have a great break
These are known to be universal truths and have remained so since the beginnings of recorded time
1) Moles are always smaller than you imagine
2) You've never quite sure whether its ok to eat green crisps
3) Reading when you're drunk is horrible
4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
5) You're never quite sure whether its against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
6) Whatever your age the desire to make plastic dolls get it on is almost impossible to resist.
7) Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.
8) You never know where to look when eating an apple.
9) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
10) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
11) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
12) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
13) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
14) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
15) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
16) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a piss flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
17) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee.
18) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
19) You never ever run out of salt.
20) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
21) You can't respect a man who carries a dog
22) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
23) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
24) Despite constant warning you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
25) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
26) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
27) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.
28) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
29) Bricks are horrible to carry.
30) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
31) Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.
