ITS OFFICIAL - My friend is an asshole

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Party Boy

Party Boy

Refugee
Joined
Sep 28, 2000
Messages
1,414
Location
Toronto. From Kildare, Ireland originally.
My friend was sharing a two bedroom flat with me in London when he went back home to Ireland in early December as he lost his job - anyone who knows London knows its an expensive place to live in without work, so his plan was to come back in early January when market picks up a little.

Anyway, the flat we lived in is owned by my sister and her boyfriend. They said they would keep his room open till end of January. In the meantime, we got a couple to move in for about a month to help with rent. My friend came back and said he would move in Feb 1st. In the meantime he was crashing with some other friends.

My sisters boyfriend sorted my friend out with a permenent well paid job. However he has yet to move back into flat and I just spoke to him on the phone and said he is not going to move in as the rent is cheaper in the place he is in currently.

So now have to try and find a new housemate all the time my sister and her bf are losing rent. Even tho they sorted my friend out with a job. Feeling very let down - first time I have ever had a friend disappoint me.

Or am I over reacting?
 
Would you like to borrow my spork to eat his brains?

Hold on though...I'll need it for a few minutes yet.
 
Yeah he did.. the point is tho that he knew for 2 months how much the rent was. To say he is not going to move in nearly a week after he was meant to is fairly unreasonable. By the time we get someone else to move in, it will probably be end Feb/early March... so.. sister & her bf are out about £400.. (its that expensive in London!)
 
Update... friend arranged to meet Chris (my sisters bf) at 8 tonight to sort out logistics moving in etc. I didnt realise this. Friend didn't call to cancel nor did he turn up..... Have still not mentioned anything to Chris as I don't think its my place or its up to me...
 
Email I sent to sister, her BF and copying friend on...

Hi Chris, Eilis,

Chris, I finally spoke to Paddy last night and he told me he is not moving in.

Firstly, let me apologise for my so-called friend - he said he is not moving in because the place he is staying at the moment has reduced his rent. Despite you holding the flat for a few months and despite Paddy indicating that he would move in on 1st Feb he seems to think that it is completely acceptable to change his mind without consideration on how it affects others.

I really don't know what to say - am embarrassed to say that he is meant to be a friend. Despite all the things both you and I have done for him - especially you Chris in sorting out a job for him, he has shown what a complete and utter a**hole he is.

I've copied Paddy on this email mainly so that he can know how pissed off I am and what I think of him. Secondly, to show what a spineless pr**k he is. I am really sorry Chris that you came over at 8pm last night. Clearly Paddy had no intention of showing up but did not have the decency to tell you nor to let you or me know that he wasn't moving in until a week after the original 1st Feb date. I've left countless messages for him to contact you but again, its pretty clear that unless its something he is going to gain from, he seems completely incapable of doing this.

Going forward, I think the best thing Paddy can do is to pay the outstanding rent from 1st Feb (original date he was meant to move in on) until someone else moves in - right up until 7th March (months notice based on the fact that he said he is not moving in last night - 7th Feb). I very much doubt he will agree, write back or contact you to discuss this but at least I have put it in an email which both you or Eilis can respond to.

Again I am really sorry. I didn't think he would do such a selfish thing esp after you sorting a job out for him. You live and learn.

I don't know what else to say!

Andy

I know.. bit strong winded but I was really angry and felt very let down. Anyway, since then, friend sent me an email only saying that he didnt realise not moving in would cause so much problems. Still no contact with sister or her bf. Spineless a**. What he doesnt realise is that my sisters bf, through his dad, could get friend fired with click of fingers. Either way, between me (through bills etc and sister/her bf through rent) we are about £800 down. Bit of a nightmare!!
 
KhanadaRhodes said:
i'll room with you! i just have to get my passport, visa, and a job in london first...
Click to expand...

Job front - sorted - get you a job relatively easy (btw, what can you do!!?)

Passport - how come not everyone has a passport? Its a license to see the world - recommend it very very much!

Visa - well, difficult part - I used to be able to forge parents signiture on letters home from school. I could try to improvise a little....
 
Am guessing you guys are American right? am sure this statistic of only 10% approx of Americans have passports has also been well documented? in Europe, it is very strange if someone doesnt have a passport. In fact, everyone wants to travel. I guess with lots of countries over a small area, its more of a necessity. I think travelling is soooo important to us Europeans. Without it, I think we would all go crazy!

So, shall I start the job hunting for you???
 
My brother is heading over to Dublin for work on Sunday. I am jealous of him. I want to go back. :scream:

I have only traveled overseas once and that was in 2002 and that was to Ireland.

I have been to Mexico, Canada and the Bahamas. You don't need a passport to visit those places if you are from the US.

And yes, I am American but I WANT to travel to other countries.

Dream would be to live overseas.

So yeah, hook me up with a job as well. I am looking for one right now.

oh and about your letter. I'd be really mad if I had to send that letter on behalf of your friend. :tsk: I hope you all get those things sorted.
 
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MissVelvetDress_75 said:
My brother is heading over to Dublin for work on Sunday. I am jealous of him. I want to go back. :scream:

I have only traveled overseas once and that was in 2002.

I have been to Mexico, Canada and the Bahamas. You don't need a passport to visit those places if you are traveling from the US.

And yes, I am American but I WANT to travel to other countries.

Dream would be to live overseas.

So yeah, hook me up with a job as well. I am looking for one right now.

oh and about your letter. I'd be really mad if I had to send that letter on behalf of your friend. :tsk: I hope you all get those things sorted.
Click to expand...

