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Old 08-15-2008, 12:58 AM   #1
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You know, in the right light, Chris Martin does sort of look like...

I know some of you have been itching for a new cartoon from me for quite some time, and rest assured that I haven't forgotten about my obligation to bring the lulz. Unfortunately, my hubris has gotten the best of me, and I wrote an episode far above my station. It's about the oft-discussed topic of Coldplay's perennial wish to be the next U2. Obviously, there is many different sides to the argument, and I ended up writing WAY more material than I could possibly use. When I attempted to animate it, I made it about a page in and nearly beat my face against the keyboard until I lost consciousness. To prevent myself from doing that, I decided to just give up and post the script here instead. Enjoy!

(Mods: please make an exception and keep this thread here in EYKIW instead of Fan Fiction, as it's far too long for that section and, after all, it's a script for a cartoon that would have been moved here anyway. Plus, the bulk of the U2/Coldplay debating has been done here.)

"I Will Trie 2 Fixx U"
A thesis of a humorous nature, authored by LemonMelon, which is, in fact, a pseudonym

[Camera shows a building called CelebMart, with a subtitle below it reading "They don't know you're here: we promise". Crowds of people are surrounding the building.]

Chris Martin [from the back of the limo]: What's holding things up? I need to get back to contemplating the Speed Of Life sometime today.

Driver: I'm not sure. [they're running over countless people, who are getting stuck under the wheels]

CMart: Well, hurry it up or I'll have to once again calmly discuss with you the sorrow these inconveniences cause me.

[They step out and walk to the store]

Man: You sound like other rock groups that you like!


[in the store]

Jonny Buckland: Phew. They really need to rename this place.

CMart: And relocate it to some place with a tree. I'm feeling creatively stifled. Anyone have a record player on their person?

[shopping for tampons]

Jonny: Look at this box! It's YELLOW!

CMart: You know not of what you speak.

Jonny: It's like our song "Yellow"! What do I win?

CMart: You win nothing, because hygiene is sirius bizness. And besides, your joke wasn't funny. Now that we're famous, nothing is allowed to amuse us in any way.

Jonny: Aww...Chris...I remember when you used to do wild stuff like..............[pauses, looks around] Hey, is that Bono? [Bono looks out of shape and is sweating while pushing a shopping cart] Wow, I've always wondered how he keeps in shape when he wasn't winning Grammys, and now I know.

CMart: Oh, fuck no! Not now! How's my hair?

Jonny: Poodle-esque.

CMart: It's all downhill from there.

Bono: Hello, boys! How goes it?

Jonny: Pretty well! Our album just hit #1. It's pretty sweet. But, at the end of the day, you still have to shop for your own tampons, eh?

Bono: Hahaha, I know how that goes.

CMart: [nervous] Those are very nice shades you're wearing, Bono. I have a pair at home.

Bono: Hey, I saw your iPod commercial. Nice coloring! We're going to be doing another for our new song, "Western Politics And The Kingdom Of Kneel (Which Is Africa, If That's Too Subtle)", later this month. It's a pretty catchy song, as you can imagine. We were going to name the album after it, but decided that we wanted it to be longer.

CMart: What did you think of my dancing? I choreographed it while watching Rattle & Hum. Pure coincidence, of course.

Bono: To be honest, it kind of freaked me out. [CMart looks sad] Yeah. Well, I gotta go film a video for We started mailing it in months ago when we ran out of creative ways to infuriate the fans, but what the hell. [walks away]

Bono: [talking to the camera like it's a baby] And this where I shop for cantaloupe. It costs $23 a pound here because it's for rich people like me. [Rosie O' Donnell crashes into his cart, he drops his wallet] Hey, fat arse, watch where you're going!

Rosie: Hey, maybe if you stop wearing sunglasses indoors like a douchebag, you'd know where you are for once.

Bono: .......Touché.

CMart: I look pretty lame right about now, don't I, Jonny?

Jonny: Oh, come're the king of cool! You were making catchy soundscapes in the womb, but that doesn't mean you're not immune to being a wee bit starstruck, eh?

CMart: Fair point. I have written a lyric or two about being fearless and brave, so that must mean that I actually am! [sees wallet near his shoe, recoils] Oh shit, what is that?

Jonny: It looks like Bono's wallet. There's a picture of him in here, £200,000 and a bunch of credit cards. Must have been going shopping.

CMart: Is the picture his driver's license?

Jonny:'s just a picture of him. He doesn't appear to have a license.

