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Old 01-27-2002, 05:09 PM   #1
War Child
 
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Location: Tucson, AZ ....USA
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For all the Macphisto fans!

here for your reading pleasure are some Macphisto phone call transcripts that i found today in my travels:


[[ "Desire" ends ]]

Phone Call To George Bush
(Starts dialing)
I think it's time to speak to the President,
Whadd'ya think?
(White House)
Hello, is that the White House?
(Yes..?)
Ah, hi, I'd like to speak to George Bush if I could, please, yeah
(The president's not available!)
The president is not available...
(He's not available..)
For the people of WISCONSIN?
(To who am I speaking?)
Ah. you're, it's a, this is Elvis here
(Elvis?)
Yeah.
(Well, sorry Elvis, the offices aren't open)
Well, could, could, could I, could I leave a message for the president,
please?
(What's your message?)
I'd just like to say that I'm alive, he's dead.
(Just a moment, please)
God bless you, I love you, bye-bye
(Hangs up)

[[ "Ultraviolet (Light My Way)" starts ]]


--


[[ "Desire" ends ]]
[Bono sings]
Buy a taste of Martinin
The most beautiful drink in the world
It's the right one
It's the bright one
That's Martini

That's a good one
Look what you've done to me, you've made me famous
And to that end I thank you

I know you want you
So I bought these
[Platform shoes]
Round about this time of night
I often make a telephone call
Often to the president of the United States
Tonight I'm going to call the Chancellor, Mr. Kohl]
[Macphisto sings]
Getting to know you....
When you get famous people give you your phone number

Hello I'd like to speak to the chancellor Mr. Kohl please
One moment please
Thank you
La la la la la
La la la la la

Yes a little bit

And who are you?
My name is MacPhisto, Mr. Macphisto

Becoming an even closer friend
[Phone Answer]
Do you know what time it is,
[Macphisto]
Yes I know the time
Yes I know a lot of things
You know at the
Can I leave a message
Yes, of course
Thank the chancellor for letting me back in the country

[[ "Ultraviolet (Light My Way)" starts ]]


---


[[ "Desire" ends ]]
[Macphisto speaks]
I don't want no easy action
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
What a night!
[Explosion of Zoo Ecus, Crowd screams]
What a showw!
What an evening!
What a wonderful place!
My Zoooropaaa!
Zooooropaaa!
My Zoooooropa!
[Cheers]
Jolly good.
[Guitar ends]
Thank you
[Crowd screams]
[Bono/MacPhisto sort of singing "Moon River"]
Mooon River
Wide-er than a mile
I'm crossing you in style
Some day
[Mac says]
I love that one
[Mac asks]
Do you like... that one?
[Crowd]
[Cheers]
[Mac]
I should come up here more often, you're so kind...
[Cheers]
[Mac]
I think the people of the North are so generous
[Crowd cheers loudly]
[Mac]
I mean you've been given the nuclear waste of the world and you take it!
[Little reaction]
My goodness you take the nuclear waste of the world,
What a generous thing to do
I have a personal friend who's idea it was....the Minister for Enviroment, Mr. Gumner, shall I give him a telephone call?
[Crowd cheers loudly]
I think he'd love to thank you personally....
People give you there telephone numbers when you're very famous....
[Dial tone]
[Mac dials]
Zero-seven-two-eight-eight-six-zero five two four
Let's hope he's at home
[Rings]
[Woman]
Hello?
[Woman]
Hello, I'd like to speak to Mr. Gummer please
[Woman]
Who is this, please?
[Woman]
My name is Macphisto, I think uh he knows me quite well actually
[Woman]
Mac what, sorry?
[Mac]
My name is Macphisto- M-A-C-P-H-I-S-T-O
[Woman]
I'm uh afraid he's not in at the moment, I'm very sorry..
[Crowd boos]
[Mac]
Mr. Gummer?
[Woman]
Uh, Would you like to speak to him later?
[Mac]
Welll...But he's a personal friend of mine and I have a few friends and I know he'd like to thank them personally
[Cheers]
[Woman]
Well I'm sure he would, would you like to speak later to him, because I'm afraid he's out for the moment
[Mac]
You're sure he's not asleep?
[Woman]
I'm absolutely sure he's not asleep
[Mac]
C-Could I leave a message for him
[Woman]
Yes of course
[Mac singing a snippet from Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called To Say I Love You"]
I just called
To say
I love you
I just called to say how much I care

[[ "Ultraviolet (Light My Way)" starts]]


---


[[ "Desire" ends ]]

[Bono/MacPhisto Speaking:]
Do you know who I am?
[Crowd answers]
Yessssss
[MacPhisto]
Oh I know who you are
I know you proably even better than you know yourself.
What a night, what a show, Zooropa it's all over
[Crowd]
Noooooooooo
[MacPhisto]
So many have turned out to see us, I don't know what to say...thank you thank you thank you thank you
[Crowd cheers]
But you know there's someone who used to come and see us all the time and who hasn't been around for awhile.
We used to be so close. People think I've forgotten about him, but I haven't. I used to find him so inspiring
back then; he invented me. I was his most magnificent creation; the brightest star in his sky. Now look at me:
A tired old pop star in platform shoes...
[Cheers]
I tried to speak to him all the time but he won't take my calls. But I get blamed for everything; all the wars,
all the famine, all the trouble in the world' I get blamed for it.
[Crowd]
Ohhhhhhh..
[MacPhisto]
Even "the Evening Herald" slags me off.
[Crowd cheers]
Who can I get to help me make peace with him? Who will mediate for me? And.....Shall I call the United Nations?

