Ok, major dilemma - I need your help!

[Angel]

There is U2 content here, just be patient.

I have an annoying neighbour!!!!! HELP!!!

Ok, here's the deal. I live in an apartment and I recently got befriended by a neighbour of mine who lives down the hall. We get along and he's really nice, but he seems to think that he can just come over whenever to use my computer and check his email. It all started in the summer when I had him take care of my fish when I went to Slane. In return for him helping out I let him use my computer. Now he thinks the offer still exists. No it doesn't!! Thing is, he doesn't just check his email he sits there and writes bloody novels!! And when he can clearly see I am in the middle of something. I have had to be rude to a friend I was chatting to because he came by and said he'd be 'really quick'. 1/2hr later! Grrr.

The U2 content is this- when I get home from work and actually have the opportunity to be at home a whole evening (which isn't that often) I want my privacy and my ability to chat with friends, download U2 music and just beeeee. It is becoming such a problem because he is knocking on my door every day now! He just offered to help pay for my internet connection and I am like no way! I don't want him to feel like he has the right to use my computer whenever he wants. I feel like he is totally taking advantage of my good will. What can I do? He is a really sensitive person and I don't want to hurt his feelings or be mean, but he has to know that it's not ok to just come over anytime and sit in my room on MY computer. That's what I like to do. That's my right! It's my aprt. I am really frustrated here. I don't know what to do. I was going to ignore the door the next time he knocked, but he just knocked and I just answered! I feel too guilty otherwise. I did turn him away and told him that I was in the middle of burning CD's, but he just doesn't get it. That's when he offered me $$$ and stuff. I dont want money! I just want my privacy!!!!

Ahhh, I am a hopeless case. Sorry for all the posts today.

 

[pub crawler]

lol...You're way too nice. He's crossing boundaries and really taking advantage of you, whether he knows it or not (and it sounds like he doesn't). I don't know what words you're gonna need to use when you talk to him about this but if you can convince yourself of the truth -- that he's being completely selfish, thoughtless, and taking advantage of you, it will make it easier to address the issue. Best of luck.

 

[Zoomerang96]

kick him in the balls before giving him so kaukalash and the choice of mountain dew or crab juice.

chances are he'll take the crab juice.

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-Cloyd
-Balls McCone
-Cloyd (again)
-Blattus
-Box Bran-Delle

 

[senrab]

Ewwwwww! Ugh! Yechhhh! I'll take a crab juice!

Originally posted by Zoomerang96:
kick him in the balls before giving him so kaukalash and the choice of mountain dew or crab juice.

chances are he'll take the crab juice.

 

[Mrs.Clayton]

I would not answer the door for a few days, and then see what happens. Give yourself some free time, it's o.k. to ignore the door.
Too bad you're not "feeling so good" this time of year...

 

[Angel]

Thx Mrs. Clayton, I think I will try ignoring the door for a bit, but I was also thinking of writing him a note and slipping it under his door when he's not home.
He lent me some CD's, so I figure I could return them with a note saying thank-you and then also taking the opportunity to let him know that I don't want him dropping by all the time. Is that super wimpy??? I just feel like I shouldn't have to be mean to his face. It's not like me and he's the type that just doesn't get it anyway, so I'd probably end up getting frustrated and yelling or something stupid. Maybe in a note he'll understand and perhaps feel less embarrassed or hurt.
This may sound horrible, but I wouldn't be heartbroken if he were never to talk to me again... I have enough friends and have gotten rid of the 'one-sided' friendships in my life, so why would I take on a new one? Self-involved people are toooo much.

 

[tackleberry]

Do you consider him a good friend? A semi-good friend? Or is he just "the guy next door"?

Because if you only hang out with him when he's using your computer, then the friendship isn't that solid. So, yeah, cut the ties with him for a while. Pretend your not home. Say your busy. I know you're trying to be nice to him, but hell sometimes you gotta be a little selfish, a little "gift to yourself" you know. Oprah would definitely agree with me.

I think writing him a note would be a little too wierd, and if he's sensitive then he might get much more offended than if you just ignored him.

With closer friends you can just tell them to their face, you know, "What? You only come over to use my stuff? Thanks a lot!" But if you don't know them that well, that can be somewhat awkward, even if its in writing.

Good Luck

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"You gotta put the women and children first, but you've got an unquenchable thirst for New York..."

 

[Starr]

Sweetie...my best advice to you is just to be honest with the guy. tell him your not trying to be mean & that you hope he understands. If you hurt his feelings..so be it. But be honest..cause if you just skirt around the issue then it will never be resolved.

Good LUCK !!!!

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Starr*
"oh I wish I were a little bar of soap..... I wish I were a little bar of soap...i'd go squishy and slimy all over people's heineys ......Oh i wish i were a little bar of soap....."