Post some Bono cornball lines!

[Canadiens1131]

Although the B-man is, er, the man, let's face it, when you speak so much at concerts you're bound to say some odd stuff.

So skipping the usual funny stuff he said in Rattle And Hum, here's one from Lovetown Dec 27th...


In the middle of People Get Ready:
"Coke is not the real thing, this...is the real thing."


Post more brilliant live quips!

 

[Numbology]

"Thanks for building this,whatever this is"

 

[Zoots]

The only thing I can think of right now is...

"Okay Edge, play the blues..."

 

[snutes1]

Although this might not fit into oddball, it was funny as hell and embarassing:

During Sunday Bloody Sunday in the Free the Yuppies Concert in San Francisco, BONO sees a "S.F. and U2" sign in the audience. Bono, thinking it means "Sinn Fein and U2" proceeds to go into a verbal rampage.

To paraphrase:

"Whats that sign I see, I see two letters SF and U2 (people in the audience cheer wildly cause it obviously stands for San Francisco and U2) is that some sort of girls name.Or Is that Sinn Fein, the IRA. Cause if it does I dont know how you can stomach and hold up that sign this week. Cause you bastards let those people die 11 dead, 55 wounded in the name of freedom. Fuck Freedom!!!......When was the last time you were in Ireland anyway...."

Poor dude in the audience must have been wtf.

 

[Canadiens1131]

Although this might not fit into oddball, it was funny as hell and embarassing:

During Sunday Bloody Sunday in the Free the Yuppies Concert in San Francisco, BONO sees a "S.F. and U2" sign in the audience. Bono, thinking it means "Sinn Fein and U2" proceeds to go into a verbal rampage.

To paraphrase:

"Whats that sign I see, I see two letters SF and U2 (people in the audience cheer wildly cause it obviously stands for San Francisco and U2) is that some sort of girls name.Or Is that Sinn Fein, the IRA. Cause if it does I dont know how you can stomach and hold up that sign this week. Cause you bastards let those people die 11 dead, 55 wounded in the name of freedom. Fuck Freedom!!!......When was the last time you were in Ireland anyway...."

Poor dude in the audience must have been wtf.

LOL priceless

 

[Val]

that is funny.. so JT Bono

 

[thrillme]

"Ipod is the sexiest thing since the electric guitar", or something like that.



Hehe, sexiest thing since the electric guitar, the electric bass guitar.

 

[forty]

"Ipod is the sexiest thing since the electric guitar", or something like that.

Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I love ya, Bono, but come on... I don't think the iPod will have the same impact as the electric guitar. LOL

 

[melovekittens]

 

[blueeyedgirl]

"Am I buggin' ya, cos I don't mean to bug ya"

Oh, just shut up!!!!

 

[MattFromNYC]

Although this might not fit into oddball, it was funny as hell and embarassing:

During Sunday Bloody Sunday in the Free the Yuppies Concert in San Francisco, BONO sees a "S.F. and U2" sign in the audience. Bono, thinking it means "Sinn Fein and U2" proceeds to go into a verbal rampage.

To paraphrase:

"Whats that sign I see, I see two letters SF and U2 (people in the audience cheer wildly cause it obviously stands for San Francisco and U2) is that some sort of girls name.Or Is that Sinn Fein, the IRA. Cause if it does I dont know how you can stomach and hold up that sign this week. Cause you bastards let those people die 11 dead, 55 wounded in the name of freedom. Fuck Freedom!!!......When was the last time you were in Ireland anyway...."

Poor dude in the audience must have been wtf.

DUDE!! I think I know the person who had that sign! There was a post on U2.com a while back in the thread about Bono ever getting pissed off at fans or at a concert, and it was pretty funny shit in there, and so this fan mentioned having this sign like that that pissed Bono off and he didn't know why.
I think that's what the sign said, too.

Either way, that is one of the funniest things I've read on here all day, LOL.

 

[BassTrap82]

Like somebody in SAN FRANSISCO would be interested in SEIN FEIN!

 

[snutes1]

"Mexico, Muchos Huevos Grandes, Muchos Traffico, Esto es Mexico" POPMART MEXICO

For those that don't speak Spanish, he's literally saying that in Mexico they have big balls and a lot of traffic.

