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Old 05-02-2003, 02:13 AM   #1
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IT'S OFFICIAL #Melting Ceiling Fans

My cat is crying because she keeps climbing on my shoulders, and I put her on the floor, and she wants root beer, but the last time I gave her some she used it to buy crayons that weren't really crayons. They were actually tubes filled with Jack Daniels disguised to look like crayons. It's the feline equivalent of a flask.

Who's at the door??
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:20 AM   #2
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It was the dilly wagon driver. He smashed his dilly wagon into the palm tree in my front yard and struck Skittles. They are sprinkling down against the windows in this happy little candy dance. It makes the dogs cry, and it burns holes in my skin when I go outside. I just pull my knee socks up as high as they can go, and now I'm drivin' the dilly wagon!!!

WHAT???????

No more lime stars????????

Be gone, dilly wagon! BE GONE!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:26 AM   #3
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The sky yelled at me...and those damn stars hurt my feelings. I like to ride my bike over the sidewalk's scars because it makes me feel like I might be able to take out something that's permanent. It's those damn puddles in the middle of nowhere that get me though. The sun has been out all day, and all of the water has evaporated except for that one damn puddle. You wonder how it is still there...why it won't just go the hell away. It feels like it has a purpose, but we all know otherwise. Nobody tells the poor puddle though...nobody has the heart to be honest.

I didn't start liking waffle cones until about a year ago.
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:30 AM   #4
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We get disappointed too often because we build things up to be so fantastic in our minds. There are cities I've always wanted to go to, but I don't think I ever will. The cities I see in my mind are more beautiful than anything that could ever exist. If I go to the actual cities, my illusions will be shattered, and the reality of it will leave a bitter taste in my mouth. How disappointing.

Everything is happy in my mind. Even the dirt shimmers in here.
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:34 AM   #5
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ummm.... bonochick, is your clock melting off the wall too?

*points at clock oozing off the wall.
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:34 AM   #6
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You're never able to wash your hands of something if you use your own sink.
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:35 AM   #7
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*sigh*

Guess I need to buy more caramel...I'll make that puppy stick!!!!!! Stick it will!!! And it will liiiiiiiike it!
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:39 AM   #8
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one time?
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:42 AM   #9
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I made soldiers out of Ramen noodles, and they are defending my lawn furniture from lasers. It would be a shame if our lawn furniture were to be destroyed. There's nothing I like more than sitting at the big glass table in my cushy chair and sippin' lemonade underneath the navy blue and white striped umbrella.

If the floor turned into snails, I would start up the couch and float away to somewhere. I'd go to a place where paint is illegal, so all of the sunsets are real.

But perhaps I've said too much.

Millicent, my bubbles, please!
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:44 AM   #10
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One time, I was going to give bear some candy, but it got mixed up with my poison collection, and he ended up in the hospital. He got to meet world-famous Wiggen Tinkell though, and it launched his career up into the stars...you know...the ones that hurt my feelings...so all was forgiven.
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:48 AM   #11
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I used to keep my dreams in jars on my shelves, but the cats knocked them over, and they all broke open. I got dreams all over the place...it's such a mess. What's even worse is that they got mixed up with some "bad stuff"...for lack of a better description. That "bad stuff" is so...so...

*random voice* Bad?

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

*random voice* No, it's just me!

Wait a minute...since when did you become a dumb ass? You're supposed to just be a jack ass who makes me feel like shit.

*random voice* Umm...you're ugly?

That's better. I like stable relationships.
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:53 AM   #12
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The thing about listening to depressing music is that you can't let just the blue aspect of it get you down. You have to find strength in the sadness so that it inspires you to do something...so that it motivates you. It shouldn't just make you want to go and jump off of a bridge; it should make you want to build the bridge and then jump off of it.
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Old 05-02-2003, 03:02 AM   #13
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listening to Blues music gets my mojo flowin'
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Old 05-02-2003, 03:03 AM   #14
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I don't want to hear about your mojo, thank you very much!
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Old 05-02-2003, 03:05 AM   #15
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It brings a tear to my eye sometimes when I think about all of the money that I spend on things like magazines, candy, beer, and cheese. I think to myself, ya know...if I would take all of that money and put it in a little fund, I'd be able to save up enough money for something really important...something that could really have an impact on myself and those around me.

Like plastic surgery.
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Old 05-02-2003, 03:12 AM   #16
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One of my dogs is crying in the basement. It's annoying and frustrating because he has no reason to cry. I don't understand why he's so upset because there's nothing to be so upset about.

He probably thinks the same of me.
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Old 05-02-2003, 03:33 AM   #17
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Melt With Me

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Old 05-02-2003, 08:03 AM   #18
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you're scary BC

I went and saw Identity monday night
I hope none of your multiple personalities are murderers!
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Old 05-02-2003, 01:07 PM   #19
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"We're friendly, peaceful people...we're not the ones out there causing trouble!"
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Old 05-02-2003, 09:44 PM   #20
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