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Old 08-28-2002, 03:42 AM   #1
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Why its great to be a man...

This may have been posted before...possibley by myself. I cant remember but hey, it made me laugh then, and it made me laugh now!!

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency
crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15 . People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
thinking "He must be mad at me."
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a
nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on
December 24th, in minutes.
37. The world is your urinal.

Ten Things men know for sure about women.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. They have breasts.
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Old 08-28-2002, 04:20 AM   #2
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You don't have to leave the room to make emergency
crotch adjustments


No, but you should!
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Old 08-28-2002, 04:33 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by bono_man
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency
crotch adjustments
Sometimes you do...
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Old 08-28-2002, 06:23 AM   #4
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this thread=a dimon 5 ***** rating.
thank u
db9
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Old 08-28-2002, 06:49 AM   #5
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and that just gives it the extra stamp of achievement, JOn, u lucky thing
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Old 08-28-2002, 08:03 AM   #6
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diamond agree's manda cos its all true!!
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Old 08-28-2002, 08:45 AM   #7
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1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. YOU HAVE TO TRY HARDER AND GENERALLY BE BETTER
2. Your orgasms are real. Always. WE KNOW HOW TO PLEASE...UNLIKE YOU LOT
3. Your last name stays put. IT WOULD MAKE THINGS TO COMPLICATED FOR YOU TO CHANGE IT - WE UNDERSTAND
4. The garage is all yours. YOU NEED ONE FOR YOUR PENIS EXTENSIONS YOU CALL YOUR CAR
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. COS YOU ARE ALL BONE IDLE LAZY AND COULDN'T ORGANISE A CHOOK RAFFLE
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. YET BITCH BECAUSE YOUR MATE GOT ACTION AND YOU NEVER DO
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. BUT YOU DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING ANYWAY...SO
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. YOU HAVE TO GET IT CUT EVERY 6 WEEKS, WHO THE HELL WILL CARE THAT OFTEN?
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. YOU FANTASIZE ABOUT IT THOUGH DONT YOU?
10. Same work .. more pay. MORE STRESS, MORE RESPONSIBILITY - YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR WAY UP THAT BULLSHIT LADDER DONT YOU? HA HA THE LAUGH IS ON US
11. Wrinkles-add character. THEY AGE YOU QUICKER
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency
crotch adjustments. YOU ARE SO CLASSY YOU DONT CARE WHEN PEOPLE CAN NOTICE YOUR INADEQUATE BULGE POKING THROUGH
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. NO ONE NOTICES YOU ON THE DAY - IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO WASTE ALL THAT MONEY ON YOU
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. IF ITS LIQUID, YOU WILL DRINK IT.
15 . People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. BECAUSE YOU HAVE FAIRLY BORING CHESTS THAT APPEAL TO SO FEW USUALLY DUE TO YOUR ABUNDANCE OF FLAB
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. AND AREN'T MEN'S SHOES JUST SO ...SEXY? THAT DOESN'T WORK DOES IT FELLAS...
17. One mood, ALL the damn time. EMOTIONLESS BASTARDS
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. THAT IS BECAUSE YOU CANNOT STRING MORE THAN 2 SENTENCES TOGETHER.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. YOU DONT PLAN AHEAD FOR ANYTHING DO YOU GUYS?
20. You can open all your own jars. SUCH HANDY SKILLS WILL GET YOU OH SO FAR....
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. SO RARE, YES IT IS WORTH REMEMBERING
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. AND STILL YOU MANAGE TO GET HOLES IN THEM AFTER A FEW MONTHS. MAYBE YOU COULD STOP ADJUDTING YOURSELVES AND WEARING THEM OUT?
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. YOU RECKON? WE ASSUME YOU MUST BE...NEVERMIND...NO, NO ONE NOTICES JONBOY...
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. AND SILENTLY CRITIQUE THE DRIVER'S SKILL
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. WHICH IS WHY YOU OFTEN LEAVE THE HOUSE LOOKING LIKE A BOOFUS
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
thinking "He must be mad at me." FACE IT, YOU CANNOT TALK AND WATCH AT THE SAME TIME. NO MULTI-TASKING FOR YOUR GENDER
27. No maxi-pads. NO FREEBIE SYMPATHY
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong friends. AND BE RIDICULED BY EVERYONE IN THE ROOM
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. YOU ARE PROBABLY COLOUR BLIND ANYWAY - IT AFFECTS MORE MEN YOU KNOW...
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a
nut on a bolt. YES, YOU ARE HANDY WITH NUTS AREN'T YOU?
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. UNABLE TO IRON THEM OUT TOO...
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. SEE UNLIKE YOU LOT, WE REALISED THE MULLET WAS DATED
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. COVERS IT COMEPLETELY IF YOU DRINK ENOUGH BEER
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. LIFE LONG DAG STATUS.
35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. AND DONT THEY ALWAYS LOOK WELL LOOKED AFTER? NOT.
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on
December 24th, in minutes. AND IT SHOWS...SO MUCH THOUGHT...
37. The world is your urinal. DISGUSTING CREATURES AERN'T YOU? NEANDERTHAL HAS A MEANING YOU KNOW
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Old 08-28-2002, 09:03 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. YOU ARE PROBABLY COLOUR BLIND ANYWAY - IT AFFECTS MORE MEN YOU KNOW...
AcrobatMan is colour-blind
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Old 08-28-2002, 10:17 AM   #9
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Normal

i angie.
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Old 08-28-2002, 10:22 AM   #10
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As much as angela drove men through the dirt I must give props!!

That is truely witty stuff!!!
bahahahahaha
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Old 08-28-2002, 10:27 AM   #11
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Cocky men suck. Therefore most men suck.

Angie just became my own personal hero.
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Old 08-28-2002, 10:42 AM   #12
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LMAO ang

classic
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Old 08-28-2002, 10:58 AM   #13
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Re: Cocky men suck. Therefore most men suck.

Quote:
Originally posted by Ali Rose
Angie just became my own personal hero.
ditto.
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Old 08-28-2002, 11:02 AM   #14
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Go Angie get busy

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Old 08-28-2002, 11:04 AM   #15
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a Hex on underwear
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