Basstrap
ONE love, blood, life
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2000
- Messages
- 10,726
well people, after I log out here in the next few minutes I will not be in contact with you until teusday.
I'm going to Ontario; Hamilton to be precise.
why?
To visit my best friend.
who is this?
The girl who I have completely fallen for. The one who I spilled the beans to for the first time in my life. The one who I told was "So fucking beautiful".
I'm spending a good deal of money to go up and see her. I miss her sooooooo much and I just had to do it. Plus I had some money to go towards it from last time I traveled(they gave me a voucher).
My biggest fear is that I will get up there and she will have a sort of boyfriend. That would kill me. But in her class - in Recording Arts Canada - there are only two girls and 28 guys!! She must like at least one of them and all them like her because shes amazingly beautiful. So I figure at least one guy must have asked her out by now.
And its alright, she has to go for someone she falls for...and I'm not sure thats gonna be me. I can't help but feel I can't compete with 90% of the guys out there. I just dont have the looks or the charismatic personality that girls like. And I don't have curly hair...she loves curly hair cos she has it herself.
That night when I cried my eyes out as I tried to tell her how I felt she said she had been screwed over by her past couple boyfriends and was not wanting a relationship now BUT when she is ready maybe it will be me or somebody just like me...like that is supposed to be comforting! At the end of that night she said "I'm sorry" and kissed my hand. I'll never forget that as long as I live.
Then next day I got an e-mail from her and she was saying how she adores me and wishes she could make me happy. And that she was thinking about me being there to hold her.
Of course, all this has made me confused. I feel like I have a chance where there probably is no chance, I feel like I have hope where she is prolly just letting me down easy.
ahhhh!! anyway, I'm going out there this weekend. We're gonna have loads of fun, we always do, we get along sooo well and she makes me laugh until it hurts!
I could either come back in three ways:
-More depressed than I am
-The same as I am
-Or very very very happy
Oh yeah, Recording Arts Canada only accepts like 30 people from all canada and she got in!! I was so proud. Wheneven I release an album she will have to be my producer. She's an awesome piano player too.
Also!! I HATE PLANES!! I hate flying. I feel nervous, like I could be one of those newsclips you see on TV about a plane going down. I don't want to crash.
Please keep me in your prayers or thoughts or whatever you do!
I'm going to Ontario; Hamilton to be precise.
why?
To visit my best friend.
who is this?
The girl who I have completely fallen for. The one who I spilled the beans to for the first time in my life. The one who I told was "So fucking beautiful".
I'm spending a good deal of money to go up and see her. I miss her sooooooo much and I just had to do it. Plus I had some money to go towards it from last time I traveled(they gave me a voucher).
My biggest fear is that I will get up there and she will have a sort of boyfriend. That would kill me. But in her class - in Recording Arts Canada - there are only two girls and 28 guys!! She must like at least one of them and all them like her because shes amazingly beautiful. So I figure at least one guy must have asked her out by now.
And its alright, she has to go for someone she falls for...and I'm not sure thats gonna be me. I can't help but feel I can't compete with 90% of the guys out there. I just dont have the looks or the charismatic personality that girls like. And I don't have curly hair...she loves curly hair cos she has it herself.
That night when I cried my eyes out as I tried to tell her how I felt she said she had been screwed over by her past couple boyfriends and was not wanting a relationship now BUT when she is ready maybe it will be me or somebody just like me...like that is supposed to be comforting! At the end of that night she said "I'm sorry" and kissed my hand. I'll never forget that as long as I live.
Then next day I got an e-mail from her and she was saying how she adores me and wishes she could make me happy. And that she was thinking about me being there to hold her.
Of course, all this has made me confused. I feel like I have a chance where there probably is no chance, I feel like I have hope where she is prolly just letting me down easy.
ahhhh!! anyway, I'm going out there this weekend. We're gonna have loads of fun, we always do, we get along sooo well and she makes me laugh until it hurts!
I could either come back in three ways:
-More depressed than I am
-The same as I am
-Or very very very happy
Oh yeah, Recording Arts Canada only accepts like 30 people from all canada and she got in!! I was so proud. Wheneven I release an album she will have to be my producer. She's an awesome piano player too.
Also!! I HATE PLANES!! I hate flying. I feel nervous, like I could be one of those newsclips you see on TV about a plane going down. I don't want to crash.
Please keep me in your prayers or thoughts or whatever you do!
