our fantasies vs. the band's reality

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Vampira

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I have yet to see this topic discussed and I don't really know how to say it. I know it will be controversial and I hope it doesn't offend or bust any bubbles and if it goes downhill please close it.

Takes a deep breath.

here goes.

I may be cynical but am I alone in thinking that our fantasies of the band do not match up with reality. If you give Bono some flowers or a little homemade present to do really think he takes it home and treasures it? I don't mean by this that Bono is a bad person and does not care about fans. He has deep feelings for his fans and is very sentimental and kindhearted. He would never hurt anybody's feelings. But I have a hard time believing he's really sitting in front of the tv watching the World Cup in the soccer jersey a fan gave him, or writing with a pen somebody gave him, or even keeping track of stuff from fans. So many people go to so much trouble to get him things but it could be that our fantasies of this are not reality. I hate to say it but most of it prolly goes right in the trash. If he left your pen on the table it's because he didn't want it. He'd never say that. I'm sure he's touched by your little presents. But don't put too much emphasis on sending him gifts and making sure he gets them because as a millionaire the small stuff doesn't mean to him what it does to us. He's got enough to keep up with stuff his 4 kids make him and prolly doesn't even keep all that in his jetsetting life.

Watching TV I have heard athletes and actors say that if they get a lot of flowers they go to the old folks' home or if it's toys or stuffed animals they give them to the children's home or hospital. Nobody said it but I would wager letters and cards get tossed. There are too many fans and I can't believe these things mean as much to stars as they do to us.

So I don't want to hurt anybody or be mean but I hate to see people put so much stock in getting something to men who really don't care like fans do. Not saying they are heartless bastards no way, they do care, but it's a different lifestyle for them.

Now I know most of you are only going to bash this and go, no way Bono saves everything he cares about his fans! Or, why would you even do this if it means so much to somebody? It's only because I would hate to see somebody walk by a trashcan in Dublin and see the little homemade dolly Cindy sent Missy to give to Bono sticking out. I think we need to be realistic about our relationship with the band.

Go ahead and hate me. Is there one person here who catches my drift in its true intent?
 
Yes Vampira, I imagine you're right. They must get hundreds, possibly even thousands of items given or sent to them every year. There is no possible way they could keep even a fraction of it. They would need a football stadium-sized warehouse. That said, I also imagine that they do make an effort to look at and read items that are handed to them personally, but these also probably go into the trash bin. I'm sure there's a ton of stuff they never actually see, that Principle just takes care of for them.
I do believe they are good, decent people, but they are just that, people. They would never have the time to look at all the stuff they get from fans, and how could they possibly keep it all?
 
:shrug: I guess we'll never know and maybe ignorance is bliss when it comes to our favorite band(s).

Similar to what you're trying to say, I think some people who are VERY excited about U2's next album (you know, the "our first guitar/rock n roll album" rumors) and are expecting 12 songs like Exit/Acrobat/HMTMKMKM/Gone/New York will be dissapointed.
 
biff said:

I do believe they are good, decent people, but they are just that, people. They would never have the time to look at all the stuff they get from fans, and how could they possibly keep it all?

That's it :yes:

Because they've gotten so much stuff over the years it must seem like a burden of junk to them though I'm sure they momentarily appreciate the thought behind it. A hard to find book or video might actually be kept but I hate to see so many people put so much into 'gifts' that really aren't going to be special to the band, because there is too much and it can't be. It's a waste of time and it's sad to see it mean so much to so many nice people here.
 
U2girl said:
:shrug: I guess we'll never know and maybe ignorance is bliss when it comes to our favorite band(s).


Yes it is, and I suppose there is no harm in dreaming as long as you don't knock yourself out going to a lot of trouble for it or getting too tied up in it emotionally.
 
U2girl said:
:shrug: I guess we'll never know and maybe ignorance is bliss when it comes to our favorite band(s).


Believe me, it is. You have no idea. It we all knew how performers really were and how they regarded fans, most would not have a fan left.

U2 are widely regarded in the industry as being good, stand-up, gracious people. This has been hard won, and it has been a chore to remain so very accessible. I would venture to say that more U2 fans have met U2 than most fans who admire big bands. U2 are very connected to their fans, more so than most.

The truth is that no, rock stars do not have the time and energy to go thru every piece of fan mail or fan presents. For security purposes, the ones they do see are generally the ones that are given to them directly, in person. If it is a pen, sure, they'll keep it. If it's a poem or scrapbook, unless it's really creative, don't count on them keeping it. Teddybears are pointless.

I think alot of the giftgiving is just the fan wanting to extend their love in a physical way, and a gift represents that. It's a purging of sorts for the fan - they feel that they have shown the band member that the fan exists, and just as Bono gives us all a piece of his heart thru song, when you give him something (in a fan way), he can now walk away with a piece of the fan's heart.
 
This may sound really mean but I think it depends on what you give them. Eep always gives them these Kung Fu hamsters that sing and dance when you pinch their foot and when she asked John Sampson about them, he laughed and said they (he, Bono, Edge) keep them for the kids. When we met Bono, we handed him a card, but I'm not sure if he read it or not. We asked John Sampson, who said he read b/c he "reads everything", but I'm not sure if he was kidding or serious. I just keep my expectations low and figure, if it does get read or used, cool! if not, oh well, at least I tried :shrug:

I didn't give Bono anything from me personally or get anything from him, but shaking his hand and looking him straight in the eye is all I need.
 
