PopFly
War Child
Before the show....
MTV Technician: Okay guys, let's get everything set up.
Edge: Okay.
MTV Technician: Whoa whoa whoa, what are those things?
Adam: Ehm, guitars.
MTV Technician: What are they?
Edge: Uh, instruments. I play the lead guitar, and Adam plays the bass.
MTV Technician: Oh, so you're not really IN the band, then. You're just in the backing band.
Edge: No, we're both members of U2.
MTV Technician: You mean you guys are actually artists that play their own instruments? Far out. What'll you foreigners think of next?
Edge: Good lord...
(Edge and Adam stroll off, tuning their guitars. Bono and Larry walk over to the technician)
Bono: Say, where will my microphone be?
MTV Technician: Right here, Boh-noh.
Bono: Uh, it's actually pronounced 'Bonno.'
MTV Technician: Sure sure, whatever. Anyway, here's the mic.
Bono: This is a headset mic.
MTV Technician: Uh, yes it is. Is there a problem with it?
Bono: I'm not really a headset mic kind of guy. Headset mics aren't punk rock things to do; when we were back in the clubs watching the Ramones, Television, and the Clash, I don't remember them ever wearing headset mics...
Larry: BONO!
Bono: Huh?
Larry: You were saying something about the microphone?
Bono: Oh, right. Sorry. Like I was saying, I'd prefer a standing mic.
MTV Technician: It'll be easier with the headset, trust me. You guys are playing the Tomb Raider song, right?
Larry: Er, yeah....
MTV Technician: Then you'll be jumping around, just like that Lara Croft chick in the video. Trust me: headset mics look more professional. They free up your arms for the dance number and make it look like you're really singing up there!
Larry: Now just a second here, U2 doesn't lip-sync. Bono can sing on his own.
Bono: That's right. I don't recall Joey Ramone ever lip-syncing. Punk rock is about stripping things down, not...wait a minute, what was that about a dance number? (Bono gets a faraway look in his eye)
Larry: Don't give him any ideas!
(Larry leads Bono away. The show director walks onto the stage)
MTV Technician: We might have some trouble here, sir. Apparently this band plays their own instruments and the singer wants to sing the song live. These UB4 guys sure are weird.
Director: They're not so different from the boy bands and the rappers. Why, I saw the fellow in the glasses rolling a joint with Snoop Dogg in the back. I'll bet the band was just joking around.
MTV Technician: Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll just plug the feed into the...say, which ones are the speakers and which ones are the amps?
Director: Don't ask me. I won this job in a contest at mtv.com
(Director and Technician exit)
------------------
They want you to be Jesus
They'll go down on one knee
But they'll want their money back
If you're alive at thirty-three
And you're turning tricks
With your crucifix
You're a star
"I can't watch a man sing a song. He gets all emotional, he starts swaying...it's embarrassing!" -- Jerry Seinfeld
MTV Technician: Okay guys, let's get everything set up.
Edge: Okay.
MTV Technician: Whoa whoa whoa, what are those things?
Adam: Ehm, guitars.
MTV Technician: What are they?
Edge: Uh, instruments. I play the lead guitar, and Adam plays the bass.
MTV Technician: Oh, so you're not really IN the band, then. You're just in the backing band.
Edge: No, we're both members of U2.
MTV Technician: You mean you guys are actually artists that play their own instruments? Far out. What'll you foreigners think of next?
Edge: Good lord...
(Edge and Adam stroll off, tuning their guitars. Bono and Larry walk over to the technician)
Bono: Say, where will my microphone be?
MTV Technician: Right here, Boh-noh.
Bono: Uh, it's actually pronounced 'Bonno.'
MTV Technician: Sure sure, whatever. Anyway, here's the mic.
Bono: This is a headset mic.
MTV Technician: Uh, yes it is. Is there a problem with it?
Bono: I'm not really a headset mic kind of guy. Headset mics aren't punk rock things to do; when we were back in the clubs watching the Ramones, Television, and the Clash, I don't remember them ever wearing headset mics...
Larry: BONO!
Bono: Huh?
Larry: You were saying something about the microphone?
Bono: Oh, right. Sorry. Like I was saying, I'd prefer a standing mic.
MTV Technician: It'll be easier with the headset, trust me. You guys are playing the Tomb Raider song, right?
Larry: Er, yeah....
MTV Technician: Then you'll be jumping around, just like that Lara Croft chick in the video. Trust me: headset mics look more professional. They free up your arms for the dance number and make it look like you're really singing up there!
Larry: Now just a second here, U2 doesn't lip-sync. Bono can sing on his own.
Bono: That's right. I don't recall Joey Ramone ever lip-syncing. Punk rock is about stripping things down, not...wait a minute, what was that about a dance number? (Bono gets a faraway look in his eye)
Larry: Don't give him any ideas!
(Larry leads Bono away. The show director walks onto the stage)
MTV Technician: We might have some trouble here, sir. Apparently this band plays their own instruments and the singer wants to sing the song live. These UB4 guys sure are weird.
Director: They're not so different from the boy bands and the rappers. Why, I saw the fellow in the glasses rolling a joint with Snoop Dogg in the back. I'll bet the band was just joking around.
MTV Technician: Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll just plug the feed into the...say, which ones are the speakers and which ones are the amps?
Director: Don't ask me. I won this job in a contest at mtv.com
(Director and Technician exit)
------------------
They want you to be Jesus
They'll go down on one knee
But they'll want their money back
If you're alive at thirty-three
And you're turning tricks
With your crucifix
You're a star
"I can't watch a man sing a song. He gets all emotional, he starts swaying...it's embarrassing!" -- Jerry Seinfeld