CMart: Hey, what's this disc for?

Jonny: Maybe it contains the blueprint for eliminating global poverty.

CMart: No, even better: THIS IS THE NEW U2 ALBUM! ZOMG.

Jonny: Let's finish this shopping and crank it up in the car!

CMart: [shifty] Remind me to pick up some notebook paper and a tape recorder on the way out.

[in the car, which is an SUV]

Jonny: Party on, Chris?

CMart: Party on, Jonny!

[they both start headbanging]

CMart: Hmm...maybe we should start the car first.

Jonny: Yeah, probably.

[CMart is sitting on his bed, there's a hole in his wall from the car crashing through it]

CMart: Phew. These lyrics are actually good. "Paying tribute" to Bono is going to be a bit tricky now.

Guy Berryman: What are you doing in here, Chris?

CMart: Working on a new look for the tour. I came up with it whilst observing little Moses in the parlor. That's how all great art comes about, or so I hear. Also, I brought down from the attic some of my great-great-great-great grandfather's clothes from the Revolutionary War for you to try on.

GB: [nervous] Oh. So, how's the new U2 album?

CMart:'s pretty good, I'd say. There's this one song on it that kind of reminds me of a song I haven't written yet.

GB: That's cool.

CMart: You know, it's the strangest thing, but I think I'm feeling inspiration hit. Let's go down to the recording studio to make sure.

[in the studio]

CMart: So, it's decided. Our new direction will be defined by us as "telekinetic electro, with strands of room-temperature metal and Peruvian influences."

Will Champion: But it'll actually just sound the same as everything else we've done, right?

CMart: Absolutely.

Jonny: Shouldn't you return Bono's wallet to him soon?

CMart: I will as soon as I burn a copy for Gwyneth and I to shag to. I want Citrus Burst Martin to be conceived the way I've always wanted to have been.

[at Bono's gold-plated kneel house]

Jonny: Go on!

CMart: I's my hair?

Jonny: Slightly less poodle-esque. You look more like a beagle today. Now, get over there!

[creeps up to the house, knocks on the door]

Bono: Oh, thank God, the CD! We were about to start recording all over again...

Brian Eno: Who's at the d-OH SNAP! [runs away]

CMart: Yeah, I brought it back for you...

Bono: Man, I thought you guys stole from us before, but I never took it literally.

CMart: Heh, yeah. Bono, would you like to, maybe, if you're free sometime...

Bono: Chrissy, do you want to go to lunch? I've already had one, but the tour doesn't start for a few more months, so what the hell.

CMart: Hold on a second. I have to check my day planner in that bush over there. [runs away]

CMart: I'M GOING TO LUNCH WITH BONO!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111

Jonny: Oh man, you are the luckiest guy ever! You've got to, like, film it and stuff!

CMart: Already got the batteries charged!

Bono: What the hell are you two doing?

CMart: [looking down at the camera] Oh, uh, it appears that I have a free spot in my day planner, as you can see.

[Shows the Temple Bar, man on fire goes flying through the window]

CMart: So, this is where it all happens.

Bono: Well, I get loaded here. I guess that's something.

[insert jokes about how frightening and filthy the place is in the background]

CMart: [sitting down] So, what's good on the menu?

Bono: Uhh...I wouldn't order the food if I were you. And I guess I am you, sort of. Just put the menu down and pretend it isn't there.

Waiter: So, what'll it be?

Bono: I'll have a Guinness.

Waiter: And the teen with bad facial hair?

CMart:, please!

Bono: Good call, mate! You're one of the guys now!

CMart: So, Bono, I've always wanted to ask do you create the Eternal song? I've bought about 30 books on the subject, but can't seem to figure it out.

Bono: Hahahaha...that's easy. Our newest song is totally Eternal. First you-hey, is that Thom Yorke? Hold on, I'm going over there for a second.

CMart: [stares over to their table dreamily, then gets cracked over the head with a pool cue, and thrown out of the window whilst on fire]

[in the local hospital]

CMart: Ugh...where am I?

Doctor: You're in hospital. You got smacked with a pool cue and passed out instantaneously. Some witnesses claim you did before it even made contact.

CMart: Did it hit my face????

Doctor: No, but a few more inches over and it could have been ...ugly for you. Heh.

CMart: Wait...what...what happened to Bono?

Doctor: He left you this box.

CMart: [opens the box, which contains a really nasty looking burger and a note that reads "Told you the food was terrible. Thom says 'hi' in a detached manner."] I should write some obtuse lyrics about this.

