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Old 05-09-2007, 10:34 AM   #1
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IO....This is funny...AND true-ish

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbour has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbour has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:36 AM   #2
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Re: IO....This is funny...AND true-ish

Quote:
Originally posted by gman
Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbour has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
I have two dogs.
My neighbor has a pool.
I feel guilty because my dogs want a pool.
Barbara Streisand does my laundry.
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:44 AM   #3
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Re: Re: IO....This is funny...AND true-ish

Quote:
Originally posted by Bonochick


I have two dogs.
My neighbor has a pool.
I feel guilty because my dogs want a pool.
Barbara Streisand does my laundry.
Answer..........sell yer dogs to neighbour, but overcharge him/her, allowiing you two buy two more dogs AND a pool......problem solved.
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:46 AM   #4
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The chocolate lab has gotten loose and pooped on his lawn a couple times, so he hasn't made the greatest impression.

Yes, we picked it up, we're responsible.
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:55 AM   #5
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And i thought it was just cats that crapped in other ppls gardens. Am at war wi one cat myself at the mo (not literally as i type!!) for the self same issue. In fact, ALL cats will now be chased and/or scared off. its my garden, not theirs, al decide who gets to shit on it
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Old 05-09-2007, 11:16 AM   #6
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If you want your neighbors to like you, don't poo in their yards. That's one of my life tips.
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Old 05-09-2007, 04:54 PM   #7
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Big Grin I poop on this thread

Quote:
Originally posted by Bonochick
If you want your neighbors to like you, don't poo in their yards. That's one of my life tips.
I call it "fertilizing" - not poo-ing!
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