it's time for "ask whortense"

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Why do i keep ending up with these "spontaneous" bruises? Look, i don't play rough. I don't get it.
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and for the love of God, why am i asking YOU this?

how fecking long does Bathtime Fun Whoretense sleep for? Start answering some of these pressing questions you little tart!
 
Does TripthruUreWires know that I have a super secret crush on her?
 
Originally posted by socalu2fan:
Does TripthruUreWires know that I have a super secret crush on her?

Now she does
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. Guess there's no need to drag that old hag--Whoretense--into it. Well, i'm blushing...which in turn, makes me pink, red, black and blue all at once. *trip instinctively bats her eyes at socalu2fan*
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Can you explain in great and explicit detail what herpes is and what it does to your body?


~rougerum
 
whortense:

What did DiamondBruno8 mean last night in chat when he stated that I am "sexy"? He said the same of doctorwho, who was not present.
 
Originally posted by Calluna:
Dear Bathtime Fun Whortense,

What did Edge really record himself saying that night when he took the mushrooms and discovered the secret of the universe?

And why does sicy's brand new computer keep crashing?


he discovered the sweet, sweet bathtime fun love? of bathtime fun whortense?.

microsoft has no competition and government has deregulated to the degree that it is fully legal to sell bug-infested software. windows is probably fucking her computer up.


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~whortense wiffin
walla walla, washington
 
Originally posted by Mr. MacPhisto:
What the hell does 'plot180' mean?!

gibberish eminating from the eno-esque "passsengers" album.

the so-called film behind "plot 180":

"Hypnotize (Love me 'til Dawn)". An influential and vindictive journalist (Pila Morgan) is being driven back to London from another successful 'scoop'. Evans, the chaffeur (Tony Corbin) is new to her, and, in the face of a snowstorm, seems rather too willing to allow the vehicle to become immobilized on a remote moorland road. During the night they spend together,a vortex of apprehension, lust and finally terror draws the film to its inexorable conclusion as the real identity of Evans gradually dawns. Using the austere language of British Structuralist cinema and a screen that is kept almost black throughout the film, Sedgeley generates a tension that is both erotic and deeply menacing.

what you have is a strictly formal plot in the beginning of the film. the business-like chauffeur carts around the reporter without a care in the world. a "180" degree turn hits. a snowstorm immobilizes them. the business relationship turns into a torrid sexual affair. hence, the "plot" does a "180."

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~whortense wiffin
walla walla, washington
 
ah finally youve started could you please slip mine first and answer this:

why is bearess congruant to francesca behemoth?

thank you

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~stadtmueller
 
Originally posted by LarryMullen's_POPAngel:
Dear Whortense,

Why am I always so insatiable?

What is that thing in the corner of my bedroom?

Where is the beef?

Lastly, do you think there's a deep seated psychological imbalance that makes me love the album *POP* so much?


1) you have high standards
2) fecal bacteria
3) at the grocery store wrapped in cellophane
4) no

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~whortense wiffin
walla walla, washington
 
Originally posted by sharky:
Why does everyone think I'm a guy?

Why don't I get my ass in gear and send a photo to NicaMom's photo gallery so people realize I'm not a guy?


1) you have a very boyish moniker
2) you enjoy your privacy, but, also, you can't find any pictures you like of yourself

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~whortense wiffin
walla walla, washington
 
Originally posted by madzia:
popworm.gif

what is the meaning of life?

why is it so cold here?

when will I have enough money to buy a car?

why do men stare at breasts?

will u answer those quastions?

1) balance
2) bono air conditions his underwear drawer
3) they plump when you cook them
4) perhaps

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~whortense wiffin
walla walla, washington
 
Originally posted by The_Sweetest_Thing:
Will I ever get to dance with Bono?

Why is my roommate mad at me?

WIll MIkey really eat anything?

Why hasn't Bono found what he's looking for yet?


1) no
2) bull-headedness and miscommunication
3) no
4) it's popular not to

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~whortense wiffin
walla walla, washington
 
Originally posted by SweetOnU2:
Here are some Q's that have been puzzling me as of late...

Should Vegetarians eat animal crackers?

To be or not to be?
confused.gif


If you poke yourself with a lead pencil,will you get lead poisening?

Can I go tinkle?


Please HELP me Whortense!!



1) yes, unless you believe that the animal crackers somehow inhabit the reincarnated spirits of animals long eaten.

2) be.

3) no, because pencils are made of graphite (carbon), not lead

4) if you promise to tinkle in the little pink bathtime fun potty? with a real bell? to let your mommy know she can dump it.

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~whortense wiffin
walla walla, washington
 
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