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Old 08-08-2002, 10:05 PM   #1
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Yikes....my coworker has a stalker

she had a fling with a guy a few years back, and when it was finally over, she moved on.

anyway, this guy started harrassing her, calling her day and night (not talking, just either breathing or playing music over the phone....creepy), following her around, hanging around outside her office, but of course because he never "did" anything harmful to her, she couldn't even file a restraining order on him.

she moved around, had more than one unlisted phone number and yet he always found her. apparently today she got a phone call from him in our office, and was shook up really badly, she thought she'd gotten away from him....

anybody know if there's anything she CAN do to keep this guy away from her? She said he's not a maniac or anything...but isn't that what you always hear before the guy goes off on someone? "He was really quiet, and very nice." Plus she's got kids, so is ever more fearful because of them. It's just....creepy. Why do some people get so wacked out like that?

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Old 08-08-2002, 11:58 PM   #2
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that is scary, Disco...

I did a search on Stalking Laws in Texas, and found the following link...hope this helps


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Old 08-09-2002, 12:11 AM   #3
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not cool.

i guess what id do, if i were her, is tell as many people about it as possible...that can only help her cause so that everyone knows the situation shes in...it can also help trace his wherabouts, and she can take a counter-offensive akton against that bastard.

but ya, that has to be a sickening feeling. i had a gay guy stalk me on the internet for a few months, a couple of years ago, and it really sucked. his emails got more and more threatening... not much i could do but load up my inbox till it was full so that his messages would bounce back.

then i got my beatrice.

ofcourse that is nothing compared to what shes deeling with.

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Old 08-09-2002, 12:14 AM   #4
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Old 08-09-2002, 01:17 AM   #5
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i would take self defence classes, and when i know my shit, confront him, and kick the living shit out of him if a guy stalked me like that. thats just me.

thats messed up how the legal system works right now. i hope your friend finds a way of stopping him from harrassing you or putting him in jail for a long time. let us know what happens, i'll be praying for your friend.
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Old 08-09-2002, 04:20 AM   #6
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How utterly frightening. She must be so mad! poor woman.

Self defence is a great idea. A personal alarm, capsicum spray, caller ID, deadbolts, a whistle to blow hard into the phone (it apparently causes temporary deafness and pain in the ear), maybe a nightstick in her handbag...I dont know. I would freak right out and not think too clearly if I was her.

I guess she has already taken precautions but ask her about her kids school or child care, make sure they know someone is harassing her and not to let any strangers see her kids or God forbid try and pick them up after school, talk to them in the playground etc.

You're right about how he 'seemed nice'. Its the possibilities of what he may try and do which is the worry. That is a real unknown.

She must consider him completely off his rocker so her back is never turned. Anyone who has the mindset to stalk, the patience required to find where she works, all her unlisted numbers, is a real sick ****. She should not rest on the fact he was once a 'nice guy'.

Shit when you consider the magnitude of what he's doing, it gets so much worse. I really hope she stays safe. Good luck to her Discoteque.
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Old 08-09-2002, 02:23 PM   #7
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In light of how she must feel...

Best advice is to read the publication posted in the first posting....I had a jilted ex do the same to a more extreme level in the 90's though I left him because he changed...became abusive, I divorced him and got on with my life..at the time stalking laws were slack in MI and I couldn't get a restraining order either even though I was being outright threatened......and stalkers can be dangerous...you don't know what they are doing in their free time or how they think...don't fall for any of their tactics. He called continually sometimes up to 50 times a day and argued with me, threatened my parents, brothers and sisters..one of my little brothers was very ill at the time going through multiple surgeries, chemo and radiation therapies and he knew I was there helping..called my work and kept trying to have me overhead paged for emergencies pretending at times even to be my little brother...my boss helped out here blocking him...He even called a few of my friends at their jobs and threatened them and kept trying to get dates with other nurses that were in my classes to keep tabs on me and find out where I was...he was sitting down the road from my parent's home in a new truck with a gun figuring that if he couldn't have me nobody would...I think he even stole my cat...following me back and forth to work and class.

I was terrified...I moved to a different town got a non-published number...a new job and broke most ties with my friends and family to keep them safe and took back streets looping through town in multiple figure eights (good thing gas used to be inexpensive) to work and my classes every day to keep him from catching a tail on me. I had to quit dating for a while..though there was a guy I liked at the time I didn't want him endangered at all...For the most part it worked...he didn't follow me any more because I didn't leave any trails...(hopefully the good people of that town didn't think I was nuts driving around aimlessly for hours at a time) Peace of mind came when I moved from the State.

1. Get a restraining order if you can. If you are continually being called and harassed by this person they will not stop and it is very frightening and they will give you the order for this. Simply speaking to the stalker even if to tell them you are not interested reinforces the behavior. The last time a guy tried this it cost me 5$ and gave me some peace of mind and got him away from my doorstep.

2. Use it. Call 911 every time they bother you or show up. Talk to a detective and see if they can set you up with one of those phone tracers...they work.
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Old 08-09-2002, 07:18 PM   #8
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Wow, that's pretty freaky. She should definitely make sure people know where she is at all times and start carrying pepper spray.

One of my coworkers is sort of being stalked by her ex-boyfriend. He drives past her house several times a day, and he calls her at home and at work and just hangs up. I'm the receptionist, so whenever we get a hang up she asks me to go tell her. She's hoping that if she keeps on ignoring him he'll eventually give up, but it's been going on for at least 3 months. I guess this is more common than I thought!
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Old 08-09-2002, 08:30 PM   #9
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Its too bad but...

I think it is pretty common...I feel sorry for her having to go through that. You know...at home you can always fix your fax to pick the calls up...lmao (i've done that before)...totall block their number if you know what it is......or if you don't have caller ID just start talking like you are one of those directing voicemail things and tell them to press a number to be connected to a voicemail for you or to press another one to be connected to (use a guys name)and hang up after they press a number..lmao..(I still have my great sense of humor...good thing)

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