meegannie
Blue Crack Addict
We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND.
Rich people should be taxed to pay for the printing of money, as they use most of it.
Tax credits will be paid to nice people. There will be a “total bastard” tax for everyone else.
It will be legal to keep Tapirs. People will be encouraged to keep them as pets because they are very funny and will cheer up the population no end.
Anyone keeping crocodiles will have to have their teeth removed. But the crocodiles won’t.
We will raise the old age pension to £2,000 a week for every pensioner who, for a period of more than 6 days, manages not to bore everyone witless about how brilliant their grandchildren are. To ease the transition period, special centres will be built where they may go once a week and rattle on about them. Unemployed people will be paid a ‘Bore Allowance’ of £27-50 a day to sit in front of them pretending to give a damn and saying “Mmm, how interesting” and “Really, well I never” and other statements as determined by the government. Tea and biscuits will be provided and the Samaritans will be on hand to council any of the ‘Bore Allowance’ volunteers.
To keep up with the present government we promise to introduce many policies that have not been thought through properly, purely for cheap votes.
These include:
* Making everyone a lottery winner
* Providing beer for school children
* Giving everyone a quid who votes for us
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND.
Rich people should be taxed to pay for the printing of money, as they use most of it.
Tax credits will be paid to nice people. There will be a “total bastard” tax for everyone else.
It will be legal to keep Tapirs. People will be encouraged to keep them as pets because they are very funny and will cheer up the population no end.
Anyone keeping crocodiles will have to have their teeth removed. But the crocodiles won’t.
We will raise the old age pension to £2,000 a week for every pensioner who, for a period of more than 6 days, manages not to bore everyone witless about how brilliant their grandchildren are. To ease the transition period, special centres will be built where they may go once a week and rattle on about them. Unemployed people will be paid a ‘Bore Allowance’ of £27-50 a day to sit in front of them pretending to give a damn and saying “Mmm, how interesting” and “Really, well I never” and other statements as determined by the government. Tea and biscuits will be provided and the Samaritans will be on hand to council any of the ‘Bore Allowance’ volunteers.
To keep up with the present government we promise to introduce many policies that have not been thought through properly, purely for cheap votes.
These include:
* Making everyone a lottery winner
* Providing beer for school children
* Giving everyone a quid who votes for us
monster raving loony party 
