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Old 01-18-2004, 02:13 PM   #1
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unOfficial State Of The U2 Forum Address!!

State of the U2 Forum Address

Good evening moderators, premium members, esteemed visitors, cynics, mensa members, introverts, conniosseurs, cannibals, poets, thieves, and imaginary friends! (applause!)

We stand united because we are all adherents of the greatest band ever sent from an alien civilization. (confused looks?)

In a time of great consequences, in these days of promise, hope and nights of reckoning, we can all be confident that at some moment we will all have in our cd players a new album from U2! (applause!)

In a whirlwind of change, missed deadlines and false rumors, our faith is sure, our resolve is firm and are union is strong in hopes that the new album will be the touchstone of all previous and future albums! (applause!)

I would first like to address my appreciation for the moderators and all the diligent work they have put in! (applause)

They have not only assisted the 'newbies' but have also led by example. The have implemented a standard on this forum that we all should integrate in each and every post and reply, how about giving them a round of applause! (crowd does so as moderators stand up and take a bow!)

It can only be expected that there may reside a small amount of friction on this site, as I'm sure everyone is eagerly awaiting news about the new album. Searching for the song titles, album name and cover and looking for any reviews that may have leaked. We all probably feel like Harry Potter, searching for news, the same way he did after Lord Voldermort returned and he was stuck on Privett drive. ooops. . I meant. . "you know who"

but our first goal is clear, we must unite our aggregation. (applause!)

we all face many challenges in our every day lives, some of us have children, some of us are in school, some of us drink too much and some of us face the infliction of self-depravity. A house divided cannot stand, I do not believe this union will cease to be, but I do believe it will be all one or all. . . . . . wait . . wrong speech, sorry. . . (laughs) (takes drink of vodka from water glass)

We have seen what can be accomplished when we work togather, we have decided that 'size does not matter, how you use it does' ' we have learned that there are gay pengies and that cat burglars will be apprenhended! (applause!)

Our site has witnessed many altruistic acts of philanthropy, but it has also seen over transgressions. (everyone looks around the room)

But we are not here to cajole or prosecute others, instead we begin this new year on a conciliatory note. (applause!)

I myself do not have an impeccable record and I will be the first to admit remourse for the dogmatic remarks I have made in the past. I know that I am viewed as a charlatan by some, and this is not always far from the truth. I am the by-product of a civil-war lineage, my ancestors fought for the rebellion under 'Stonewall'. Albert Sydney Johnston, Bueareguard and Robert E. Lee. I have a notorious penchant for conflict, as my family has always been full of mavericks who were quite vociferous in their opinions. But I have thrown down my flag and am willing to help unite this beautiful forum. (skeptical looks)

That brings us to our second goal. It is apparent that many are suffering from addiction to! Addiction crowds out friendships, ambition, moral conviction and reduces all the richness of life to a single destructive desire! (some look down)
Many members have sought treatment and have been unable to find any such help. Tonight I propose, to later propose a new program that will assist those suffering from this terrible infliction!

In the future I see healthy recovering interference-addicts becomming viable and productive members of our community once again! (applause!)
the founders of this site dedicated this forum to human dignty, the rights of every person, and the possibilities of every life. this conviction leads us to inevitably reach out and help the afflicted and defend the peace! (applause!)

I am doing this because I have a hidden agenda of how to profit from those in recovery. In fact I will be offering counseling and prescribe various U2 songs to alleviate those on the path towards self destruction. this may or may not work, any way each session is $1.27, american dollars only. (lights up cigarette)

And our third goal is to disseminate the music of U2 to all we know. I recommend using blackmail, bribery, and other strong arm tactics. although playing backward subliminal messages over P.A. systems can be quite effective. (strange sounds come over p.a. as if backward phrases. . . . . etuc si yug siht--- edud looc--- seibab ym evah)

This is very important as we are still in need of many, many more U2 fans before our plans of world domination can take effect. (applause!) the future is at our doorsteps, just unlock your 7 locks and let it in baby! (applause!)

And I am also proposing that someone else propose a U2 cd exchange program between old u2ers and new u2ers. I believe that if those who have a predilection towards oler U2 songs trade with those who think newer U2 is better, the maybe we can all find a common song to use as our world domination anthem. the reciepants of the albums will be required to console and care for each others cds, in order to appreciate the views of others.

This year is full of hope and promise! Although many challanges face us, we shall unite!! We will stand up for Bono against the FCC, we will help those addicts learn to turn off their computers at will, we will not use the nazi word, even if the soup nazi says 'no soup for you!' we will resolve why some of us hate mini-vans, we will not only view threads with sexual innuendo in the titles, we will continue to debate the greatest song of all time, we will settle on the best liquor to drink while listening to U2 (men drink beer, woman drink wine, but listen here, it takes a hero to drink everclear!!) I believe this all can be done, but only if we unite, the future looks bright, and the mother planet is losing sight, this is our year, this is a pivital moment, world conquest is only a cd away, long live U2!!!!!!

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Old 01-18-2004, 04:46 PM   #2
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Old 01-18-2004, 06:12 PM   #3
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Old 01-18-2004, 11:44 PM   #4
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Old 01-19-2004, 12:35 AM   #5
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Old 01-19-2004, 01:52 AM   #6
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Do you have any good drugs?
"If you needed my autograph, I'd give it to you." Bob Dylan
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Old 01-19-2004, 03:04 AM   #7
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Thanks, the lack of new U2 isn't easy for any of us.
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Old 01-19-2004, 03:49 AM   #8
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if I hear the word "resolve" once more I'm gonna yak. sorry, continue on
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Old 01-19-2004, 12:48 PM   #9
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and no, i did not sleep with that intern. infact......i was UP ALL NIGHT!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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Old 01-19-2004, 12:55 PM   #10
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Originally posted by MrBrau1
Do you have any good drugs?

no shit!
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Old 01-19-2004, 01:34 PM   #11
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Originally posted by MrBrau1
Do you have any good drugs?
Yeah ... I want whatever AntieEm is smoking.
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Old 01-19-2004, 01:58 PM   #12
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Originally posted by JessicaAnn

Yeah ... I want whatever AntieEm is smoking.
just tobacco baby! who needs drugs when they are high on life?
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Old 01-19-2004, 02:58 PM   #13
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Re: unOfficial State Of The U2 Forum Address!!

Originally posted by antietam
long live U2!!!!!!

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