CMart: [back at home, he calls up Bono, the message is him singing Vertigo at a party] Uh, hi, Bono. This is Chris Martin...the singer of Coldplay? We wrote Yellow? Anyway, yeah, umm...just wanted to say that I had a great time the other day and that we should totally do it again sometime. We had a great conversation going and I think that...

Gwyneth: Chris, who are you talking to?

CMart: Oh, shit! [hangs up]

CMart: [logs on to MSN, "itspronouncedbano" logs off every time he logs on, and logs on every time he logs off, he looks down, despondent]

Bono: What the hell is wrong with this router today? [goes outside, looks up at the telephone wire, and a bird is bouncing on it] Hey, get off of there! You're screwing up a seminal MSN conversation with George Bush! [tosses a rock at it, and the rock doesn't even reach it] OK, fine, I'll re-write One Bird so it doesn't have such an anti-fowl slant. Happy? [flies off] Dammit. That was the best part. [all it did was fly down to pick up a worm]

[Bono walks back in the house, opens his bag of fan mail, leaving Bush hanging, sees CMart's letter]

CMart: [reads Bono's letter, which reads "Thank you for your interest in the One Campaign. Enclosed is a pamphlet that may be of interest to you* (*this pamphlet may not be related to the One Campaign, nor be of interest to you) signed, Brad Pitt"] Grr...

CMart: [looks over at the clock, it's 10:30 PM, starts writing with a rhyming dictionary, time passes, looks over, and it's 11:15 PM, calls Bono up] Hey, Bono. I just wanted to call you up to say that I stayed up all night writing a song about how you've been treating me lately. I don't have the band with me, but the song has acoustic guitar and swooning strings. It's Coldplay's Long And Winding Road, but more epic. The Beatles are my new favorite band now, by the way.

My love is like a fountain
And your love was a mountain
A real big rock
Where we used to talk
We met in the city
Where the lights were really pretty
We had a bite to eat
In a shop that was on the street
I went through the window
And you were in a meadow
Talking to a guy
Who had a lazy eye
I gave you a call
You didn't care at all
What the fuck, man?
That wasn't part of the plan
Now the books have been closed
And this is the song I composed
In the dead of the night
When nothing was going right
And it's still pretty bad
You make me so sad
The desert of our love is dry
And cold like a pie
That's been cooling
For far too long
See how I broke rhyme there?
That's clever
Something you'll never understand
You egotistical windbag
Fuck off

CMart: [later that night, CMart looks despondent and scared] Why hasn't he called me back??? Maybe he was just pwned so greatly that he couldn't possibly respond? Or maybe I hurt his feelings...

Gwyneth: Or maybe it's because it's 3:40 AM and he doesn't care to begin with?

CMart: I've got to give him another call! That'll fix everything, just like it did before! [calls Bono] Hey, Bono...remember that last message I sent you? Well...hahaha...I was just joking! Yeah, all that stuff about you being an egotistical windbag? I meant "really cool dude", obviously! Besides, it was really late, and I've got to remember to avoid the unsalted tree bark before bed. Uh...I'll talk to you tomorrow. [hangs up] Whew.

[the next day, CMart shows up at Bono's front door and looks really exhausted and upset]

Bono: Wha....

CMart: Hey, remember me? It's Chris Martin, singer of Coldplay. We wrote Yellow.

Bono: Yeah...what's up?

CMart: Why haven't you returned my calls, letters, emails???

Bono: I dunno...probably dropped my phone somewhere...don't you know me at all?

CMart: I call bullshit. Maybe if you cared more about your fans and official website than the starving children, you'd actually have some fans left. You certainly don't have me anymore!

Bono: Wait, who are you?

CMart: I'm Chris Martin, bitch! Your biggest fan has just become your worst nightmare!

Bono: Ugh...I need some coffee.

CMart: Believe me, if you ever drop your wallet again, no way am I returning it this time. And, on top of that, my band isn't going to rip you guys off anymore! Then who's going to make you look good, huh? No one! [he storms off]

Bono: Why would I lose something that's so important to my day-to-day existence? After all, I've never lost my sunglasses, not even once. [he's not wearing glasses]

[camera shows a hand holding a wallet, it zooms out showing CMart surfing PLEBA]

Johnny: You're going on PLEBA to find ways to look like Bono now? You really have lost your mind.

CMart: Actually, I go here every day, but I really should look into that.

[At HQ]

Edge: You lost the album again????

