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Old 06-12-2002, 05:46 AM   #46
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Your 20's is really a transitional phase. You leave school thinking you will stay best mates with all your school buds. A few weeks after it you think, um, where are they all? There is usually a couple you will stay in touch with. But then you either start work, or go to uni. You met more of the same and think, wow, great friends I've been meeting lately. So you have a bunch of new and a few old.
Then you leave uni/college or move around in your jobs. Friends start getting hitched and you think here we go again. Why do I keep losing these people who I thought were gonna be around forever?
When we are kids, we are kept together by the safety of the lives our parent make for us. In our 20's we are building the foundations for our own lives. Its the time where we move a lot, we change things around, scoot off to seek new experiences.
Some of us settle early. Some of us decide we need to live a bit. Its simply bad timing timing sometimes when trying to hang onto a friendship.

I know that in about 10 years time, majority of the people I know will be at roughly the same place in their lives. I'm 25 and got married 2 years ago. We dont have offspring yet, some of my friends do already, some are married, some aren't. I reckon the only difference in 10 years time will be the diffence in age of ours and my friends kids. I reckon eventually most people marry, and most have kids. But in your 20's, everything is changing really fast. We all do it at different times, and catching a stage of your life to match someone else's is a real trick.

Congrats to Ixnay on the CK too.

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Old 06-12-2002, 06:59 PM   #47
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I thought of another aspect to this topic. It's a bit heavy, but does happen I think. The "white picket fence" image has been used here. Well sometimes when you get up close the fence actually has barbed wire carefully entwined around the pickets and is camouflaged by the dazzling white paint...if ya know what I mean. The fence, the territorial thing ,for keeping people in? for keeping people out? it can happen. One partner can deliberately alienate friends and isolate their spouse. I've been involved with a domestic violence refuge for some time and it's rather shocking what one human will do to another...in the name of love?

I am sure this is not what this topic is referring to, but it's just an observation I have made about "white picket fences" before and wanted to share it. If your friend does really have a dramatic change in behaviour and goes "AWOL" it's sometimes good to discreetly find out why. Tricky tricky task that though, dangerous sometimes too. I take my hat off to the refuge workers, courageous women imho.

Woah, maybe this belongs in Free Your Mind....?

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Old 06-12-2002, 07:50 PM   #48
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cass, you have a good point. A very, very good friend of mine got married and her husband soon completely controlled her. A frightening thing. She now has nothing to do with ANY of her old friends. He talked her into moving across country. No one has heard from her for a long time. I often wonder about her and hope she is okay. I was one of the first people he managed to separate her from. It is complicated, but he played mind games to get control over her. She wouldn't linsten to anyone else...and now she is gone.

Of course, this is an extreme case, but it happens. People can sometimes lose themselves in a relationship. Very sad.
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Old 06-12-2002, 09:03 PM   #49
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I Looooooooove being married! Even though Sorgie and I just met last weekend, I know we'll be together forever. WHEN IT'S RIGHT, IT'S RIGHT!

Tee hee
*whacks Sorgie on the butt
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Old 06-12-2002, 10:20 PM   #50
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youve all seen nothing

my graduating class of 2000 had 99 graduates.

at this point, 24 are either married or engaged to be this summer.

again, we graduated from HIGH SCHOOL in the year 2000... 2000 AD...

seriously, what is wrong with those people?

and i still cant even look a girl in the eye.

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