[Cheers]
Maybe they can help me.
Off with the horns, on with the show.
[Dials four numbers]
[Rings]
Shhhh
[Rings]
[Rings]
Hello?
Hello?
[Recorded voice]
You have reached the offices of the United Nations. I'm sorry, we're closed for lunch.
But if you're a small Third World Nation facing genocide, please leave the name of your country after
the beep, and we'll get back to you as soon as possible
[Crowd laughs]
[Macphisto]
Ahhh
[Beep!]

[[ "Help" starts ]]


---

[[ "Daddy's Gonna Pay For Your Crashed Car" ends ]]


[Macphisto claps and says in his British accent]
Thank you,
Oh,
Daddy always pays
Look what you've done to me
Tokyo, look what you've done to me,
You've made me very famous and I thank you
[Cheers]
Now I know you like your pop stars to be glamorous, so I bought these
[Points to platform shoes]
Do you like them?
[Cheers]
You should, you know....Don't you think Rock and Roll has come a long way, yesss...I do
And it's taken it's toll let me tell you
On this very tour we've had four marriages....fourteen divorces...fifteen babies born...twelve people got arrested, we've sacked five people and one crew member left the entourage to become a Franciscan Monk THANK YOU
[Cheers]
We've met some fine people along the way and...where would we be without our closest friends and uh, before I...make a telephone call to my closest friend, I'd like to introduce you to my band....on the right we have Reggie the dog, The Edge....
[Cheers]
On my left, we have the cat who got the cream Adam Clayton, -al Jr.
[Cheers]
Standing behind me, Boy George's wet dream, Larry Mullen, Jr.
[Cheers]
And now if you'll excuse me, I'm rather tired I'd like to call...somebody I've gotten very close to since I got to Tokyo
[Dials three numbers, hits send]
Hello?
I'd like to speak to Madonna
Hello?
I'd like to speak to Madonna
This is Mr. Macphisto here,
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?

[[ "Lemon" starts ]]


---


[[ end of "Desire" ]]

Off with the horns, on with the show
Eurovision

If you're feeling uptight [quote from Teach In's winning ]
And things are not going right [song of the European Song Contest]
Then you got a song you go ding-dinga-dong [in 1975. ]
If you're feeling funny
When the day ain't sunny
Then you've got a song it goes ding-dinga-dong
Dinga-dong every hour
Dinga-dong in a shower
Even when your lover has gone, gone, gone
Sing ding-ding-dong

Eurovision [Crowd sings "always look on the]
[Bright sight of life. tu-du tu-du]

Well, it's the last one, isn't it
It's the last Eurovision, tomorrow night [Bono's birthday]
Yes, I feel like a whole era has come to an end

Pop music just won't ever be so exciting again, will it
I knew them all you know,
Lou Lou [Former Eurovision concert winner]
And the Brotherhood of Men [Former Eurovision concert winner]
Teaching in [Teach In]
I thought them everything they knew, I
I showed them what to do
I thought them who to be
I know you young people like your popstars to be exciting
[He shows his gold platform shoes]
Look what you've done to me
The last time I was here I, I was only 5 feet 8
Now look at me, I'm gigantic
You've made me very famous and I thank you
I'd like to introduce you to *my* band
On the right we have Riggi the Doll (?)
Quite a singer Larry Mullen Junior
And the only, soul boogie brother in the band;
Adam Clayton Campbell [Crowd cheers]
Roundabout this time every night
I make a phone call [Crowd cheers]
Sometimes to the President of the United States
But tonight I'm going to call a taxi [Crowd boos]
To take me home

[He dials the number] [Ultra Violet in background]

[MacPhisto] [Girl from taxi]
Ja goedenavond [Good evening]
Hello Hello
Hello, I'd like to order a taxi
to take me home, I'm very tired Yes?
My name is MacPhisto And the address?
Oh you know me Yes
You know me very well *laugh* I don't know
But I know you Yes
Only even better than you know yourself Hahahaha! Ja ja!

How do you know me?


[[ "Ultra Violet (Light my way)" ]]


.......and for your listening pleasure!
http://www.macphisto.net/phonecalls/mp3.htm


!



...sorry i'm bored and have no life; boring Sunday *sigh*

------------------
' I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name. . .'
.:. U2: Rock's Unbreakable Heart!
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Old 01-27-2002, 05:12 PM   #2
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You're sexy.

------------------
Look what you did, you little JERK!

Kevin! You're such a disease!
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Old 01-27-2002, 05:22 PM   #3
War Child
 
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Tucson, AZ ....USA
Posts: 528
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me & Macphisto both, yeah baby yeah!-- you're sexy too!



------------------
' I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name. . .'
.:. U2: Rock's Unbreakable Heart!
U2002revolution! is offline  
Old 01-27-2002, 06:29 PM   #4
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Yep, thats my Man!!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------------
MacPhisto's official BITCH
^^ Mrs. MacPhisto ^^ is offline  
Old 01-27-2002, 07:26 PM   #5
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Thanks, very entertaining!

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