Bono: Well, technically, I lost my wallet................and the album, by extension, obviously.

Edge: Obviously. What are we supposed to tell McGuinness now? I told you to leave the album in your glove compartment!

Bono: Yeah, but see, that makes sense.

Larry: Let's tell him that "we're on it now", but to push the release date back to December 2011 anyway.

Adam: But that could conflict with the release of Chinese Democracy!

Edge: OK, let's tell him the truth, but make him a big dinner first.

Bono: You mean, pay someone else to make him a big dinner for us?

Edge: We might as well go to the store and get some more alcohol. It'll make us invulnerable to his criticism.

Adam: And drunk.

Larry: [walking out] I don't see what the big deal is about losing the album. I couldn't hear a single on there anyway.

[at CelebMart]

CMart: [dressed as Bono, spots U2 near the alcohol section] Hey, guys, I think we're going to need alcohol for this "We're Rich And Famous And Want To Have A Party Because We Can" party I decided we should have just a few minutes ago. I'm going to go over to the alcohol section for a second and buy us some alcohol. Yeah. [runs over to the register, grabs the microphone] Sale on already overpriced sunglasses in aisle 3!

Bono: Oh, can I go look at them, Edge? Can I?

Edge: [staring down, looking annoyed] Yes, go...

CMart: Mwahahahaha!!! Crono always wins!

[CMart walks over]

CMart: Hey, guys. I'm Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2. We wrote a song that inspired Yellow.

Edge: Yes, we know. You've told us three times today. How were the glasses?

CMart: Not idealistic enough. Plus, they were a little small for my head.

Adam: Figures.

CMart: Why don't we quickly pack this up and get going before...

Rob: Hi, my name is Rob! I'm your biggest fan, Mr. Martin! I have this friend who thinks that U2 and Coldplay sound alike, but I told him that he was crazy. You guys are cracking! Do you think you're in any way inspired by Bono?

CMart: Uhhh...I don't like talking about things. Besides, I am Bono, and I'm in quite a hurry.

Rob: [looking unsure and dejected] Whatever you say, Chris Martin...[walks away]

Edge: That damn Coldplay is getting too popular for their own good. It seems more people get you two confused every day.

CMart: Heh heh...yeah. Let's go, please. [at the register] I'll pay this time.

[The band members look around scared and confused]

Bono: BluBlocker? What does this have to do with Africa?

Jonny: There you are, Chris! We got some vintage 2006!

Bono: Uh...I'm Bono.

Jonny: Yes, we know. You've told us three times today. We need to get going

Bono: I need to call for help! Oh shit, where's my phone...

[camera fades to black, then fades in slowly, showing Chris Martin walking on Eze's beach like in the Yellow video, wearing a hoodie, with soaking wet hair. Edge and Larry walk beside him, looking confused]

[back in London]

Gwyneth Paltrow: Honey, wake up!

Bono: Ughh....what time is it?

GP: 9:30 AM.

Bono: Then what the fuck are you waking me up for?

GP: Sweetie, you have band rehearsals in an hour.

Bono: Wha.....? I haven't been to a rehearsal in yea...Wait, you're that chick who married Chris Martin...

GP: I'm not surprised you forgot for a minute. I haven't seen you drink and cry so much since the day before yesterday. I'll go down and make your breakfast, honey.

Bono: A breakfast not consisting of non-dairy creamer and poptarts...this could be interesting...


Bono: [looks at his plate, on it is a block of wood with vaseline on it] ...Fuck is this?

GP: It's your macrobiotic breakfast! You really have to bring balance to your soul after all that alcohol you drank last night.

Bono: But it's a block of wood with vaseline on it.

GP: Now you're catching on!

Bono: I've lost my band, my wife and kids, and my identity, but somehow, this is the worst part so far.

[in Eze]

CMart: Hey, you stupid kids, get off my lawn! I'm Bono!

Edge: Sorry to wake you up so early, Bono, but we need to get to work on re-recording the new songs.

CMart: No big deal, mate. I've been awake for hours, taking advantage of the awesome power I wield as Bono.

Edge: Ah, the usual, eh? We need you to do some vocals for us. Your falsetto has been terrible lately, but you recorded Bomb on your back, so whatevs.

CMart: My falsetto? Uhhhhh...hey, look! I found the CD! Whew, that was a close one for so many reasons.

Edge: Oh, well that's different then. 3rd week of June break!

CMart: Wait, weren't we supposed to do an iPod commercial sometime soon?

