Klingerman Virus scare.

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Johnny Swallow

Bad Daddy Johnny
Joined
Aug 10, 2000
Messages
1,925
Location
NW Arkansas
I don't know how real this is but just thought I'd share it:

Warning

We recently received this warning from a family member who lives in
Texas and works for a law enforcement agency there. This sounds very
scary.
Warning received from Police...please read and pass along

A t t e n t i o n :::
This is very scary and is not a joke. Please read - it definitely is a
serious threat to our lives and health. This is an alert about a virus
in the original sense of the word...... one that affects your
body.....not your hard drive. There have been 23 confirmed cases of
people attacked
by the Klingerman Virus, a virus that arrives in your real mailbox, not
in your e-mail inbox.
Someone has been mailing large blue envelopes, seemingly at random, to
people in the U.S. and Canada. On the front of the envelope in bold
black letters is printed " A Gift For You From The Klingerman
Foundation".
When the envelopes are opened, there is a small sponge sealed in
plastic.
This sponge carries what has come to be known as the Klingerman
Virus and public health officials state this is a strain of virus they
have not previously encountered. Those who have come in contact with
the Klingerman Virus have been hospitalized with severe dysentery.
So far seven of the twenty-three victims have died. There is no
legitimate Klingerman Foundation, mailing unsolicited gifts.
If you receive an oversized blue envelope in the mail marked "A Gift
For
You From The Klingerman Foundation". Do not open it !!!!! Place it in
a
strong plastic bag or container & call the police immediately. The
"gift" is one you definitely do not want to open.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE THAT YOU CARE ABOUT.

Helen D. Pausewang
Lockheed Martin Secretary
281-483-9267, C71


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This post brought to you by: Medea. "And women, though most helpless in doing good deeds, are of every evil the cleverest of contrivers."

AIM: JuanSwallow
 
Subject: Virus Alert
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone autodial to call only your ex-spouses' number. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. Its radioactive emissions will cause your bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Psitticosis. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs of infection.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!! (everyone deserves a good laugh)

More virus hoaxes here
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/hoax.html

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Imagine
//oo\\
http://eliv8.fws1.com/

[This message has been edited by Eliv8 (edited 10-03-2001).]
 
"Helen Pausewang"

I just love these names they make up. Trust me. If the Klingerman Foundation thing was real, we'd be hearing it on the network news, not in e-mail forwards or chain letters! This isn't the 19th century anymore! We have this thing called "mass media."

And why would Lockheed Martin be distributing such a message?! They are a private defense contractor, not a public health organization.

Some things are just too improbable to be real, and this is one of them. If it were real, you'd know about it via a legitimate source.

Melon

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"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time
 
Last night I forced my cat to drink coke and eat pop rocks. The poor guy was gone in 2 minutes. He blew up in about 8743453 pieces!!!
eek.gif


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-The Shitty Beatles? Are they any good?

-They suck!

-So it's not just a clever name...

[This message has been edited by ~LadyLemon~ (edited 10-03-2001).]
 
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