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Old 09-30-2006, 11:42 AM   #16
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Q. How many members of U2 does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Four:
Bono writes a song asking for deliverance from the dark.

Larry says it doesn't matter if it's light or dark. He's the drummer. Chicks dig him.

Adam wonders if it's worth getting naked when no one can see him

Edge, the mechanical genius, finally changes the bulb.



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Old 09-30-2006, 11:43 AM   #17
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lucky girl!



hehe

I found the link for the Joke contest, some good ones in tehre!
http://forum.interference.com/showth...5&pagenumber=1
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Originally Posted by GraceRyan View Post
And if U2 EVER did Hawkmoon live....and the version from the Lovetown Tour, my uterus would leave my body and fling itself at Bono - for realz.
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be all right. Uncertainty can be a guiding light...
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Old 09-30-2006, 11:43 AM   #18
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So one day The Edge and Bono had a bet.
Bono said "Everyone in the world knows me."
The Edge said "Get over yourself"
Bono "I will prove it"

They walk out of Windmill Lane and a bunch of girls went nuts yelling for Bono.
Bono said "See Edge they love me."
The Edge said "No big deal groupies, even Carrot Top has groupies."

Bono told The Edge "OK you pick any place. We'll go and someone will know me." The Edge picked Nome Alaska. There on a secluded frozen lake was an Eskimo ice fishing
They walked up to the Eskimo and the Eskimo said "Ugh hi Bono"
The Edge shook his head in amazement.

Then The Edge took Bono to a remote island in the Pacific ocean. They went out on a boat and there was a boy swimming with dolphins. The Edge stopped his the boat and the boy said Hi Bono and to The Edge's amazement so did the dolphin.
Bono said "See I told you"

The Edge finally came up with an idea. They flew to the Vatican. Bono decided to give the POPE a pair of Fly glasses and talk about Jubilee 2000.
The Edge was standing in the crowd when all the sudden a guy came up and said "Hey who's that guy Bono is giving sunglasses to?"

The Edge threw up his hands and gave up.

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Old 09-30-2006, 11:45 AM   #19
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The four guys were in a bar, rowdy and having fun. Bono urged, "Hey Lawrence, tell them your drummer joke!" "That's a bit mean, asking a drummer to tell a drummer joke." But he told it anyway. "There are 3 guys in a bar. The first says, I have an IQ of 150, I'm a rocket scientist. The second guys says, I have an IQ of 140, I'm a neurosurgeon. The last guy says, I have an IQ of 80. The other two guys say, YOU'RE A DRUMMER!



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Old 09-30-2006, 11:46 AM   #20
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Q: What's the difference between Bono and Moses?
A: Bono doesn't divide the sea, he walks on it.



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Old 09-30-2006, 11:47 AM   #21
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What's the difference between an irish funeral and an Irish wedding?

One less drunk



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Old 09-30-2006, 11:48 AM   #22
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Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a vaccuum cleaner?

A: You have to turn the vaccuum cleaner on before it'll suck



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Old 09-30-2006, 11:49 AM   #23
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A drummer is walking down the road in the country side one day when he spots a shepherd and his flock of sheep up the hill. So the drummer climbs up the hill and says to the shepherd, "If I guess how many sheep are in your flock can I have one?"
The Shepherd thinks to himself "This guy's never gonna guess how many sheep I've got..." and he says "Sure, son. Take your best shot."
The drummer surveys the flock and says "42."
The Shepherd is amazed and says, "Wow! How'd you do that? Go ahead, son. Take your sheep."
So the drummer picks up one of the animals and starts walking away.
The shepherd calls after him, "Hey! If I guess your profession can I have my sheep back?"
The drummer thinks to himself "He's never gonna guess I'm a drummer," and says, "Sure. Guess."
The shepherd looks at him and says, "You're a drummer."
The drummer is astonished and says, "How'd you know?!?!?!"
The shepherd says, "Put my dog down and we'll talk."

.................................................Im for sure gonna get killed by the drummer fans
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Old 09-30-2006, 11:50 AM   #24
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Little Adam: Mother, I want to grow up and be bass player in a rock band.

Mother: Now son, you have to pick one or the other. You can't do both.



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Old 09-30-2006, 11:51 AM   #25
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A young Irish girl goes into her priest on Saturday morning for confession.

"Father, forgive me for I have Thinned."

"You've Thinned?"

"Yes, I met Adam of U2, we went out Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."

"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."

"Will that wash away me Thin?"

"No, but it will get the silly smile off your face."



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Old 09-30-2006, 11:52 AM   #26
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Edge arrived at the pearly gates.

"What did you do when you were alive?" asked St. Peter.

"I was the lead guitarist of U2 "

"Excellent! We have a vacancy in our heavenly rock band for a guitarist. Why don't you turn up at the next rehearsal."

So, when the time for the next rehearsal arrived Edge turned up with his heavenly guitar. As he took his place God moved, in a mysterious way, to the mike. Edge turned to the angelic drummer and whispered, "So, what's God like as a singer?"

"Oh, he's O.K. most of the time, but occasionally he thinks he's Bono."


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Old 09-30-2006, 11:53 AM   #27
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Q: How come U2 still hasn't found what they're looking for?

A: Because the streets have no names.


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Old 09-30-2006, 11:55 AM   #28
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When Warren Zevon died, he was surprised to find himself in rock-n-roll heaven. St. Peter was showing him around, introducing him to all the departed rock stars. Visiting a fantastic music studio, he saw Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, John Bonham, Mama Cass, etc., etc.
Suddenly, with a flourish, Bono walked into the studio and joined in the jam.
Zevon gasped to St. Peter: 'I didn't know Bono died!'
'Oh no,' replied Peter 'That's God - he just THINKS he's Bono.'


Yeah this one is like GGs........
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Old 09-30-2006, 11:57 AM   #29
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Bono and Edge are travelling in an airplane. The plane crashes during a severe storm and all lives are lost. Bono & Edge find themselves in Heaven and before them sitting on a grand throne is God. God tells them if they answer His question truthfully, they will enter the Kingdom of Heaven to experience everlasting happiness.

God turns to Edge and asks "What do you believe, Edge?"

Edge replies " I believe in the power of rock n roll and Gibson guitars!! "

God smiles, and says, " Excellent, you may enter. "

After Edge leaves, God turns to Bono. He asks Bono "What do you believe? "

With a wry smile and glint in his eye, Bono replies " I believe you are sitting in my chair! "


I think it was posted already..but..........................
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Old 09-30-2006, 11:59 AM   #30
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A Scottish Wedding....

"Ach, it's all going grand," says Gavin.
"I've got everything organized already:
the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night...

Angus nods approvingly.

"Ah've even bought a kilt ta be married in!" continues Gavin.

"A kilt?" exclaims Angus, "That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that!"
"And what's the tartan?"
Angus then enquires.

"Och," says Gavin, "I'd imagine she'll be in white..."


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