Lovable Cubs and Red Sox fans? Fool says good riddance
Betting Fool, SF Gate
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
?2003 SF Gate
http://sfgate.com/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2003/10/21/fool247.DTL
What is so lovable about being a loser? The best thing about the World Series is not David Wells' gelatinous gut or Miguel Cabrera's fuzzy cheeks. It's that Red Sox and Cubs fans have nothing to look forward to: no more choking, no more whining, no more losing, no more baseball.
I kept hearing that the country wanted a Red Sox-Cubs World Series because those long-suffering fans would finally feel joy. Oh, and so the preppy pinheads at ESPN could continue their BoSox-fueled wet dreams. The entire nation, said the media, was behind the Cubs.
Nobody cares about long-suffering Giants fans, or short-suffering A's fans or Arizona Cardinals fans or SMU football fans. Atlanta Hawks fans? All 16 of them are routinely ignored.
Cubs fans? Losers all. You're not cute, you're not fun and you're mostly pathetic. Have another Heineken at some overcrowded pickup bar.
The way they attacked the people who dared touch a baseball coming down in their seats showed staggering ignorance. Every one of them would have done the same thing. That play didn't cost the Cubs anything.
The Cubs -- and Dusty Baker -- cost the Cubs everything.
The "lovable" Cubs were up 3-2 with their two best pitchers going at home against a grim collection of Marlin mediocrity in Carl Pavano and Mark Redman. They gagged like the Bills in the Super Bowl.
Hey, Dusty, that series of line drives coming off the bats of the slap-hitting Marlins? Yeah, that's about nine in a row, might wanna go get Kerry Wood.
Hey, Smilin' Sammy, now that the world has forgiven you for cheating (how does he get off the hook so fast?) -- you can go back to Fraudville and stare at yourself in the mirror.
Hey, Cubs bellpen, here's a match to go with that 5-gallon container of gasoline and that portable flame thrower.
As for the Red Sox fans, I got a full dose of them in Oakland during the playoffs. They are the most intelligent fans in all of baseball, just ask them. They can break down a first-and-third situation -- and all the possible ways to defense it -- better than any Boston manager.
They are also bullies and pompous gasbags and are -- for the most part -- incapable of winning with grace.
Of course the nation wanted to see the Red Sox in the World Series. Baseball fans everywhere could have planned their lives rather easily as Boston would have been swept, choking and gagging and complaining all the way to the end.
Is there a bigger jackass in sports than Pedro Martinez? I think not. Given a 4-0 lead and the weight of the entire Boston sports scene (the most important sports scene in the history of the world no doubt) Pedro crumbled like a year-old cookie. Pedro's evil twin? Roger Clemens.
Lovable Cubs and Red Sox fans? I say screw 'em and good riddance.