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It's the thought and gesture that matter and I'm sure the band appreciates that.
 
I agree, Vampira. And I realize that U2 can't possibly keep everything people give them. Where would it all go? I do, however think that they make much more of an effort to show their fans that they are appreciated.

I have never met anyone from U2, although I, of course, would like too. I have, however met a few racecar drivers, and some other random sports celebrities. I'm not going to name them, but how these people treat you when you meet them makes all the difference. One driver treated me like I was the biggest waste of his time. I grew up in a family where NASCAR rules, and I had been following this driver since he joined the circuit. I brought nothing to sign, no pictures, I didn't give him anything. I just wanted to shake his hand. Another made me, for that moment, feel appreciated, just for supporting him.

I guess what I was trying to say is that U2 gives where it really counts. I don't know what all is out there, but it seems like most fan encounters have been positive. If some people feel the need to give gifts to the band, I'm all for it, as long as we recognize where fantasy begins and reality ends. Not just for U2, but for the fans. There are a lot of great hanging around here. I wouldn't want to see anyone have their feelings crushed.

This probably makes no sense.
 
With U2 having all the fans they do and receiving so many gifts, they really probably don't keep tabs on all of the stuff you give them. You never know though. I nearly died when I saw that the pic I made and sent to Ryan Adams was hanging up in his apartment. Granted the fanbase of Ryan Adams is a lot smaller than U2's...but still! Like I said, you never know.
 
I understand that, Vampira...
I know that they are pretty busy and they have a lot of fans and they all want to give them gifts, letters and stuff (including me)... but, let's face it... they don't have a huge bunker to keep all the stuff they get, and we have to understand that they really apreciate their fans but... they don't know them close enough...
 
Vampira that is good topic and I am sure that Bono and CO get a lot of stuff...and I mean a lot of stuff during the year from fans and if they took ALL of them home. Their whole houses would be filled with flowers, candy, gifts, art etc and they would have no where to sleep or their children would have no room to play. I am sure Bono appreciates every jesture and I know that the band understands that we the fans made U2 what they are. When U2 were here in Vancouver, they were at the back of the stadium signing autographs for each and ever person until the very last minute. Other rock stars that I have met have been asses as if they have a chip on their shoulder. Bono has also mentioned how thankful he is. I think Bono keeps the small unusual items that he knows that he can house. Yes flowers, candy etc. get thrown away but I am certain they are appreciated.
 
Vampira said:


Yes it is, and I suppose there is no harm in dreaming as long as you don't knock yourself out going to a lot of trouble for it or getting too tied up in it emotionally.

I completely 100% agree with you on that one. I have made cards, art work and teddy bears for artists and I know that they weren't going to keep it but they understood the appreciation. I also make a point that when giving teddy bears to artists to show appreciation, I make the teddy neutral 'cause a lot of them are given to Children's hospital and I am all about giving the love and spreading it around. I volunteer at a Children's Hospital in Vancouver and we get a lot of local artists dropping off teddy's that get mailed to them by fans. I have even had the job of giving them out. As long as the fans are okay with the thought that the artist is 99% not going to keep whatever you give them, than no feelings will be hurt.
 
The best gift we ever gave them is their lifestyle and the ability to be successful.

Even Bono said that in so many words himself.
 
Bonochick said:
I nearly died when I saw that the pic I made and sent to Ryan Adams was hanging up in his apartment.
hahaha, I was thinking about that when I was reading this thread :up:
 
everything you've said is a good reality check...

there's no harm in sending things along, just realise it's one drop in a huge torrent..

..but even when you're caught in a rainstorm there's that one drop that hits you right on the top of your head or *splat* on your nose or *aiee!*down the back of your collar, you never know when your letter might be that raindrop..

cheaper than playing the lottery, eh? ;)

things like contributing to the Well Fund or getting involved with DATA do more to show them we understand and appreciate their message to us than toys or poems anyhow.
 
wolfeden said:
things like contributing to the Well Fund or getting involved with DATA do more to show them we understand and appreciate their message to us than toys or poems anyhow.

:yes: When so many people are going to bed hungry every night, or don't even have clean water to drink, it's rather silly to fuss over a teddy bear given to a millionaire rock star.

I do understand that they can't keep all their fans' gifts; it's much too impractical from a physical standpoint, as biff pointed out. And I certainly have no qualms about them sending fan gifts to a charity, as other stars do. I do the same thing with gifts I don't need; I'd rather the item go to someone who needs it, or be auctioned to raise money for a good cause. :)
 
I tried to hand Bono a little green teddy bear for his baby on the Elevation tour but he never took it. After the show I tossed it up on the stage and no one was there but Dallas Schoo. Later in the tour, I saw things on the mailing lists that said people saw the stuff being set up and that there was always a cute little green bear sitting on Edge's amp. Dallas is Edge's guitar setup guy, and he was the one who got the bear. So I wonder;)
 
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