Actually, I pretty much agree with you generally no convincing needed. I've thoughtfully crossed out that which I disagree with. Anyway, COBL is definitely U2 trying to recreate Streets, that's inarguable, and they sound like they're trying too hard throughout this record.
But COBL doesn't have to be in the same universe as Streets (it's not, few songs are) to still be a pretty great song, which I think it is, despite its derivative nature. Everything is relative, and relatively speaking, I like COBL quite a bit, recognising its limitations. Sure, it would be nice if U2 created something great that was new, rather than trying to recreate former glories. But having said that, I like COBL for what it is, rather than disliking it for what it's not. Soon enough people around here are going to realise that, with very, very few exceptions, 50+ year olds just aren't going to create ground breaking rock music. With or without Danger Mouse.
As for Vertigo, you're probably right, but from what I could see on U23D, it's HUGE in South America.