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Old 07-14-2003, 04:20 PM   #31
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get back in IO!!!
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Old 07-14-2003, 04:28 PM   #32
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Boomcha you scare me.

Stop offering me candy while trying to pick me up from school. I'm wise to your tricks. Just because you can read my name off my special shirt with my name written across it, doesn't mean that I can't recognize a stranger!

PS- Bad Ronnie, I think you've found yourself a recruit for donation... how about a Boomcha donair.

Mon frere?

Au Pair...

Rhyming in French
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Old 07-14-2003, 04:44 PM   #33
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Cujo, there's nothing to be afraid of.
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Old 07-15-2003, 12:57 AM   #34
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just do the goshdarn ronald.
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Old 07-15-2003, 09:01 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by Red Ships of Scalla-Festa


dear ronald,

i was wondering if youd like to market my melodies. people have often compared my song stylings to those of sting and phil collins.

my doberman and i have been practicing a few tunes in the garage where my parents have me chained to the floor. since i cant go anywhere, i was wondering if you could come here? my parents have donated all my non-essential organs to your company for your kebabs (which arent as tasty as i had imagined), surely it must be worth something to you?

bleeding by my sores, and forever yours,

~gregoire c. lewis.
Dear gregoire cee lewis, Uncle Ronnie don't do house calls. Write some Huey Lewis-style tunes for my new St Louis drivethrough and I might consider giving your doberman a new home. As for you, old tiger, you ain't a frequent donor till you've coughed up a lung or two.

Mind the stains and pass the white sauce,

Your Uncle Ronnie.
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Old 07-15-2003, 11:18 AM   #36
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re: not doing house calls

dear ronnie,

im afraid i cant help you anymore. im sick of your disgusting, twisted games that involve stealing vital organs from children and serving them in a soft taco shell at one of your billions of fast-food outlets world wide.

ill be taking my services to kfc, where the colonel treats me like a war criminal but at least feads me non-human protein.

a lost costumer,

~gregoire c. lewis
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Old 07-15-2003, 02:09 PM   #37
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oh my god.
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Old 07-15-2003, 04:16 PM   #38
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i know.
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Old 07-15-2003, 06:06 PM   #39
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this thread makes me want to throw up.
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Old 07-15-2003, 09:15 PM   #40
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Dear Lost Customer:

You should know that the Colonel and I go waaaaaaay back. Way back.

We used to wear the white sheets if you know what I mean. Colonel Sanders has been doin' the Ronald since there was no Ronald.

Kick back and relax with Colonel Sanders sometime, he's got lots of old civil war stories to share. I was there, I should know.

Do the freaking Ronald.
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Old 07-15-2003, 09:18 PM   #41
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What happened to you and your doberman practising your Phil Collins stylings in the basement? Don't you love your uncle Ronnie no more?
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Old 07-15-2003, 09:36 PM   #42
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i hope ronnie chokes on his own special sauce.

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Old 07-15-2003, 09:39 PM   #43
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lmao!

flower
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Old 07-15-2003, 09:42 PM   #44
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People say I'm an evil corporate megalith, but it ain't fair. I'm just a strugglin' joe, fightin' to feed mother and child like the next guy.

Uncle Ronnie wants to thank you all for chipping in through the special 'Give Ronnie a Home' levy on all mcburgers and donor kebabs. The results are mightily impressive.



I'd say come and visit sometime, but security is tight. It ain't easy bein' a worldwide childrens' icon.
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Old 07-16-2003, 06:59 AM   #45
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