Year 2000 Transcript

[Zooropa1310]

For anyone who hasn't heard it or read it yet


Conan: I think it’s time… We look… into the future.
Edge: *walks out in outfit* The future? Conan?
Conan: That’s right U2’s The Edge, lets look to the future, all the way to the year 2000!
~~In The Year 2000~~
Conan: Ashton Kutcher will have a child with Demi Moore, its first words “Hey, who’s that old lady?”
~~In The Year 2000~~
Edge: Industrial Lucite will replace crystal as the most common stripper name.
~~In The Year 2000~~
Conan: U2 will become very destructive., and replace Bono with the far less reliable singer, Bonoduchi.
~~In The Year 2000~~
Edge: U2 will reveal that we wrote the song, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” after we went to 4 super markets, looking for… BooBerry cereal.
~~In The Year 2000~~
Conan: Mr. T will direct a documentary on Kristy Alli’s weeklong tour of the Grand Canyon, The title? I Pity The Mule.
~~In The Year 2000~~
Edge: U2 will reluctantly admit that our original title for our album Achtung Baby was in fact, Oui Vey Mama.
~~In The Year 2000~~
Conan: Bono will catch mono from Allisa Molono. The Edge will clip a hedge for Sister Sledge. Adam Clayton will worship Satan in Dayton. And Larry Mullen Jr. will be impossible to rhyme with.
~~In The Year 2000~~
Edge: The Edge will admit that he wears a knitted cap to catch the attention off of Bonos. Crap. Sunglasses.
~~In The Year 2000~~
*Bono walks out in outfit*
Bono: The Edge will admit that the reason he wears knit caps, is to cover his forehead tattoo that says I <3 *looks confused at teleprompter* Urkel?
Bono: In the name of world peace, there will be a short commercial break, and U2 will continue to hijack Conan The Barbarian.

 

[U2democrat]

I loved it! Edge was perfect.

 

[pepokiss]

I think the Achtung Baby thing was supose to be "Oye, mama", but he screwed up

 

[Carek1230]

Did anyone catch the U2 SECRETS bit that was onthe Conan show Friday? It was funny! Edge, Bono and Larry all did a little bit.