

I don't know why but it just gets on my tits.
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Old 11-29-2003, 06:49 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by bammo2
I have to admit that I get inordinately annoyed when people here use American words instead of British ones - eg when people say Mall instead of shopping centre, or Math instead of Maths.

I don't know why but it just gets on my tits.
People here in the US get annoyed with me since I picked up a lot of British terms and still occasionally use them inadvertently...it's funny though, I confuse them.
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