What was the absolute worst motion picture you've ever sat through?

[Lancemc]

And I'm talking about the most mindnumbing, ball-blistering, hot coals-in-your-eyes, awful film you've ever seen.

But there are ground rules to make this a big more reasonable and interesting:

1. Stuff you watched in your childhood because you didn't know any better DOES NOT COUNT

2. Stuff you watched WITH your kids because they didn't know any better DOES NOT COUNT

3. You must have seen the entirety of the film for it to count, meaning for whatever reason, you actually sat and watched the whole ach-inducing duration of the film (or at least most of it, like if you missed the first 5 or 10 minutes on TV or something...who gives a crap, that's OK)

4. Mystery Science Theater DOES NOT COUNT

Personally, my pick comes from Christopher Cain, legendary director of such contemporary classics like "Charlie and the Talking Buzzard", "The Next Karate Kid", and "The Amazing Panda Adventure". All those are glrious notches in Cain's belt of horrifying ineptitude, but I sat through the entirey of what has to be his masterpiece just a couple years ago.

I'm talking of course about the Joe Pesci/Danny Glover classic, Gone Fishin'.

 

[indra]

Battlefield Earth. I actually watched fucking Battlefield Earth in it's entirety.

 

[impy13]

The only answer.



Dishonorable mention:

 

[WinnieThePoo]

Gladiator , flick felt like a cheesy broadway show , a real shitty blockbuster , and It received an oscar , oh well ......

 

[fly so high!]

The Bodyguard - and the accompaning soundtrack....."I will always love you"....the one movie and one song that really truly makes me feel like i want to rip someone's arms off, stuff the soggy bits in their ears and ride them around like a motorbike.

 

[cobl04]

Date Movie.

Putrid.

 

[MaxFisher]

the latest "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "The Lookout".

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

I would say "Dude, Where's My Car?" but I turned it off after the first 20 minutes so I haven’t actually sat through the whole thing...

That being said, I would have to go with:

In my defense I watched it on the Movie Network so I actually didn't "pay" any money to see this. It's amazing what I will watch when its free...

 

[got_edge]

Longshot: The Movie

 

[JessicaAnn]

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

Captain Ron!

 

[UberBeaver]

I think this is the only movie I ever walked out on:

 

[WinnieThePoo]

I think this is the only movie I ever walked out on:

i'm glad i'm not the only one ...

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

I think this is the only movie I ever walked out on:

Then it's disqualified... You had to sit through the whole movie.

I applaud you however on the size of your balls; the Wes Anderson fanboys on here (you know who you are) are going to have a conniption...

 

[UberBeaver]

i'm glad i'm not the only one ...

Then it's disqualified... You had to sit through the whole movie.

I applaud you however on the size of your balls; the Wes Anderson fanboys on here (you know who you are) are going to have a conniption...

If I had stayed for the last 20 minutes or whatever, my opinion would stand. I really wanted to like it, cause I thought Tennenbaums was great, but I felt like I spent 90 minutes waiting for the movie to start, for something to happen.

Thank you for complementing my balls, though. Always appreciated.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

Thank you for complementing my balls, though. Always appreciated.

No charge.

 

[trevster2k]

Pirates of the Caribbean 3

 

[martha]

Cliffhanger.

The one with Sly Stallone.

 

[impy13]

the Wes Anderson fanboys on here (you know who you are)

 

[RedRocksU2]

We stayed throughout the whole movie, I was like..."it will get better, it will get better..."
It didn't.

OMFG!

I was not the only one dissapointed, practically 2/3 of the crowd, booed. Some of the smart ones left early.

 

[Dalton]

Seriously. WTF.

 

[Siren]

The Time Machine...the one with Guy Pierce

 

[LMP]

Then it's disqualified... You had to sit through the whole movie.

I applaud you however on the size of your balls; the Wes Anderson fanboys on here (you know who you are) are going to have a conniption...

I can totally see how people wouldn't like it, so there!

Here are five of the worst movies I've ever seen completely:

5. Fever Pitch

A piece of shit chick flick with no redeeming quality that I was forced to see with my girlfriend. Just stop, Jimmy Fallon, please. The Farrelly Bros. owe me 8 dollars.

4. The Island

Michael Bay fucks up a movie with a cool sci-fi storyline (basically Logan's Run meets Coma, but still a sweet idea). Filled with nothing more than hollow performances by good actors, cheap product placement, and the exact same car chase from Bad Boys II (another shitfest), this movie actually made me want to ask for my money back (at a dollar theater.)

3. Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over

What the fuck, Robert Rodriguez? Really, what the fuck?

2. Date Movie

Apparently the new way to make a "parody" is to take bits of other movies, string them together and use the same jokes but add farts, bodily fluids, and/or midgets and it's SO EFFING FUNNY OMG. I can't even fathom how dumb someone would be to actually enjoy this, let alone greenlight ANOTHER movie like this. The only way I'd watch this again is if someone strapped me to a chair and held my eyes open Clockwork Orange-style, and even then I'd tear my eyelids off and run and away.

1. Batnipple & Robin

How bad is a movie when a 6-year-old knows how terrible it is? Probably really, really bad right? I grew up a huge Batman fan, I still am, but when this movie came out, I kid you not, I almost threw my VHS against the wall. It's almost like WB decided to completely destroy any dignity Batman had left after Batman Forever (a decent but deeply flawed movie). Nipples on the batsuit, hamfisted acting, Arnold Schwarzenegger making a fucking pun about ice every other line, to make matters worse, it's an Uma Thurman movie not involving Quentin Tarantino, so you know it's going to be horrible (except Gattaca). I fucking hate this movie, even the people involved in making it fucking hate this movie. It destroyed comic book adaptations for a good 3 years until X-Men saved the day.

Nipples on the batsuits, guys!

 

[Dalton]

What do you have against nipples?

I like'em.

 

[LMP]

I like nipples, too.

But not on the Batsuit.

 

[corianderstem]

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? That's crazy talk!

I understand it's slow and not much happens, but honestly - the worst movie you've ever sat through?

Mine would have to be Lost In Space. God, did that suck.

I only went because someone had told me there'd be a trailer for the X-Files movie before it. There wasn't.

 

[namkcuR]

I don't know about the worst ever, but "Alexander" was pretty bad.

 

[Dalton]

I don't know about the worst ever, but "Alexander" was pretty bad.

That would be my pick, but I shut it off.

Awful.

 

[UberBeaver]

I don't know about the worst ever, but "Alexander" was pretty bad.

It's worth watching for a few minutes just to hear Angelina Jolie's "accent". I've never seen the whole thing.

 

[LMP]

When's Oliver Stone's "I can't fix this horribly fucked up movie, but I'm still trying" Cut DVD coming out?