Remedy for P.E.S. !!!

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zooropamanda

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Smile, you're reading my post
Have you been suffering the effects of PES? Been feeling the urge to run to your local concert hall to sit outside in a queue all day and not know why?
Been suffering hot sweats and fevers from not being able to talk to other U2 fans about Bono's latest hairstyle?
Ever feel like you just want to start bouncing up and down and shouting wooooooo oooohhhhooooo wwwwwoooooo ooooohhhhhhhhoooo in the middle of the shopping centre?

Well...I am sorry to say I think you may be suffering from Post Elevation Stress.
I understand your pain but I think I may have come up with the perfect remedy if you are suffering major PES.

*Firstly, go to u2france and download yerself The Fly vid from tour.
*Put on some cool concert going threads or if youre a lil twisted like me, pop on your Edge number shirt. I had a blue number 6 at Earls..
*Turn your speakers up FULL PELT...
*Turn out the lights so its darkness and just the screen.
*Affix some disco lights to the four corners of your bedroom so to make elevation light effects which you control with strings you have connected to your shoes.
*Make yourself a Heart wristband out of paper and get your brother to slap it hard on your wrist as he yells at you to stop running and to calm down.
*Hang some scaffolding made out of lego above your head and get your dog to act as security at the bedroom door.
*Make a mini heart out of red streamers and Xmas lights which you mark out around your pc. Enuff room for yourself and some friends, about 5 or 6 should do, so you get that full squished effect.
Maybe even get your brother to come and jump in front of you just as Bono starts to turn your way.
*Once you and your squished friends are pumped from drinking red cordial and have sat huddled outside your bedroom door for about an hour, enter the heart and start jumping on each other's feet.
*Start The Fly vid from the tour and squeal as loud as possible as you push your friends around and scream for Bono.
*AS the lights flash and you start to sweat you will start to feel as though you are actually there again!

Just remember to not get yourself tangled in the light strings when you go nuts during Edge's solo.
Also try not to touch Bono because you may end up with a broken fist and smashed monitor screen.

Once its over, keep doing it all again and again until your friends realize you are completely insane and go home.

biggrin.gif
 
another good remedy is to drink cow urine. heavily, might i add. it has been said that when one drinks in excess of 40 litres of cow urine in one day, they start to feel a little buzzed, even dizzy at times.

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-deathbear

[This message has been edited by Supreme Cutlas (edited 10-08-2001).]
 
fine, if thats for sissies, then take a nice long, wet log of zebra excrememnt (15-25 inches long at times) and cut it, serve it on a nice dish to serve to your friends. its sure to be the hit of the party!

*deathbear has many cooking tips

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-deathbear
 
what does ANY of this have to do with your typing in such hypno-bear speak?

im going for a shower.

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-deathbear
 
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