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Old 06-17-2005, 05:39 PM   #1
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Want some celebrity air?

Seriously wtf is wrong with these people?

A Breath of Fresh Pitt

by Joal Ryan
Jun 17, 2005, 1:15 PM PT



Joe Wilson has seen the future--no small feat considering the future is hard to see. In fact, the future is downright invisible. According to Joe Wilson, the future is celebrity air.

"This is the Pet Rock of the new millennium," says the Los Angeles-based comedy writer.

On June 7, Wilson and cohort Pam DuMond camped out in the bleachers at the Hollywood premiere of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and, as stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie walked the red carpet below, held up a one-quart Mason jar, then sealed the container tight.

The work of the so-called "Celebrity Air Collection Squad" was done.

And to think, Wilson's original plan was to go into the ocean air-collecting business. "To me, celebrity air seemed like a way better idea than ocean air," says DuMond, a chiropractor.

Bidding on the essence of Pitt and Jolie was up to $31 Friday afternoon on eBay--Wilson and DuMond's third go-round with the online auction site. Previous listings were pulled because, as eBay spokesman Hani Durzy says, "You can't sell a jar of quote 'celebrity air.' " Such a proffer is a violation of the site's "No Items Listing" policy, prohibiting sellers from selling what they can't prove exists.

Wilson and DuMond look to have found a way to abide by the rule by renaming their auction after what indisputably exists: The jar, or as it's now known, the "Celebrity Jar."

With or without eBay, Wilson boasts, "This thing has taken on a life of its own." Since their initial auction last week, he and DuMond have made headlines from Australia to Zimbabwe, and inspired a host of imitators.

There's the jar of air "contained while watching celebrity Brad Pitt." There's the jar of air that "may have been breathed by Michael Jackson." And there's the inevitable piece of toast--one trend piggybacking on another--featuring an etching of a jar of celebrity air.

All are current eBay auctions. But while Wilson sees a Pet Rock phenomenon in the making--the jar of celebrity air as the next, must-have item for pop-culture completists--others aren't so sure.

Collectibles dealer Lon Strickler laughs at the notion of appraising a jar of air that may or may not contain Pitt and Jolie's molecules. "I wouldn't even know [how]," says Strickler of online's Celebrity Autographs at Strickler's Sports. "To be honest, I wouldn't even bother."

Doug Norwine, of Heritage Galleries, a Dallas-based auctioneer, says the problem with a jar of air is that there's no provenance--"first generational proof," he says, that there's a there in there.

"Everybody has wishes and hopes, and for $200 you can buy a jar of air and hope it's them," Norwine says.

As a consignment director, Norwine is looking for "great stuff"--a Jimi Hendrix guitar, a Johnny Carson microphone from the Tonight Show, to name two items recently handled by Heritage. "It's not warmth, it's not food, it's not sustenance," Norwine concedes of even the most tangible celebrity collectible. "But what it [does], it takes you back to a moment of time, and it's a conversation piece."

Wilson would argue that he's got all that and more in his Mason jar--"It's conceptual art," "It's a way to remember a moment," and, "It would make a great wedding present." Regarding that last one, Wilson advocates the capturing of air from nuptials as a keepsake whether celebrities are in attendance or not. Yes, jars of air--they're not just for famous people anymore.

If Wilson sees a bright future for his and DuMond's brainchild, Durzy says that, in the eBay universe at least, it's not even close to toast.

"The idea of an image [any image] on toast has outlived the phenomenon of the Virgin Mary on a grilled cheese sandwich that started it all," Durzy says.

Now, if only somebody can come up with a jar of air captured while Pitt and Jolie were carving a picture of themselves into a piece of toast...
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Old 06-17-2005, 05:51 PM   #2
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Old 06-17-2005, 06:31 PM   #3
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What's next?

Celebrity excrement?
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Old 06-17-2005, 06:33 PM   #4
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I want Britney Spears' shit.

Oh wait, I already have her albums.
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Old 06-17-2005, 07:36 PM   #5
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:07 PM   #6
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:24 PM   #7
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can you imagine what humankind could be capable of if we put this energy into other things. Can't wait to see what future anthropologists will make of this!
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Old 06-17-2005, 10:15 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Windmilllane
I want Britney Spears' shit.

Oh wait, I already have her albums.
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Old 06-18-2005, 01:54 AM   #9
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can you imagine what humankind could be capable of if we put this energy into other things. Can't wait to see what future anthropologists will make of this!
They will determine our theology was based on the worship of celebrities.
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Old 06-18-2005, 06:03 AM   #10
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Oh my god. It's amazing what some people will pay money for.
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Old 06-20-2005, 10:38 AM   #11
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http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...sPageName=WDVW

It's almost at $2000 .
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Old 06-20-2005, 10:43 AM   #12
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That is really really sad.
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