You know, time is a healer - whatever bad stuff that has happened, in time it will come out in the wash and will be forgotten. Just at this moment, its not something I want to do.

Have travelled a lot - actually yesterday I just found out at the end of the year I will be relocated to Asia which is brilliant! Have travelled thru Asia before but to work and live there permenently will be a whole new experience!

Ok, one country you have to travel to - best one I have ever been to - Namibia. On west Coast of Africa, just north of South Africa. Saw more wild animals there than in Serengetti (sp!), bigger sanddunes than the sahara, country is about 4/5 times bigger than the UK yet it only has a population of 2 million.. and.....

the beer is really really cheap!!
 
Party Boy said:
Job front - sorted - get you a job relatively easy (btw, what can you do!!?)

Passport - how come not everyone has a passport? Its a license to see the world - recommend it very very much!

Visa - well, difficult part - I used to be able to forge parents signiture on letters home from school. I could try to improvise a little....
Click to expand...
this is all very tempting :hmm:
 
MissVelvetDress_75 said:
:reject:

This is when I feel stupid talking to people outside of the US.
Click to expand...

You know. I lived in the US for 10 months (illegally.. sorry!) back in 1994 when I was.... 22 (am 32 now) and the job I had was relocating cars around the US. Was based in Chicago and we used to get paid 17 cents a mile. Saw pretty much most of US - we would pick a car up, say in Chicago, drop it in Boston, pick another car in Boston, drop it off in St. Louis or somewhere and so on. So we would zig zag across the US for maybe 3/4 weeks at a time before heading back to Chicago for maybe a week before heading off again.

Doing this, one of the things I found out mostly about Americans - I am trying not to generalise etc - is that a lot of your fellow country folk are quite insular. In the sense that a lot of people we met had never been out of their own county, never mind their own state, nevermind their own country. When we talked to these people why they never leave, most said that you know, America is great, everything we will ever need is on our doorstep so why would we want to go abroad? Which was an arguement I couldn't give a good response to, other than change is sometimes good.

However, I think that is changing, esp with younger generations - the world is smaller, flying is cheaper, strange countries are on the news all the time which makes people want to learn more about them and maybe visit. Being Irish, growing up any American tourists we saw generally were retirement age. Now we start to see younger ages which is great.

It probably doesn't help that external flights from the US are so expensive. One thing for certain is, the more you travel, the more you want to do it. Its like getting a tattoo or having a beer! One is never enough.... then two is never enough...!
 
Thankfully I have traveled all over the US. I have not visited all of the states but I have been to at least 40 and I think that is pretty good compared to most people I know. You are right about the traveling abroad bit. As soon as I was in Ireland I could not understand why it took me so long to go over seas. I got the bug to do more as soon as I left but the funds have been rather tight so I can't just travel the way I want to. I am 30 now and want to do and see a lot more and hopefully the means will be there to allow me to see more of the world.
 
Good! Hope it works out for you - make sure Namibia is on the list!!!!

Back to original thread.. "friend" just put money he owed me (he owed me around £200 for a few months) through the letter box without calling or knocking... hmm... strange.
 
Party Boy said:
a lot of people we met had never been out of their own county, never mind their own state, nevermind their own country.
Click to expand...
yeah that is pretty common. come to think of it, i don't think i know anyone who's travelled outside the states. i know one person who goes to canada a lot but that's because he lives in new york near the border.

yeah, like you said it's really expensive for us to travel abroad. i'd love to go all over europe (namely the u.k. - all of it, not just england - ireland, and germany) as well as australia. but it's so expensive. i really want to try to save up though and visit at least one of those countries.
 
Is it not possible for americans to get temporary or year long working visa's for other countries? There are programs in place which for e.g. allows Irish people to live and work in Australia or New Zealand for a year, once they go before they are 30 years old. Obviously with being in the EU, moving to other european countries has no visa restrictions which obviously allows people to travel a lot longer, or in a lot of cases, moving permenently to other countries.
 
Party Boy said:
Is it not possible for americans to get temporary or year long working visa's for other countries? There are programs in place which for e.g. allows Irish people to live and work in Australia or New Zealand for a year, once they go before they are 30 years old. Obviously with being in the EU, moving to other european countries has no visa restrictions which obviously allows people to travel a lot longer, or in a lot of cases, moving permenently to other countries.
Click to expand...
yeah. for a bit (let's not open THAT can of worms, shall we?) i'd considered moving to australia and i was going to get a working visa.
 
i was gonna go to be with this guy and it was a rebound thing for me. i'd just split up with my husband and i'd realized i didn't feel the way for him that i thought i did.

i'd still love to go there though.
 
Could you imagine ending up other side of the world with someone you think you love only to figure out its a rebound thing. When I lived in the US, my then-gf came with me. She got homesick and went back to Ireland after 6 months. I followed her back 5 months later only for us to split up 2 months later.....!
 
Party Boy said:
Could you imagine ending up other side of the world with someone you think you love only to figure out its a rebound thing. When I lived in the US, my then-gf came with me. She got homesick and went back to Ireland after 6 months. I followed her back 5 months later only for us to split up 2 months later.....!
Click to expand...
:yikes: yeah luckily i figured out pretty quickly. i hadn't bought a plane ticket or anything, thank god!
 
Party Boy said:
Good! Hope it works out for you - make sure Namibia is on the list!!!!

Back to original thread.. "friend" just put money he owed me (he owed me around £200 for a few months) through the letter box without calling or knocking... hmm... strange.
Click to expand...


im glad you got some money from him.

hope you get someone to move in with you soon!
 
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