Edge: Don't you remember how little effort that takes? We could get it done this afternoon if you really want to get it out of the way.

CMart: I'm Bono, remember? I can't even remember the lyrics to my own songs, especially Mothers Of The Disappeared. Seriously, I don't listen to that one much.

Edge: Do you at least remember the choreography we worked out?

CMart: Obviously. What great frontman doesn't have The Funk?

Edge: [leaves]

CMart: Well, I'm screwed.

[back in London]

Bono: [walks through the door, looks tired, puts his hat on the coatrack]

GP: Tough day at the office, honey?

Bono: I kept telling the guys to stop playing so earnestly, but they just don't listen to me. We may have to go back and dream it all up again after a day's rehearsal.

GP: Aww...Apple, Moses, say "hi" to your daddy.

[they say "hi" in perfect unison and give him a hug]

Bono: Ha, since when have we had such great kids?

GP: It's all genetic. They're peaceful and acquiesce, just like us! Plus, they always eat their bark shavings.

Bono: Yes, yes...of course. Kids, go get me a switch and some beer.

Apple: Yes, sir!

[in HQ]

Director: OK, Bono, we'd like you to stand way out in front of everyone else, and to make as many flamboyant hand movements as you can in a 45 second time span.

CMart: For once, I'm actually in my element.

[the band starts playing in front of a green screen (use DOL's beach clip as music), and CMart overacts, which annoys the band]

Larry: Let's kill him.

[back in London]

Bono: [on the Coldplaying website, it's the polar opposite of interference] The fans are actually...content with our setlists? This is strangely pleasant.

[back in HQ]

Edge: [walking through an alley] Bono, are you out here?

CMart: I'm brooding.

Edge: Uh...why?

CMart: The director said I was OK, but too flamboyant. I must write down my feelings on this situation.

Edge: Why on earth would you want to do that? Usually you just write all of your lyrics in the recording studio with a day and a half left before the album is due.

CMart: Because that's what Bono would do.

Edge: No, you wouldn't. That's what I just said.

CMart: Uh.....YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME! NO ONE CAN! [swings his head down, and leans against the wall]

Edge: that's it, huh?

CMart: Yeah, I'm 99% sure. [his sunglasses fall off, he panics and dashes off] I MUST HIDE MYSELF FROM THE WORLD...OVER THERE!

Edge: [raises his eyebrow]

[at HQ itself]

Edge: [dials phone number, exasperated] Bono...are you there?

Bono: Uh...hi, Edge...what's cracking?

Edge: You actually held on to your phone?

Bono: Well, let's just say I have "a" phone

Edge: And how did you manage to hold on to that one?

Bono: It turns out that Gwyneth Paltrow isn't into leather. These normal people pants have pockets.

Edge: Yeah, pockets are useful for keeping things in.

Bono: Just something to keep under your cap.

Edge: Oh, BTW, Chris Martin is pretending to be you here in Dublin.

Bono: I had no idea Coldplay was popular enough in Ireland to play a concert there. Please tell me they're not filming a DVD at Slane.

Edge: He's not throwing a concert. He's here, dressed as you, and tricked us all.

Bono: Man, you guys are stupid.

Edge: Speaking of which, why does Gwyneth Paltrow think you're Chris Martin?

Bono: Dunno. I've kept my sunglasses on the whole time, and I imagine Chris always does the same. Plus, the stubble. That could be it. Stubble is badass.

Edge: And why don't you want her to know the truth?

Bono: Because being Chris Martin is a cushy gig. You get to write the same music over and over and still get away with naming your kid Apple.

Edge: Too bad. I just thought of a good plan we can use to convince Chrissy to confess.

Bono: You know, Edge...I have ideas too sometimes.

Edge: Yeah, but they're all terrible.

Bono: Touché.

[at HQ]

CMart: [staring into a mirror] OK, Chris. Everyone disrespects you, your wife is old, and you sweat all the time. But you're Bono. You're living the dream. And today you're having your first interview as Bono. You've never been good at interviews before, but you're Bono now. And he always says the right thing.

[the cameras are all on, and everyone is in a stunned silence]

CMart: Uh...hi, everyone!

Interviewer: Welcome! Tonight, we have a very special guest; singer of U2, Bono! [crowd cheers] U2 is releasing a new album entitled "From Boyhood To Manhood Through The Eyes Of Someone Too Old To Remember His Boyhood Well Enough To Realistically Write About It (Africa)" and Bono is here to talk to us about it. So, first off...

