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Old 05-11-2008, 12:53 AM   #16
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To get away from the hookers.

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Old 05-11-2008, 02:24 AM   #17
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what did the Wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs!

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Old 05-11-2008, 03:34 AM   #18
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Old 05-20-2008, 07:12 AM   #19
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was
time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
dialog with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped
that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes
me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
about me...

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after
the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What
we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's
acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems
before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
OUR SIDE of the road, or not. The chicken is either AGAINST
US, or for us. There is no MIDDLE GROUND here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am
not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's
GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that
chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you
people see the plain truth?' That's why they call
it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media white washes with
seemingly harmless phrases like 'the
other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the
road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^(C% .... Reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or
did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some
black chickens.
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Old 05-22-2008, 02:15 AM   #20
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Mel Gibson
To get away from the f***ing Jews who were taking over its farm!

Any wacko 911 conspiracy theorist
Chicken? What chicken? The government wants you to think that there WAS a chicken but there wasn't - you only THINK you saw a chicken cross the road because that's what the government SAID that's what happened. Actually, the chicken was a CGI image and the road was placed there to make it look real but the whole thing was an inside job with the government working closely with Pepperidge Farms.....
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Old 05-24-2008, 01:13 AM   #21
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