IO: I've had it with feminine hygiene products

[Carek1230]

I've sent a letter to the leading company in feminine products on the market today. I share with you:


Dear Kotex,

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my
pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it.
Annoying advice such as:
-Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
-Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
-Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and
feeling fresh.
-Try Kotex blah blah blah other products

Obviously the person behind this was someone who has
never possessed a functioning set of ovaries.

Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman TO HER FACE
that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her
feeling fresh. See what happens and report back.
I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and
remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I
guarandamntee that the first responders will be
females who just ovulated.

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on
feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already
hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly
relatives. Veteran females have already concocted
their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol.

Printing out sh*t advice while sneaking in ads for the
brand THAT WAS ALREADY PURCHASED is just plain
annoying, not to mention rude and enough to send a
girl running to the Always brand.

Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these
products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to
cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or
flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging.
Put the sh*t in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw
it in our carts discreetly and have it
blend in among the wine and beer. There is nothing
more annoying than having a blinding pink package
announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store.

The ultimate goal of your product should be functional
invisibility at every stage, including at the point of
purchase.

So take your tips for living and shove them right up
your a**. (Try drinking six to eight glasses of water
to make you feel fresher while you're doing it!)

Ovarily Yours,


Miss PMS

 

[Lila64]

 

[smurf_sista]

lol mine have little freaky facts on the wrapper

 

[hay]

!!
I'm with you all the way and yeah mine have the stupid tips and 'odd spots' facts on them
Eg
If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white AND! In the last 4000 yrs no new animals have been domesticated

I mean wow, but who really cares

 

[smurf_sista]

ha i did my science assignmant on goldfish..... they dont turn white and i left them in a dark room for about two months

 

[MsGiggles]

Can you imagine their response to a letter like that? Will probably be free feminine products for a year - the ones with sayings on them

 

[Numb1075]

well put

<-------runs out of thread QUICK

 

[one4u2]

 

[shari schultz]

BRILLIANT!

 

[redkat]

please post a response if you get one

 

[verte76]

Good advice.

 

[murray_all_nite]

woo you must have lots of time to write such letters

:jealous:

 

[beegee]

nah, it only takes a second to copy and paste

 

[Thora]

Great letter, Carek! I feel the same way.

 

[murray_all_nite]

nah, it only takes a second to copy and paste

I mean to WRITE it.

 

[MissMaCo]

I hope you'll get an answer !

 

[Niamh_Saoirse]

If somebody tried to take my coffee away from me during that time of the month, they would instantly be missing one hand. *chop chop*

 

[beegee]

I mean to WRITE it.

this letter is all over the internet.

google the first few lines.

 

[MissMaCo]

this letter is all over the internet.

google the first few lines.

really? I thought the lady wrote it by herself.

 

[murray_all_nite]

this letter is all over the internet.

google the first few lines.

oh I missed that

 

[macphister]

I'm so glad I'm a man.......

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

^Yes, you should be!


Hmm, let's see. Today I have been sitting in bed for several hours with a heating pad on my belly to help with those painful cramps. That seemed to be a better option to being active. However , I was very active earlier today, and did drink a lot of water. This only caused me to have a heavier flow. Clever marketing trick? I think so.

Even if this was a letter that has been floating around the internet, it is funny as hell.

 

[shari schultz]

http://underpaidkeptwoman.blogspot.com/

some pretty funny writing here..............
under previous posts, the last one in the list is the above letter.

 

[tiny dancer]

Great letter, Carek! I feel the same way.

Ditto here too Carek!

 

[joyfulgirl]

Wow, well, I guess I'm going to be the party pooper here. I realize that this is all in good fun and maybe I should not try to inject a serious tone here, and I do agree that the pantiliner strip is annoying as are most marketing techniques around feminine hygeine products...

yet, I have always tried to monitor my diet and exercise during my cycle, and take certain supplements, and guess what? I actually have no idea what cramps and PMS are. I don't experience it. Some of the annoying advice actually works (don't mess with my coffee, though).

When women complain about PMS and cramps I try not to be annoying about giving advice but I do suggest that women really do not have to have a bad time with their periods unless they have some unusual circumstances.

Now, the beef I have with feminine hygeine products is all the scented items that we're supposed to insert so that we smell fresh inside.

 

[zoney!]

I joyfulgirl!

 

[Carek1230]

nah, it only takes a second to copy and paste

Ah ha and I did cut and paste! Congrats on doing your homework, bg! I thought it was hysterical when I came
across this and thought it would be comical for those
who peruse the threads here.

For those who got a laff out of it, I am glad you enjoyed
the humor. For any who may have been offended, my
apologies. For those waiting for a posting of the real response,
that won't happen. Too bad tho, coulda been interesting!

 

[zoney!]

FW:

Homework?

It was sitting in my e-mail inbox with ten FW: attached.

Cheater.

 

[joyfulgirl]

Ah ha and I did cut and paste! Congrats on doing your homework, bg! I thought it was hysterical when I came
across this and thought it would be comical for those
who peruse the threads here.

For those who got a laff out of it, I am glad you enjoyed
the humor. For any who may have been offended, my
apologies. For those waiting for a posting of the real response,
that won't happen. Too bad tho, coulda been interesting!

Okay, I have to redeem myself from wet blanket status now.

So I suggest that scented tampons are like sticking a mint up your butt.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

yet, I have always tried to monitor my diet and exercise during my cycle, and take certain supplements, and guess what? I actually have no idea what cramps and PMS are. I don't experience it. Some of the annoying advice actually works (don't mess with my coffee, though).

When women complain about PMS and cramps I try not to be annoying about giving advice but I do suggest that women really do not have to have a bad time with their periods unless they have some unusual circumstances.

that is great. I wish I could say that. I have had problems with my cycles since I started and up until my mid 20's I was a very active in athletics and it never made a difference with the painful back cramp pains I have always had. I suppose that can be blamed on the way my uterus is tilted.