IO: I'm A Hot Commodity

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Positition: Personal Assistant to BAW

Qualifications:

Must be computer literate
Have the ability to make up good excuses to the clients when Mr. BAW is late with his reports
Must be willing to watch Judge Joe Brown with BAW every afternoon
Must love to shop
Must be willing to be Mr. BAW's "carpool bitch" when BAW is unavailable (he'll buy you lunch)
A little typing/filing/answering phones may be necessary


Benefits:

Unlimited internet access with Blue Crack privileges
TV/DVD player access
U2 library/shrine on-site
Regular trips to Target
The occasional excursion to Disneyland with BAW & Doozer
Coffee, bottled water, lunch and snacks provided
 
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Interested?:hmm:
 
I'm going to start a fabulous business next year working from home. You're more than welcome to be my business partner! I have no idea what we will do, or what the pay will be like (I'm aiming for superb at this stage) but there will be benefits somewhere!
 
Thank you for submitting your resume. We are currently reviewing it. If it fits the qualifications for the job you have applied for, we will call you for an interview.

We can't possibly get back to the billions of people that supposedly send us resumes, so, if you do not hear from us...shove it. We just might keep your resume, or we may recycle it into toilet paper.

Thank you again for your interest in (insert company name here).
 
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