It's Official Ho'ing Ain't Easy

[HelloAngel]

Okay.. slike, here's the story...

I live in a Country Club community where we have a Homeowners Association for the entire Subdivision, and another for the double-gated "village" where my house is.

Translation: I answer to too many fucking "good ole boys" who have nothing better to do than drive around on their golf carts and criticize people's lawns and landscaping.

I received a note from the Village's HomeOwner's Association (I call them the HOAs -> read: whores) stating that I "need to give attention to my lawn and planters." Right? Don't I have a lawn service to do that? They told me I was found in non-compliance with the Village's deed restrictions shrug: WTF???) and that I had 14 days (WOW!!) to fix the problem I should already be aware of. Damn.



So, Noodle has a Mike's Hard Lemonade, and let's all of this marinate for awhile.

30 minutes later I write a strongly-worded letter to the HOA.

One hour later, an ugly light blue minivan drives slowly by my house 3 times.

5pm rolls around and I hit the planters. I pull weeds like there's nobody's bidness. I'm pulling left and right, with my bare hands, crying because I think I'm gonna get an F, yet I'm not in school, but still think my sweaty 10th grade Geometry teacher Mr Randolph is hanging over me. I pull until it gets dark. I am possessed. I am officially HO'ING.

I have been in my yard all weekend, people. I know this is petty.. and I don't consider myself petty - but I now I have a new found respect for all lawn maintenance people. It's really really hard work that they do out there.

So, yeah.. the Noodle is a HO who bitched at another HOA who then drove by in the pimp mobile 3 times. The Noodle was back on the block the next day HO'ING for 5 hours, and was only approached by 2 grown men and one lonely wife.

 

[Screaming Flower]

god that sucks. i'm sorry you had to do that. you must be exhausted. country club old men can be real a**holes.

 

[HelloAngel]

yes they can and yes I am. so so so so tired. I am so achy and too young and immature to have this house and live in this neighborhood, but i appreciate every little thing I have.. it's just really dumb how small people can make you feel over shit like weeds and missing mulch.

it's so not my bag, baby.

 

[Sicy]

 

[Bonochick]

We used to live close to a country club, and my car ended up breaking down, and the nearest place to pull in was the fancy entry way to a little subdivision area. I had to use my cell to call my dad...but I didn't have the number yet, since we had moved recently. I went knocking on doors to find a phone book, and nobody would answer...even though I saw them in there. It took me like 20 minutes to find somebody who would talk to me. Then I had to sit on the curb and wait for Dad, and not one person stopped...they all just drove by slowly and stared at me like I was scum.

I hate snobs. Yay to the elderly couple who finally acknowledged me and loaned me their phone book!

Oh...and I HATE yardwork...people who maintain lawns and landscaping have A LOT of patience because it would drive me crazy!

 

[HelloAngel]

you guys are the best.

I am so thankful to the wonderful souls of IO.

My life is richer for you having been in it.

 

[Lemon Meringue]

evil weeds!

 

[Ali Rose]

Dood I'm all about the new innovation we have here called a "townhome". I will not have time to take care of my yard wehn i move out, yet i refuse to waste more money on rent.

And since i will clearly never get married, I shall pay someone else to do it. Go me.

Sorry bout yer day, noodle.

People suck

 

[adamswildhoney]

that sucks! I hate people that do things like that bc they act like they are so much better or something!!

 

[daisybean]

I can understand the HOA's wanting the community to look a certain may...many places do that...However, that is just so childish to drive real slow past your house a few times. What do they think, they are the Soprano's of gated communities or something?

Anyway I love gardening .... yeah I'm a nature freak

 

[bono-vox]

I love gardening well no actually I just like putting the seeds into pots and then letting them grow and I love cacti because they never need watered I have my sunflowers out the back they are about 8/9 feet tall- thats great imo! Except how do I get the seeds from the sunflowers??

What is a country club?

That sounds like back breaking work HA Buy lots of weedkiller to stop them growing back and then you can be lazy with your gardening

 

[Basstrap]

you should fight dirty!!

sabotage their lawns!

poor weeds...never get any respect

 

[Bonochick]

I Love Laughing Early In The Morning

What do they think, they are the Soprano's of gated communities or something?

 

[Lemon Meringue]

Sounds like those people need something to do. Hey! Maybe instead of wasting their time driving around gawking at your yard, they could come help you with it.

Nah...that would be too neighborly.

 

[HelloAngel]

Sounds like those people need something to do. Hey! Maybe instead of wasting their time driving around gawking at your yard, they could come help you with it.

Nah...that would be too neighborly.

You said it!!

Yeah.. I agree with daisybean.. the HOA is in their right to keep up the prestigious look of the village.. it's just that to send rude letters to you with little or no detail just seems to anger homeowners insted of assisting them in getting the job done quicker and easier.

 

[The_Sweetest_Thing]

The grass always does seem greener on the other side.


Poor you Angel. At least you spent some quality time with Mother Nature.

 

[nbcrusader]

Ahhh! HOA's are the bane of homeownership. I feel for ya HelloAngel!

In south Orange County (California) the vast majority of homes are in an HOA. If I ever buy a home again, it will not be in an HOA.

I was actually president of an HOA for 4 years (what was I thinking). I worked hard at keeping the focus of meetings to the business of the HOA - maintaining common areas. Month after month, people would arrive expecting the HOA to act as a dispute resolution service (when they never actually speak to their neighbors) to demanding the HOA police individual yards (as was HelloAngel's experience). I even had one homeowner demand that parents wash off driveways and sidewalks after kids would draw pictures with colored chalk.

I'm glad I moved out and never looked back.

 

[HelloAngel]

Ahhh! HOA's are the bane of homeownership. I feel for ya HelloAngel!

In south Orange County (California) the vast majority of homes are in an HOA. If I ever buy a home again, it will not be in an HOA.

I was actually president of an HOA for 4 years (what was I thinking). I worked hard at keeping the focus of meetings to the business of the HOA - maintaining common areas. Month after month, people would arrive expecting the HOA to act as a dispute resolution service (when they never actually speak to their neighbors) to demanding the HOA police individual yards (as was HelloAngel's experience). I even had one homeowner demand that parents wash off driveways and sidewalks after kids would draw pictures with colored chalk.

I'm glad I moved out and never looked back.

Wow!! Thank you so much for posting that! It's so good to hear about others experiences with this type of thing. Our neighbors don't talk to us much because we are the youngest homeowners in the village.. and sometimes I feel like one of them is reporting us just to try and get us out of here. We're more quiet at 25yrs of age than all of them are put together!!

FWIW - they still haven't replied to my letter the other day. Whatever. I dare them to find something wrong with my friggin yard now!

Seriously guys.. you've made me feel so much better about this silly little situation. I don't like making a bad impression, ya know?