[they drone on and on, Bono gets bored]

Bono: What was your plan again?

Edge: I added in a bunch of questions that I figured the guy would never be able to answer, but it's like he follows us around at all hours or something.

Bono: .........[looks around]............fuck it. [goes over, takes off CMart's glasses]

Interview: Don't take them off! You'll kill us all!

CMart: No, I DON'T have a preoccupation with death, good sir! EXCUSE ME, I NEED A TREE TO WRITE UNDER... [starts crying, runs away]

Edge: That wasn't even one of the questions I added in.

Bono: [runs after him]

Edge: Stop. He'll be OK, I promise.

Bono: I don't care about him; I just want my wallet.

Edge: Let him keep it. He's had it longer.

[Coldplay walks out on stage at their concert]

CMart: Sexy people, identify yourselves! Sing along! Wait, we're starting the sets with Life In Technicolor now? Fuck, what else did I miss?

[band starts Life In Technicolor]

CMart: Oooooooooooooooahoahoaohaohoahaoahaoahaoahoaohaohaoahoaoh

CMart: V-I-V-A-L-A-V...uh...I-D-A-O...wait...R-D-E...uh...DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE which I mean Jon Buckland? I DO!

Jonny: [glares over at CMart]



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Old 08-15-2008, 01:29 AM   #2
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Fucking awesome stuff, LM. Would've made an epic cartoon.

"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 08-15-2008, 01:31 AM   #3
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That was awesome! And I got namechecked! (kinda)

And if you think that's long, you should see some of my fanfic
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:38 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by DreamOutLoud13 View Post
That was awesome! And I got namechecked! (kinda)

And if you think that's long, you should see some of my fanfic
Yeah, you can count it as a namecheck. That part would've been cool had I been bothered to animate it.

There are definitely some fanfics that equal or surpass this in length, but they're usually split up into different threads. I stand by my other points though; there's no way this episode would be in step with that section, or any other. Believe me, I thought this out for a good 24 hours before pulling the plug, and the decision to post it here was included in that.

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Old 08-15-2008, 02:42 AM   #5
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That deserves a :fuckyeah:
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Old 08-15-2008, 02:47 AM   #6
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this is hilarious! dare i say, i think it's your best work yet! sadly, this pretty much describes chrissy and bono to a t.
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Old 08-15-2008, 04:24 AM   #7
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it'd be great, really great if you made this a cartoon!

I so wanna see how CM would look like...

Waiter: And the teen with bad facial hair?

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Originally Posted by GraceRyan View Post
And if U2 EVER did Hawkmoon live....and the version from the Lovetown Tour, my uterus would leave my body and fling itself at Bono - for realz.
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be all right. Uncertainty can be a guiding light...
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Old 08-15-2008, 06:01 AM   #8
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Excellent work as usual, Traviud. Worth the wait, even if not in cartoon form.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:04 AM   #9
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Your best effort yet. That was very very funny.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:04 AM   #10
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"CMart: [reads Bono's letter, which reads "Thank you for your interest in the One Campaign. Enclosed is a pamphlet that may be of interest to you* (*this pamphlet may not be related to the One Campaign, nor be of interest to you) signed, Brad Pitt"] Grr..."

"Bono: I've lost my band, my wife and kids, and my identity, but somehow, this is the worst part so far."

Epic, Traviud. Very Epic.
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:23 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Galeongirl View Post
it'd be great, really great if you made this a cartoon!

I so wanna see how CM would look like...

Waiter: And the teen with bad facial hair?

Mai Hero!
Well, like I said in the introduction, I did make it a little ways into the episode before giving up, so I do have some animation lying around:

Glad you're all liking it so far, everyone.

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Old 08-15-2008, 03:01 PM   #12
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That made me laugh so hard I'm crying.

This wins at life.
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Old 08-15-2008, 03:31 PM   #13
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I knew there was a valid reason I loved you!
Originally Posted by GraceRyan View Post
And if U2 EVER did Hawkmoon live....and the version from the Lovetown Tour, my uterus would leave my body and fling itself at Bono - for realz.
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be all right. Uncertainty can be a guiding light...
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Old 08-15-2008, 03:31 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Galeongirl View Post
I knew there was a valid reason I loved you!
You need to have a valid reason now?

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Old 08-15-2008, 05:30 PM   #15
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oh elmel, that was simply fanatastc. Shame about the lack of animations, but still, brilliant as a standalone for sure

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