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Old 06-24-2003, 11:58 AM   #1
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I officially need some advice...*sigh*(it is guy related)

first and foremost this is possibly my first serious thread ever

Well folks, I want to hear your opinions.
I've already talked to a lot of people about this but I get different responses from everyone and well hell, I could use a few more opinions.

Let's begin shall we.....

I'm not a clingy person at all.
I don't expect people to call me every single minute of the day, etc.
Well I'm dating this guy who has a demanding job and on average, I only get to talk to him every 4 or 5 days and see him less than that. It's not enough. I really really like this guy. ( I am smiling right now just thinking about him) So, here's the problem. If I have a problem with not seeing him enough now when we aren't serious, it's going to be torture if/when we do get serious.
SO.....the whole point of this thread....I think I'm going to go ahead and end the relationship now. His job isn't going to become less demanding, and I'm not going to change the way I feel. And I apologize for the lack of better words, but this really sucks because we are perfect for each other. Meh.

So, what do y'all think?
Think I should go ahead and end it now? I'm just trying to be smart about it and am trying to use common sense.
Thoughts? Opinions? Ideas? Complaints
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Old 06-24-2003, 12:03 PM   #2
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I have no ideas, opinions or advice on relationships

sorry
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Old 06-24-2003, 12:18 PM   #3
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I've got no real advice either excpet that perhaps you should let him know how you feel before you break it off. He might feel the same and be able to find a way to adjust his time so you can see each other more often.
Either way, it doesn't sound like an ideal situation.

Hope it all works out
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Old 06-24-2003, 01:46 PM   #4
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I'll jump in.

If you really like him, stick around. No, his job won't get less demanding, but you enjoy your time with him, so why stop? Does he like you as much as you like him? If so, don't go! Don't give up what may be a wonderful thing because his job takes a lot of his time. You'll be sorry if you do. He'll be the one that got away.

Talk to him about it, sure, but don't issue any ultimatums. Don't ask him to choose between you and his job. Play it cool. Tell him how much you enjoy his company, and then giggle and say you wish you could spend even more time with him. It's the truth.
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Old 06-24-2003, 02:28 PM   #5
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What is/will be HIS level of commitment to the relationship?
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Old 06-24-2003, 02:39 PM   #6
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I agree with martha. Isn't it better to have some time with someone you really like than none at all? You really can't know what the future holds for his job situation. Maybe if your relationship does get more serious you'll be able to work something out. Hang in there for now...see what happens.
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Old 06-24-2003, 04:05 PM   #7
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i say stick around and don't give up. however it is important to find out what his level of commitment is to the relationship.
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Old 06-24-2003, 04:23 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
What is/will be HIS level of commitment to the relationship?


I don't know really.

I'm just going to have to talk to him, which is going to be hard because I don't want to sound too pushy or demanding.
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Old 06-24-2003, 04:32 PM   #9
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sorry, im one of those negative people. if his level of commitment to you is not the same as yours you should end it now while you can. it'll hurt, but you'll save yourself alot more heartache in the end.

im sure you'll make the right decision, boomer. either way, i hope it works out for you
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Old 06-24-2003, 04:32 PM   #10
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i hate having those conversations. i understand how difficult and challenging those converations can be because you don't want to come off being overly possesive or dependent on him.

when i had that conversation the first time with my ex-boyfriend i might as well have issued him his last rites. talk about a guy totally freaking out and shutting down. it made the conversation and the relationship even more difficult because he was not open and willing to talk about our relationship and what he wanted out of it. i had to make my own decisions and conclusions because all he would give me in response is bitter silence.

/my own personal rant.

anyway steph, good luck i do wish you the best, but it is important to find out his intentions on the relationship.
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Old 06-24-2003, 04:36 PM   #11
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I know I know.
And I agree with y'all.
If he doesn't have the same level of commitment , than I am going to end it...but I'm afraid he does or maybe more.
I don't see it as being negative necessarily, but just realistic.


oh and.....thanks girls
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Old 06-24-2003, 05:15 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by *BOOMCHAA!*

..but I'm afraid he does or maybe more.
This sounds promising! And The Talk doesn't have to be The Big Commitment Talk. It can just be "Hey, big hunk o' cuteness. I really like spending time with you! I wish we could spend more time together, but I know you have a tough job commitment. I respect the time you put into your job. I'm looking forward to seeing you when you're not so dang busy." Then give him your most charming smile.


It'll work. Trust your Auntie Martha.
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Old 06-24-2003, 05:24 PM   #13
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hahhahah that's smooth
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Old 06-24-2003, 07:31 PM   #14
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I'd try not to over-analyze the situation, which can leave you more confused than when you started. If it's meant to be, things will work out. There's nothing wrong, of course, with being prepared. Good luck!
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Old 06-26-2003, 01:15 PM   #15
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Oh yeah,
just to update anyone who might be interested....


Things didn't work out.
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Old 06-26-2003, 01:36 PM   #16
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Damn...this is heart breaking.

Boomer

I am not sure how I missed this thread...and was not around to give you a guys opinion (because you know they are always sooooo helpful).

Sorry.
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Old 06-26-2003, 01:43 PM   #17
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it's ok Zoney
your opinion wouldn't have kept the inevitable from happening.

don't feel bad or anything, it's ok.
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Old 06-26-2003, 02:40 PM   #18
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Old 06-27-2003, 12:28 AM   #19
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Sorry, babe.
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Old 06-27-2003, 01:51 AM   #20
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well now you can go out with me!
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