IT'S OFFICIAL # Checking out

[zonelistener]

Television inspired me last night. I have a new life plan. It's time to check out at Mr. Jeff Zonelistenerson and change speeds.

I am giving up work, getting rid of most of my personal belongings and purchasing a full-bodied costume similar to this:

It will be even more difficult to find a job, but, I will make myself and children of all ages (1-109) smile from ear to ear when they walk down the street or get on a bus and see me as a big furry, non-descript creature.

Seeing the smiles through my mesh-covered eyeholes will stave off the lonely feeling of never being able to talk to people again.

Despite not having any money (I'm sure the government will provide me with some - and I can always find beds in shelters, churches and state-funded mental hospitals), I will be serving society in a very important way - SMILES. With this payment, I will be wealthy beyond any means.

So, as soon as I can pay off those pesky credit cards - I am checking out - and re-creating myself.

I am open to suggestions for names.

Hugs are free and smiles are mandatory.

Thank you for your time.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

sounds like fun to me

 

[meegannie]

Is that your costume, or are you still looking for one?

 

[zonelistener]

I am still looking for a costume. I would prefer a somewhat non-descript charachter, brown (doesn't get as dirty and hides stains), and kid friendly.

Bummer:they might not let me into concerts or on airplanes.
*Imagines TSA's reaction to a "costume charachter" trying to go through the scanners.

 

[Basstrap]

tsk tsk, zone

have you no pride?

 

[meegannie]

Say it's part of your religion.

http://www.facemakersincorporated.com/

 

[meegannie]

Ferocious bear makes me cry.

 

[zonelistener]

tsk tsk? Think of the kids, dammit

Pride?

This would be a venture to be proud of. Smiles are contagious.

In my research, I have found a few different sites for costume charachters. I did notice #104 Baby Koala (adult size). this may be a candidate.

 

[DiGi]

Can I be your kangaroo sidekick?

I might look something like this:

We could travel the country hustling and pan handling the streets and probably make a ton of cash

 

[meegannie]

at that costume, DiGi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, zoney, I thought baby koala was the best too.

or "goat."

 

[Basstrap]

If I saw that last costume I would probably cry

 

[meegannie]

I'm still laughing at that kangaroo.

 

[zonelistener]

join the movement

As long as we alter the mouth on the kangaroo (it scares me a bit) and you never pose like that - we would make a damn good team.

Remember though, if you choose this new lifestyle, you will not be able to speak as long as the costume is on - and alcohol and smoking is out (it's too expensive anyway). Think of it as a vow - much like a monk or something.

We will have a very important mission - hearty smiles across the world.

Costumed missionaries. While you are tooling around Alexandria, look into the possibility of a government-funded trip to Baghdad to bring smiles to the faces of the people of Iraq. We can follow our troops - after the damage has been done, we will swoop in. Imagine the place we will see while Bush is in office: Iraq, Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, North Korea, Canada....

 

[meegannie]

The kangaroo MUST stay the way it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I the only person who finds that picture absolutely hilarious?

 

[zonelistener]

The facial expression on the kangaroo looks like it has been run over by a fleet of Plymouth Reliant K-Cars and will soon be mounted on a hunter's wall.

 

[DiGi]

what makes you think there would not be a built in pouch of alcohol with a tube running from pouch to mouth, in both costumes?

Megan should be able to confirm that I have taken up a new pose as of late.

 

[meegannie]

That's why it's so funny!!!

 

[meegannie]

They have an Ody costume!

 

[DiGi]

The kangaroo MUST stay the way it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I the only person who finds that picture absolutely hilarious?

No - I think it is a riot. here are some more:
http://www.funfolly.com/h/mascots/040.htm

this one cracks me up:

there are Penguin's also

 

[meegannie]

!!!!!!

 

[zonelistener]

I love the squirrel

See. See. See.

Look at the joy we are bringing Meggie here.

Now imagine seeing a charachter on a park bench, reading the newspaper. Or as you get on the Metro. Or waiting in line at the grocery store with a full basket of breakfast cereal. Or riding a bicycle. Or, oh, just IMAGINE.

 

[DiGi]

its a gold mine

 

[meegannie]

I found one for deathbear:

 

[zonelistener]

Nothing says "I love you" like an onion (or is it an Eggplant?)

Any Love and Rocket fans out there that remember the "Ying Yang" video?

 

[jkayet]

that kangaroo is damn funny...

OMC, a fox...i'm SO in.

 

[Lilly]

crap, i was counting on entertainment

I will make myself and children of all ages (1-109) smile from ear to ear when they walk down the street or get on a bus and see me as a big furry, non-descript creature.

so i can't hire you for my 110th birthday?



can i wear this and join you? the job market being so welcoming to a college kid with no degrees, i thought i may take your path:

 

[meegannie]

Jenn, that fox costume may be your ticket to staying in England.

"What? That's not my passport! Do I look like a human to you?"

You can live in Sam's garden.

 

[FizzingWhizzbees]

Omigosh, @ the kangaroo! That thing made my day.

 

[kobayashi]

Ferocious bear makes me cry.

koala bear and her rather fetching look is making me shake.

 

[meegannie]

koala bear and her rather fetching look is making me shake.