 

[rastacruz]

5/12/97 Dallas...

Bono-"let's cut the crap and rock and roll!"

they followed that with the Edge doing a karaoke version of 'Daydream Believer'.

obviously, the crap was not quite finished yet!

 

[Do Miss America]

5/12/97 Dallas...

Bono-"let's cut the crap and rock and roll!"

they followed that with the Edge doing a karaoke version of 'Daydream Believer'.

obviously, the crap was not quite finished yet!

I think it's called irony.

 

[starsgoblue]

I thought 'huevos' was Spanish for 'eggs'.....

Big balls, big eggs...it's still funny...

 

[Do Miss America]

I thought 'huevos' was Spanish for 'eggs'.....

Big balls, big eggs...it's still funny...

It's both.

 

[starsgoblue]

Ah, I was only familiar with the 'cajones' slang....

 

[scarlet october]

On some U2 bootleg UF era I have. Before the band plays "Knocking On Heaven's Door" , Bono says something about

"Were going to play 'A Song' so here it goes 'A Song'."

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

I thought 'huevos' was Spanish for 'eggs'.....

Big balls, big eggs...it's still funny...

You're right but it's because we also use "eggs" as a reference to male geniatlia. It's actually the most common slang term for it.

 

[tommycharles]

I think it's called irony.

And being that that line appears on other Popmart boots, I think it's called scripted

 

[-macphisto-]

Although this might not fit into oddball, it was funny as hell and embarassing:

During Sunday Bloody Sunday in the Free the Yuppies Concert in San Francisco, BONO sees a "S.F. and U2" sign in the audience. Bono, thinking it means "Sinn Fein and U2" proceeds to go into a verbal rampage.

To paraphrase:

"Whats that sign I see, I see two letters SF and U2 (people in the audience cheer wildly cause it obviously stands for San Francisco and U2) is that some sort of girls name.Or Is that Sinn Fein, the IRA. Cause if it does I dont know how you can stomach and hold up that sign this week. Cause you bastards let those people die 11 dead, 55 wounded in the name of freedom. Fuck Freedom!!!......When was the last time you were in Ireland anyway...."

Poor dude in the audience must have been wtf.

Thats a good one

"ok edge, play the blues" is classic and is awesome
"am I bugging you, dont mean to bug ya" is also a classic and awesome!

 

[TheBrazilianFly]

On some U2 bootleg UF era I have. Before the band plays "Knocking On Heaven's Door" , Bono says something about

"Were going to play 'A Song' so here it goes 'A Song'."

-----------

 

[Do Miss America]

And being that that line appears on other Popmart boots, I think it's called scripted

Well the whole tour was scripted irony.

 

[diamond]

at sd 1 he called camp pendleton cape pendleton

silly man.

db9

 

[Tyagu_Anaykus]

5/12/97 Dallas...

Bono-"let's cut the crap and rock and roll!"

they followed that with the Edge doing a karaoke version of 'Daydream Believer'.

obviously, the crap was not quite finished yet!

 

[youtooellen]

Although this might not fit into oddball, it was funny as hell and embarassing:

During Sunday Bloody Sunday in the Free the Yuppies Concert in San Francisco, BONO sees a "S.F. and U2" sign in the audience. Bono, thinking it means "Sinn Fein and U2" proceeds to go into a verbal rampage.

To paraphrase:

"Whats that sign I see, I see two letters SF and U2 (people in the audience cheer wildly cause it obviously stands for San Francisco and U2) is that some sort of girls name.Or Is that Sinn Fein, the IRA. Cause if it does I dont know how you can stomach and hold up that sign this week. Cause you bastards let those people die 11 dead, 55 wounded in the name of freedom. Fuck Freedom!!!......When was the last time you were in Ireland anyway...."

Poor dude in the audience must have been wtf.

silly bono.

 

[U2248]

The infamous "Rock 'n Roll stops the Traffic!"

 

[gareth brown]

"Thanks for building this,whatever this is"

Haha! I love the way he sniggers while saying that on the Popmart tape!

 

[Bono's Doll]

I love "Off With the Horns & On With the Show" being a Mac lover.